Paulusworm Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 My son is having a few problems (to say the least) with bullies at school so we have been trying to get it sorted within the school rules. What is the point in having an anti bullying policy in place when there aren't any punishments/sanctions in place to deal with the bullies! Honestly, I feel like going all "Hand That Rocks The Cradle" on the little £&$#ers myself!!!!!! :angry: :angry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
instant-classic Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Had a fiend that had a similar problem with her son a few weeks ago, he was getting bullied in person via facebook and getting texts on his phone so it was pretty obvious which kids were doing it and they had proof .......... there still trying to sort it out with the school though Hope you figure something out soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan J P Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Sorry to hear that Paul But,i would stick with complaining at school,keep at them until something is done,these thugs need to know their actions will not be tolerated. i would go to the school every day until some1 listened to me and something was done. i went through this with my son a few yrs ago now,but,must admit the school were brilliant,they have a seperate building that these offenders are sent to and a 'school police' team. this was featured on secret millionaire last year......'Sids Place' in Redcar and it seems to work well,there was talk that other schools were going to maybe try something similar out. I hope your son comes through this ok,its a shame there is always that handful of people no matter where you are in the world that are always intent on making other peoples lives a misery. Good Luck!! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Complain every day till they do something about it. Give it a month of every day complaining to the school If that fails go to the local papers, then they'll sort it out as they don't like bad press. It's always the same way with schools, the nanny state ties their hands and sometimes even the teachers turned a blind eye. I got bullied at school, they did feck all until I smacked one of the bullies in the face, I would have put him in hospital if I had the chance. But even then it didn't stop. They wouldn't come near me in teh street though as they knew there are more serious reprocusions in the real world than in the school world. This whole pseudo world of school is twisted in favour of brats that can get away with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulusworm Posted January 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 they did feck all until I smacked one of the bullies in the face, I would have put him in hospital if I had the chance. See, that's the stupid thing about the whole situation. Alf plays rugby and does karate AND the school know he does. If he does snap one day then he'll seriously mess (you know what word I wanted to type really) the bullies up and then he'll be the one in trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabresmum Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Hope you get it sorted soon. My son's school were excellent when he got bullied (just the once and thankfully it wasn't bad). The kid was put in isolation for the day (within half an hour of me going to school) and warned that the consequences would be a lot worse if it happened again and so far it hasn't and that's over 6 months ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyCouture Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 hope you guys can get it sorted soon xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #2 Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 See, that's the stupid thing about the whole situation. Alf plays rugby and does karate AND the school know he does. If he does snap one day then he'll seriously mess (you know what word I wanted to type really) the bullies up and then he'll be the one in trouble. My son was also bullied in elementary school. He became a TKD blackbelt at age 10, and I let the school know that if the kids did not stop I had given him permission to defend himself. The bully's mother was the playground lady so her son did nothing bad. Well it happened, and my son turned around and punched a kid twice his size in the abdomen and brought him to his knees gasping for air. He did not try to deny it, and had the whole story. I was called and I sat with the principal and said I told you so. They stopped bothering him. They teach in karate to not use it unless you have to, and I absolutely supported it. It's usually a gang leader. You also might want to consider filing harrassment charges with the local police. They will go to the kid's home and it usually scares them, and the parent as well. Don't wait for the school to solve it, they won't, and they will always protect the bullies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Miss Bump Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 i was bullied from 2nd year of high school all the way through to 1st year of college bcoz i was best mates with the boy she fancided ...........the only break i had was in my final year at high school when they were in their first year at college-although they lived in the same area............i stopped going to school, i had an eating disorder and ended up not becoming a pathologist or a dr...........i shoud've had all As-A* and i came out with 2 As 5Bs 3Ds and a U (physics) i also came out with quite a few fractures, bruises-but more than that it shatters your confidence for life. my school was supposed to be shit hot on bullying and they had a couple of meetings with these girls but nothing happened-i had bottles thrown out of cars at me-the worst bit was that the boy i was friends with lived next door and they (her and her friend) would sit there as they know i wouldn't leave the house. please do something more for your child-do what ever you can bcoz this will stay with him forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosemary Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Paul, my youngest brother has dyslexia and was bullied for a year when he was in his third year of school. It had a terrible effect on him and he refused to get out of bed in the