Hmmmm. . . welcome to the 1000+ Club
I'm afraid all you get is a little extra leg room.
NOW. . . .
Football.
A Game where a spherical object. . the BALL. Is kicked around a football pitch by the use of the players FEET.
Hence the name FOOT BALL.
Where crashing into the other player bodily is considered bad form and is considered a foul.
Whereas, you colonials play a game CALLED Football.
Which does NOT contain a spherical object i.e. the BALL.
You have an EGG SHAPED OVOID, which is tucked under the arm and rarely comes into contact with the Players feet.
So YOUR game should be renamed ARM EGG.
So there. . . .