nush Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!! I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said. "A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do." My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70! Bo*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a pee ." Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it. I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead. Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried. "What's the matter?" I asked. "I've got the big C, "he said. "What, cancer?" "No, dyslexia." I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan J P Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 lol lol lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 BWAHAHA LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseWillow&Dexter Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #3 Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 very funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Thanx for making me laff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Okay, some of those are really cute, but some of them get lost on this Yank (and I hate referring to myself as a Yank! since I'm way below the Mason Dixon line!) Among others, what's a dead leg? That one made no sense to me at all ..... and go ahead and laugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nush Posted July 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 dead leg is the sensation you get when you bang your leg really hard and lose the feeling in it (sorry that the only way i can think to describe it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 dead leg is the sensation you get when you bang your leg really hard and lose the feeling in it (sorry that the only way i can think to describe it) Nope, still does not compute. There's nothing worse than trying to explain a cross cultural joke - I think I'll leave bad enough alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Nope, still does not compute. There's nothing worse than trying to explain a cross cultural joke - I think I'll leave bad enough alone! someone punches u in the leg over n over again untill it gets to a point that it hurts so much u can no longer feel ur leg lol lmao at the jokes lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<3Jess<3 Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 lmao sad ..but fail so good there funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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