morning. My parents seemed to live at the school, but nothing was ever done. My eldest brother and I then took things into our own hands and ganged up on the bullies with our friends to back us up. That put a stop to it, but it wasn't pleasant, as it was so out of character for us both, but we couldn't stand by and watch our little brother be destroyed by those brats. We were taken to task by the principal, but our parents stood up for us, and told him that as he wouldn't do anything constructive, the kids had solved the problem for him. My brother never had a problem with bullies again, but he carried that year of bullying around with him for a long, long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 When Kells was at school, she got written death threats from some Girls not because of anything she did but simply because she had a cousin in the same school they did have a problem with. We took it to the school, they got the teachers to independently identify the handwriting which then tied up with the kids that Kells identified. Guess what happened. Kells got sent home from school for a week, bullies. . . nothing nada zip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 its sooo pathetic!!! irly hope you get it sorted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arooroomom Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 Just make the absolute biggest scene about it. They try to shush people away but the second you take it to the next level or threaten to call the papers they freak and will do anything in their power to make the bully pay. We have a school board here, not sure what's like there but if you take anything to the school board and say the school isn't acting appropriately (especially with something like bullying) they will come down with gods hammer on the school. Sometimes, you just have to take care of things yourself. Hope it gets sorted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex T Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 The thing with bullies is that they are often very sly in what they do and make sure that no one is around to see (except there mates), so its a there word against my word scenario. I'm a teacher myself, and after reading this thread thought it best to give you a few useful tips: 1. As already mentioned some teachers (as much I hate to say this) do turn a blind eye to what's going on. Complaining to them is useless - no matter how many times you go in and say something! 2. You might think the head runs the school, but they dont, they are governed by the governors of the school - If you feel the head is pointless, then tel them that you want a meeting with the chair of governors. Or ask for the chair of governors address and write to them, they are obliged to reply! 3. If all else fails the Local Education Authority is your next port of call. 4. Someone mentioned going to the papers - worst case scenario if you ask me, as this will only get your child Isolated more! I hope you can get this resolved as soon as possible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Miss Bump Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 good info alex-i agree on the head info-they don't even know 10% of the pupils in their own school let alone know their personalities. You need to kick up a fuss to the right people-maybe even take your child out of school for a while until it is sorted to show them how serious it is(but obv make sure u get all the work they'll need so they don't fall behind) rosemary and andy-so sorry to hear ur stories :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeatherOfJay Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Someone suggested going to the press? Can you remember that there is still a child involved in this, please? You would be better off going to the police as while they won't be able to "prosecute", a visit to the school and/or the offending child's home by the police may make people realise that you are serious. Let's face it, if it were adults involved in this, then you would be able to charge them with harassment, right? I hate stuff like this. It's yet another reason that I DESPISE Facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyrayn Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 my personaly opinion is that we as a society has gone soft...my parents used to get canned.. i would receive the slipper... my kids ...the teachers cant even touch.. their hands are tied so much .. how can they affectivly deal with these bullies.. suspending them doesnt teach them... means they get time off school and see it as only that... there is no deterent to these bullies not to do it again... bit like prison to criminals.. NO DETERENT... getting punished when i was at school taught me to think twice about what i am doin.. i would never mess about in some classes cos i knew the consequences.. .. i even got 6 of the best just for being with a kid that picked on another.. taught me to not be friends with kids like that...and even if the person being bullied stands up for them self and gives the bully what he or she deserves.. then they get treated as if they are the one doin wrong and is if they caused the trouble not saying that things like the cane should return but... i know that if i could pretty much do or say what i wanted and worse the school could do was give me a week off.. and tell my parents who also are no powerless to disipline .. well i probably would have played up more than i did....its all to common that thugs these days know that there is very little that can be done to them. i was no angel but i did know where the line was.. some kids today know where the line is .. but dont care..... had the slipper /plimsole / length of rubber my fair share of times. but only ever once for each thing.. co's i learnt.. and i learnt that what ever the teacher gave me as punishment my step father gave me twice as hard and twice the amount... i dont agree with physical punishment that is beyond reasonable.. but do think that we should hand back some of the responsibility and fredom to the school for our children when we leave them in their charge... but hey thats just my personal opinion.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shura100 Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Anti bullying system are shot and schools latly are to soft on punshing them x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
