Huskycat Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 How on earth can I MOTIVATE a teenager to do revision! I have just had another 'heated debate' with my 16 year old Son about his GCSE Revision. Last week I went to Parents evening with him and all his teachers were in agreement that he is pretty well behaved, has quite a good head on his shoulders with natural ability but doesn't put in enough effort to get a really good grade. All his mocks were OK but with just a little bit more effort they would be great! I just cannot seem to get through to him - its like talking to the proverbial brick wall I remember perfectly being his age and thinking exams were stupid but now many years later I just wish I had worked just a bit harder and done a bit better. He has no idea what direction he wants to take - he would like to go to Sixth form but with no idea what subjects to choose (thats if he even gets in!) So what direction should I take - treats or threats!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 treats - but ONLY if he revises - if he has any games/phone/tv ect take them off him and tell him he cant have them back till hes atleast done SOME revision i really regret not revising and doing better in my gsces - if i could go back i would you could also get a mcds application form n give that 2 him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Miss Bump Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 personally i'd leave him to it-when my mum used to try and take things off me it made me not care even more- i could have all A*s but my bf got in the way!!! but it'll make him realise he has to motivate himself. its not ur job just drop in convo about how people doing rubbish in their GCSEs and left working in macdonalds..........but bare in mind some people dont mind working in macdonalds as long as they're happy...it's a wage isn't it!! personally if i could have a 9-5 job monday-friday on a wage that kept us happy i'd be happy...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kells xx Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 just tell him that even in maccy d's you need gcse's so get off his butt and revise or you will buy him a scabby dog and he can sell big issues in the town centre... no threats and no treats just make it real to him.....take him to the job centre/dole office and show him some of the tramps etc and tell him that he will be that way without gcse's and qualifications no niceness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich & Kody Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 How about result orientated rewards? i.e if you get x many A grades you get something he really wants ... Driving lessons maybe? My dad offered me cash per grade so £5 per C £10 per B and £20 per A this was 10 years ago when money bought more though ... might have to bump it up a bit Failing that a Stim Collar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahNukka&Shadow Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Maybe dont nagg, rather sit down and have a really good convo with him about his options in future, let him know how much easier everything will be for him if he has good grades and then help him come up with a reasonable revision schedual, so like maybe when he gets home from school he can have a half hour break to change and get a snack or whatever and then has to do a solid hour of revision, then can do whatever he wants after that? I know if someone had helped me schedual realistically I would have been more motivated and would have done better! Get involved in his revision too, read his stuff with him and then just randomly fire off questions at him to test that hes actually absorbing what hes reading... its extra work for you but I think its worth it as it will mean a lot less heart ache for him in future! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huskycat Posted February 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Thanks guys for all your advice - just what I needed some ideas other than my own (+1 to you all) . I really wish teenagers came with a handbook! I love the idea of the stim collar Richard and the scabby dog Kells but maybe the way to go is to try and have a grown up discussion with him, give him all the facts and then back off and promise him some driving lessons if he does really well. I really try not to nag Alex too much - I realised its hard for him as well, all his teachers are talking about is exams, exams, exams and then he gets it from me at home too! also being my eldest child, its a learning curve for me and you can bet I will be much more relaxed with the other two Thanks again peeps - remember when your kids get to be teenagers and you are tearing your hair out - give me a shout and I will tell you what I did and how it went Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kells xx Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 my parents used a family tactic we have some family who 'stopped' going to school at 12 and have neer had jobs but have pushed out kids/been druggies etc and my parents simply said....'do you want to end up like that' the answer was a massive hell no and so we studied and revised the family mentioned have more kids and are in various bad relationships....have criminal records as long as the great wall of china and are generally scabby!!! they then beg us for money and stuff and when we say no they call us posh ___________ enter words there!!!!! if you have stuff like that to use as well as a conversation.... may help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparks Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 i wish i was offered treats when i was doing mine, i would have done alot better, i didnt revise for my GCSE's but managed to scrap into 6th form. when i was there i realised that there was no point being in 6th form if i wasnt going to try, so i worked hard and got into University, prob one of the best choices i have ever made. personally i wouldnt offer treats for exams, they shouldnt be something you only do well in because you are going to get something nice out of it, he should have self motivation in wanting to do well if he wants to get into 6th form. for example you off him treats now, when he gets to his 6th form exams, is he going to expect treats again? more than likely yes. and then the same in university probably...