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Warning - a bit rude do not read if easily offended


Sarah

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Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?

A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?

A: They don't have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?

A: They won't stop for directions.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?

A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: Why don't women have men's brains?

A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?

A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?

A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why did God make men before women?

A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?

A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?

A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?

A: What men know about women.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?

A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?

A: He's breathing

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?

A: Government bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?

A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?

A: They are both empty from the head up.

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?

A: Who cares?

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: We don't know. It's never happened.

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?

A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?

A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

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