husky princess Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 the difficulty for schools is that usually the bully leader is being subjected to somesort of bully/abuse themselves & what they do (ie pick on a child like yours) means that they are in control & it makes them feel better as they are so 'knocked' down emotionally by their own bully/abuser that it makes them feel better. I realise that doesnt help you/your son but thats the issue the schools face and actually what they need to do is get to the 'route' of the problem but of course for teachers unless the child opens up or there is evidence such a black eye etc they dont have much to go on. I truely believe that punishment wouldnt help the situation but a councelling service would be far more appropriate with the right support package when the inevitable comes out of it. I hope things improve for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meeshsalts Posted January 23, 2011 Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 The problem is all school have policies but most ignore it and make out bullying is not a problem at our school until something serious happens. I was bullied for being differant and suffered most of my school years, I hated being there and my school work suffered through it. When I started secondary school I was at the top of school as far as work was concerned but by the time I left school I was at the bottom and left school with no quaifications as such. This was down to being bullied. Do not let any child suffer like I did. Schools need to stand up to bullying far better than they do. Children are commiting suicide because didn't stamp it out when they had the chance to do so. Make your childs school do something. Sorry if I have upset anyone but if you have not suffered bullying you have no idea how badly it effects the person and can effect the way their lives are for years afterwards.Lots become very intravert and find it hard to communicate with others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulusworm Posted January 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2011 Cheers for the support guys. Slowly but surely we are getting there. Had the home-school agreement home to sign the other day. Got the old hi-lighter out, hi-lighted all the areas that they are failing on and sent it back with a letter to the effect of I'll sign this when you start upholding your side of the contract. Damn it felt good although, oddly enough, they still haven't replied. Someone suggested going to the press? Can you remember that there is still a child involved in this, please? You would be better off going to the police as while they won't be able to "prosecute", a visit to the school and/or the offending child's home by the police may make people realise that you are serious. Let's face it, if it were adults involved in this, then you would be able to charge them with harassment, right? I hate stuff like this. It's yet another reason that I DESPISE Facebook. Had a "no names mentioned" conversation with the Police the other week so I'm with you on that one. Gonna give the school 'til the end of February to make some progress and, if they don't, I'll call back with all the names and dates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austinville Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 speaking as a member of the press..... If you came to me, I could tell your sons story and call the administration at the school for their comments, but if you hadn't followed the school's procedures, that would be all they would be able to tell me (or I'd get some generic comment like, "We're looking into the situation.") And in the end, the child could quite possibly get teased more because of the article. My advice is for you to find out policy/procedures for complaints and go through it step by step. They'll get you on a technicality if you don't. Is there a board of education that you can go to as well? I was picked on in school too, many, many, MANY years ago. I understand what you and your son are going through. It can leave deep scars, but as a result, I now have a writing career that I enjoy immensely and I give credit to those who harassed me as a child. I spent a lot of time writing things down back them and now, thanks to that, I have a career that I enjoy. Will admit that I secretly get a bit of pleasure when those bullies find themselves as parents of a child being bullied. I wonder if it resonates in them? Best of luck Paul! Keep us informed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattSouthall Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Heres what my mate did with bullying... Joined an MMA class (mixed marshal arts) and found the biggest bully and poped him one stright in the chin which can instantly knock someone out, and well all know how fast rumors get spread, well no-one messed with him for the rest of his school time he said learning self defense does help you a hell of a lot (like i took up karate) - once people hear your doing like kick boxing, generally not many people tend to pick on you... -hope it all gets sorted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austinville Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Alf plays rugby and does karate AND the school know he does. ........ he'll be the one in trouble. Not if you document each incident and the school's reaction to your complaints. Documentation is your best defense. Silly as it may sound, Alf and yourself need to start a journal with dates, times, who you spoke with at the school, their response, copies of any and all correspondence.....that way if something happens later and they try to pin it on Alf, you have proof that you tried all else first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sqwidge Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 My 9 year old niece was recently bullied, called a prostitute by a group of boys etc etc...they threatened to slit her throat if she told anyone, so she didn't for a couple months. My sister went down to the school and said that if they didn't sort it out, she would call the police and pull her out of the school immediately. They handled it, luckily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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