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyCouture Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 hope you can get through to him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyshqa Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 My parents never even checked to see if I'd done my homework in the end. Their completely hands-off tactic was a God send in my eyes, I HATED it if they ever tried to talk education with me I would just completely shut off, I don't like to feel like I'm running on someone elses deadlines or to someone elses expectations. I know my limits and get the work and revision done in my own time. So if I were him I'd be saying don't worry, just let me get on with whatever I want to do and how I want to do it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 my parents were great with me - my mum sat with me and we revised together - i'd go and research a topic and she'd test me on different things or i'd sit and explain something to her that she already knew but i told it as i was teaching her so i understood it better if that makes sense? She also gave me x amount for each grade i got too which was a good motivation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex T Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 I remember sitting my GCSE's - my parents nagged and nagged to get me to revise, so I deliberately wouldn't revise when at home! However, I did revise when out at mates or free periods in school! In the end my grades were better than expected! I suggest leaving him to it and see what happens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
husky princess Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 does he know how to revise?? i know that sounds daft but sitting there glancing over work isnt exactly stimulating. he may need some guidance on how to revise effectively? Someone i used to work with had 4 kids. her first 3 boys were hurrendous at anything related to education. In the hope to encourage them she offered a financial reward for each good grade. i cant remember what it was but i think it was something like £250 for each A/B and £100 for each C grade. She knew deep down that her money was safe but would pay up if it helped. Then her 4th child (daughter) was completly different. She ended paying out loads of money but she felt it was all worth while and she deserved every penny she got for her hard work. Perhaps a thought/consideration??? i didnt do an ounce of revision and got ok grades. i did however manage to scrape through so that i could go to college to do the course i had planned to do. overall i have done well with my career and went to uni as a mature student & now arn well above the average age. i personally dont think it all stems from GCSE's. When your older you have much better focus and do it for you and not cos someone has nagged you. i totally believe nagging gets you nowhere especially with teens. they have to want to do it. my parents took a back step and didnt even both asking about homework, revision etc. i think they learnt from my brother that they just stressed themselves out. My brother got fab grades and has a very inconsistant career and has retrained/qualified several times. i personally dont think it all hinges upon what you achieve at 16 any more. Does he have a goal/idea of where he wants to go? if not its very hard for him to apply revision with his career etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparks Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 ohh forgot to say, reading over it is not revising, you may as well not do anything, trust me its happened to me. tell him to get as many past papers as possible and go through the questions continuously! this is how i do it and its got me through 6th form and 4 years of university. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huskycat Posted February 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Thanks so much for all the great advice and opinions, its really made me think! Claire I think you hit the nail on the head though - he has no idea what direction he wants to go in career wise and I just find that quite scary for him. Its hard enough for kids today as it is to get a decent job. OK, we have a 6th form presentation evening at school tomorrow that I am taking him to. I am not going to nag (I promise ) I am going to let him lead and make his own decisions. I will just let him know that I am there to help if he needs it. Fingers crossed - I just want so much better for my kids than I acheived myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 good luck cat keep us posted - all the best for him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebe03 Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 IMO I would say leave him to it as in my experience motivating a teenager is nigh on impossible. Just let him know that your there if he needs any help with his revision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeatherOfJay Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 How on earth can I MOTIVATE a teenager to do revision! I have just had another 'heated debate' with my 16 year old Son about his GCSE Revision. Last week I went to Parents evening with him and all his teachers were in agreement that he is pretty well behaved, has quite a good head on his shoulders with natural ability but doesn't put in enough effort to get a really good grade. All his mocks were OK but with just a little bit more effort they would be great! I just cannot seem to get through to him - its like talking to the proverbial brick wall I remember perfectly being his age and thinking exams were stupid but now many years later I just wish I had worked just a bit harder and done a bit better. He has no idea what direction he wants to take - he would like to go to Sixth form but with no idea what subjects to choose (thats if he even gets in!) So what direction should I take - treats or threats!!!! As a GCSE pretty much counts for naff all, then just let him - excuse the turn of phrase - learn his own lessons. If he doesn't know what subjects he wants to do (I don't agree with the age at which exams are taken - who really knows what they want to do when they're 16?) then I think that you should be talking to him about that instead. You need to get him to realise a goal and what it will take to achieve it; otherwise (no offence intended) you're just his nagging mum. At least if you talk through his AS possible subject or NVQ or whatever it is he's interested in, then he will know what grades he needs to get to take those subjects and will work harder on those subjects. Just a suggestion! ps Also, I couldn't see other posts, so apologies if someone has said this kind of thing already Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseWillow&Dexter Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 i wish i had studyed harded in high school, i just coasted through it doing as little as possible. But it didnt matter how much people tryed to tell that back then i still wouldnt have listened i don't think i ever once thought 'if i don't study hard I'm never going to get anywhere in life and have money etc' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miya Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 I'm not sure exactly how your system works, but I would assume it's fairly similar to here. I'm also assuming revisions are exams? I'm