Sid_Wolf Posted November 14, 2010 Report Share Posted November 14, 2010 How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. Put on yesterdays clothes. I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!! PASS THIS ON TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS CHEERING UP, AS THIS WILL DO IT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leaddog Posted November 14, 2010 Report Share Posted November 14, 2010 lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffmonster Posted November 14, 2010 Report Share Posted November 14, 2010 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Posted November 14, 2010 Report Share Posted November 14, 2010 Me: Get up Run the bath adding bubble bath with water Half fill a bucket with cold water as Vix is trying to drink the bath water and set it beside the bath. Jump in Wash body with soap Get a facial from Vix's rough tongue for 5 mins Wash hair Blow the bubbles into the air and watch Vix try to catch them. Get another doggy facial Try to stop Vix from drinking the bath water. Grab the towels as water starts to drain. Get out of bath. Stop Vix from jumping in the bath. Brush hair. Put on any clothes in reach. Race Vix downstairs... :P :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renniwano Posted November 14, 2010 Report Share Posted November 14, 2010 pmsl.. love it !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TanyaE Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 lol me go into bathroom with dressing gown and dump it on the floor - or if its cold on radiator lol dump clothes on floor wash and shave get out put dressing gown on dump all clothes in washing basket get dressed lol cant be dealing with faffing about haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahNukka&Shadow Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Iv read it before but still PMSL when I read as its sooooo true! although I really want to know where to get jaffa cake body scrub!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
art1972@sky.com Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 That made me laugh so much - cheers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Hehe, I think the text is from this video? Luckily, not that much true for me (as a male). I have the bad habit of sort of loosing the time in the shower, ending up taking a shower for 30 minutes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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