HuskyMom09

Thank you all, though reading most of your comments makes me well up I do realize you all are right. This is normal grief for a loved one, one I loved very much. [MENTION=6960]simhauu[/MENTION], I don't think that's crazy at all. A few days after my grandfather had passed I had a dream I woke up in my room at their house, I looked out into their kitchen and he was sitting at the table almost in a glow, he turned and looked at me smiled and then disappeared. I think that was him saying goodbye. But you're right I haven't said my goodbye to my boy. And he was MY boy, as much as I was his person. I don't think I'll be able to until his cremains are returned to us. It's then that I plan we'll have our moment for him. Until then I don't think it's finalized in my heart. Beyond that I will be taking the advise of another friend to write him a letter to put in his urn. I also realized my husband is grieving too, just in his own way. He may not have the random crying attacks like I do, but he's not just cruising through this like he appears on the outside. He called for Timber earlier today without thinking about it. When he realized what he'd done we both had a good cry. It breaks my heart not having him greet me in the morning when we let the kennels loose into the yard, at night when I kennel them up for the night, feeding time having one less bowl....I spent some extra time at dinner tonight while picking up bowls to just hug and kiss each of my fur-kids...if anything this has taught me to appreciate every single moment because you really don't know when it will be your last with them.

I understand needing the time to grieve....I was feeling like I'm bottling up everything. My husband seems like its just back to 'business as usual', my friends want to go out and do things like nothing even happened, I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to and when I do talk about it I get the feeling I'm being judged for 'dwelling' on it. But I can't even function. I feel like I'm on the verge of crying all the time, I fear people at work asking about what happened or trying to console me because I know I'll turn into a blubbering baby. I skipped my work meeting last night for that very fear.

I apologize in advance but I need to blow off this steam. As most of you have read in my other posts I lost one of my fur-babies yesterday. Since then I have been on an emotional roller-coaster. I know, I know, it's normal.....But my face is raw from the tears now and that doesn't show signs of stopping....I randomly start crying and my heart sinks out of what seems like nowhere. Then I get mad and of course more tears. I'm physically and emotionally tired but I can't seem to sleep. I have a migraine and feel sick to my stomach. I'm mad at myself, at life, at everything. I keep reliving the things I regret, like not being there with him when he passed away, not having that moment to tell him its ok and that I love him and goodbye for now....all I keep thinking is WHY!?! Why did this have to happen!?! I know they don't live forever but I never expected it to be Timber first....I was so unprepared for this! My world has been dumped upside down and I don't know how to get my feet back under me.

Timber 10/22/2012 Request From Rainbow Bridge by Constance Jenkins Weep not for me though I am gone Into that gentile night Grieve if you will, but not for long Upon my soul's sweet flight I am at peace, my soul's at rest There is no need for tears For with your love I was so blessed For all those many years There is no pain, I suffer not The fear now is all gone Put now these things out of your thoughts In your memory I live on Remember not my fight for breath Remember not the strife Please do not dwell upon my death But celebrate my life

Thank you all again so very much. Words cannot describe how much it means to us. I'm so happy that I was able to share him with you all while he was with us. Even though we only had him for 4 years, I believe we did our best to give him the best 4 years of his life. For those who had asked, his passing was quick and I do believe peaceful. It came as quite a shock to us, one that we're still processing. I know these things take time, and I feel it may be more of a slow heal with his loss, he was a very special boy and will always be in our hearts.

Thank you all so much. I too wished I could have come on today with some miracle story about how he completely rebounded over night....instead of feeling this pain and emptiness. Your support and thoughtfulness have meant the world to us today.

Thank you all so very much. This has been a very trying morning for my family as I'm sure you can all imagine. I for one have not been able to stop crying. Especially when I see his beautiful face, knowing I'll only see him now in my memory and of course the many wonder photos he blessed me with. After consulting our vet over the phone this morning we're fairly confident at this time he had a tumor that we didn't know about that burst. He got to go in peace, at home with his family. He came into our lives 4 years ago today, and we'll never forget how much he's meant to us.

It is with a heavy heart I say goodbye to my beloved Timber. He lost his fight with his illness at 0300 10/22/2012. We were blessed with 4 really good years with him and only wish we had more time.

amazing! What a neat idea!

He's not liking anything right now, not even his favorite treats....I'm lucky he's drinking water still. I ended up popping the pill in his mouth and using a water bottle to flush it and get him to swallow.