almost 2 yrs out of university now and am still studying lol. That's what I get for choosing to be a military pilot I know that what motivated and still motivates me is having a goal that I have set for myself. I was lucky and knew what I wanted to do by grade 10 (15 years old). This was in part thanks to my parents talking about different jobs at the dinner table. They never really nagged on me about my marks, but my Dad did explain to me that the best way to keep my options open and likely get my dream job was to do the best I could at everything. He mentioned that it's the people with the best marks that often get to choose exactly where they want to go. It definitely keeps lots of doors open! My Mom also brought up her experience since she had never finished University (because she had me) and never went back so now didn't really have many options for jobs she could do. Knowing what I wanted to do so early on really helped my focus and drive to get good grades. If I could go back though I would try harder in high school. Because I was naturally good at school and didn't have to try too hard for good grades, I didn't study much. That made for a really hard first year at university. I did my first year in engineering and almost failed! I had a D average and actually failed a couple courses. I was heart broken and couldn't believe I had done so poorly, but it was because I expected to be able to coast through like high school. The best thing my parents did for me was to let me fall that hard. Sure they tried to keep engaged in how I was doing and offered help if I needed it, but overall they let me learn through experience. When I came to them frustrated with how I was doing, they listened and said "well, it sounds like you've got two options. Keep trying to coast through and take the marks thrown your way OR start really studying and work hard for the mark you want." I changed programs and started to work harder. In the end my marks came way up (graduated uni with a B+ ave including that first year). Base line here, I had to have a goal and had to experience it for myself. My parents being there for me and offering help if I wanted it was great too. I'm so glad they didn't push me though and instead just guided me and then waited for me to come to them. It's a hard thing to do, I'm sure and I have all the more respect for them because of that! My advice to you? Show him different options and what he needs to do to get there, help him set goals for himself, and then be there for support if/when he needs it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee&Falks Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 Cat I went through this last year with my son. His mum wanted to reward him or take things away but I told him I dicked about at school and college and ended up joining the army (even though I have A-Levels). Cause of this I have missed a lot of his childhood and lived away from home and just tell him is this the kind of life he wants as he really misses me. Also I was pressures by my dad to go to uni so I kind of rebelled by putting no effort in. So for me I would just warn him as I did and say if he doesnt do well and go to college then he will have to find a job and pay rent, and that you will take this much rent regardless of how much money he gets. Let him realise that soon he could be entering the real world and how difficult it can be out there and if they chhose to be idle then they have to learn the hard way. You can't do everything for them their whole life and someday they need to realise they need to work for a living. BTW this is just my opinion and in the end my lad passed his GCSE's, not as good as he should and only got into his 2nd choice college, he is in his 1st year and we had to have a meeting at college as he wasn't putting the effort in and he was told if he carried on he would get booted out. Told him the same thing and he just text me saying he got a A in his psychology (SP) exam last month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huskycat Posted February 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 I am so glad I opened this post - its really interesting to get the points of view of all generations. Some of us like me going through this with our kids and some young people telling their own experiences. Its nice to have a sounding board I hope I don't come across as a nagging Mum. I have tried not to get too heavy with Alex over all this as its being throw at him constantly at school every day by all his teachers - who all think their subject is much more important than any others! We had a 6th form evening presentation at school Thursday evening that I took him too - Mark didn't come with us as he had to stay with our other 2 kids and sometimes I think its overwhelming for the kids if both Parents are breathing down their necks. It was quite a good presentation - they had some of the current 6th formers (Year 12 & 13) talking about the 6th form and their experiences and how they chose their courses. There was then a chance to pick up leaftlets about all the courses and chat to the teachers. I let Alex make all the decisions on who to speak to and he is 3/4 of the way there now in choosing his courses - he has decided to do Applied Science, Computing and Film Studies. He did think about Maths but one of the teachers really laid it on the line for him about how difficult the course is and that he may struggle with it (which I thought was probably the best thing for the teacher to say - no sugar coating the course - just telling him as it is!) so he has still to make a 4th course choice. Once again thank you to everyone for their input (+1) to all PS: Lee, well done to your lad on his Psychology A grade, you must be very proud of him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparks Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 when i went into 6th form i done, I.T, Electronics and design technology. To start with i was told i will struggle with I.T and originally i was told i could not do it! so i said its my choice, if i struggle that is my fault.. at the end i came out with an A in my course work and a B in the Exam. so just because they say you will struggle doesnt mean anything really. its what you put in what really makes the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser09 Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 I am very new to the site but read this thread to my 14 year old homework phobic son. it was great to read him answers from other 'nagging' no I mean caring parents, and from young people who have much more recent experience which is more relevant to my son. We have got some good ideas which we are both keen to try out, - hopefully we will find what's right for him. many thanks to all who have contributed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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