It's been pretty cold, I might complain a little but my dogs LOVE it. Looks like we might be going out tomorrow with the dual crews. Here's a couple pics one of my friends took

We were given Cephilaxin. Round 2 was interesting to get down him. He's not taking food right now so had to force it, and of course I have no help tonight! He nipped me twice, but did get it down. Now he's pooped out, the short potty walk took a lot out of him I know how it goes though, I had my own bout of pneumonia last year and I can totally relate being wiped out doing nothing.

Temperature is down to 102.4 tonight, fingers crossed this trend continues!

Well done! We're doing our first cart race in a couple of weeks, hope we have as much luck as you and your team

So much fun! Its an experience like no other! It's surreal listening to the pitter patter of the paw beats, the panting working dogs, and then to be passed by another team just hear woosh and they're gone! I can't wait to get the sled out! Its snowing as we speak Our first race is November 3-4 our second will be in December. Not expecting much just to have fun and get some much needed training in!

I will only be running my registered purebreds on my team. This way I can work on Working Dog and Sled Dog titles for them. Beyond that my big guys are old and are beyond the want to 'work' and Diamond is too broken to put in harness...The others may get a turn in recreational biking with me. For now I have to focus on training my team and integrating my friend's kennel into our work routine as we're planning on doing a combine kennel team for some pretty big races coming up in a year or so. BIG plans ahead for the dogs of Keahi!

Meds have been started, we'll have 72 hours before we know if he'll turn around or not. So far today he's been resting comfortably, minimal coughing with no blood, raspy expiratory breathing still....but he's sleeping now. Fingers crossed!

It was a lot of fun! Gearing up for our first cart race in November Hoping to get out a few more time between now and then! So excited to be starting this new adventure with my dogs and my friend's dogs!

I'm holding it together a bit more than I was. Had to have my mommy freak out moment, now it's thinking about it in a medical mindset. He's resting a lot more comfortably right now, still breathing heavy and coughing on occasion but no more blood as of yet. Thinking positive thoughts and starting meds for pneumonia today.

Thanks, it was a long sleepless night for me. I've been taking his temp and it has come down some overnight. He's finally laying down, still breathing heavily, but not coughing so much. He walked with me this morning, took a pee, but then wanted to come back into the house afterward. He's drinking his water normally, still not much interest in his food though. I'll be calling our primary vet in the morning to see if they can get us in...the emergency vet clinic is in town where there is a Wolf-dog restriction, if I even brought him there they would euthanize him for what he is not treat him. I'm still hoping one of these area vets calls me back.

A couple weeks ago my husband and I left for Utah for a week, the longest we have both been away from the pack. Our pet sitter calls late in the week to tell us Timber has been slow to eat his food and that he was seeming depressed. They moved him into our empty kennel to give him the opportunity to eat his food in peace when he wanted. He had normal stools, just slow eating. We all chalked it up to missing us. When we got home, the first night he was still a little slow to eat, but within a couple of days was his normal happy eating self. Depression seemed to fit. Nothing more to worry about right? Then today I come home to find blood on his front paws. Find nothing on him or any of the dogs to indicate injury so look in the mouth. There's some blood, looks like it might be from over chewing, ok that seems plausible. Go to feed later tonight and once again Timber is off his food. This time he seems really lethargic and is breathing heavier than normal. His breath sounds sound junky, so I decide to bring him inside for the night to keep a better eye on him. His breathing continues to be heavier than normal, somewhat expected being inside where it's warm....he's a cold climate dog after all. Then he started coughing and out came bright red blood. FREAK OUT momma! Called every mobile vet in the area with ZERO response, call my friend who is a vet tech and she says it sounds like pneumonia. With the erratic sudden temperature changes and his older age it fits....but man am I freaked out!

There was actually a really interesting conversation amongst mushers about working dogs and temps and being acclimated to the area they live in. There are actually sled teams that live and work in Texas if you can believe it! Don't ask me how though, I'm a cold temp dweller and not sure I completely understand it either LOL!

We took our first adventure out on our dog cart today! We had a fun run with a group of 8 other mushers We borrowed out lead dog a 9 year old Alaskan Husky named Xena from a fellow musher Jill Wilson, we were also blessed to have 2 of Naomi Smith-Hinkle's dogs Ziemabora's High Voltage at Kaniska "Zapper" WDX, GCH-CH Kaniska's Kauze For Kamotion "Kauzmo" the number 4 Siberian bitch in the US, and my oldest boy Dakota who I might add ROCKED in harness today! For not much training or experience he was AMAZING! Made the 3 mile loop with ease with the others!

everyone

Some are and some are not, it depends on social upbringing (from the breeders as well as continuing through the fur-ever home) and hereditary as well.