Sarah Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 Hmmm not sure if i've ever posted in here before but my goodness i'm posting now!!!! my stepdaughter goes to Scouts on a Thursday night with some of her friends. She always takes her mobile and hubby always picks her up at 9.15pm on the dot. Tonight however he picked up a very upset little girl (ok ok she's 14 and not that little but still a girl) She had a minor argument with her friend but they sorted it out in minutes, the "leader" who is covering whilst the official Scout leader is on holiday questioned Louise about the argument but Louise replied that it had blown over and they had sorted things out. This leader kept pushing her for an answer and demanded to know what was going on, the "helpers" also then jumped on the band wagon so Louise got her phone out and called her dad to come pick her up - make a mental note - she called her dad at 7.50pm - however he didn't pick her up until 9.15pm ....................why???? Because the LEADERS and i am now using this term VERY lightly, took her phone off her and her jacket and bag and put them "away"!!!!!!!!!!! She asked for her things back but they refused to give them back to her, so she asked to call her dad to come and pick her up - she was denied this! She went and sat outside for the rest of the night and then went back in to ask for her jacket - they told her she couldn't have it and she wasn't allowed to leave as "they are responsible for her" Yes that I can understand - but why not let her call us to pick her up????!!!!!!! She asked again for her jacket but they again said she couldn't have it :mad: So her friend went and got her jacket and lent it to Louise. 9.15 comes and hubby goes and picks her up - has a row with the "leader" who told him that she couldn't ring him as "they" don't have his number - erm HELLOOOOOO our numbers are in her PHONE that you TOOK from her!!!! I have gone mental - i've called the out of hours complaints service and now my complaint has been logged with the District Commissioner who will be investigating and calling me hopefully tomorrow. I've told them that she will not be going back there until the ACTUAL Scout Leader is back from holiday and 4 of her friends who were there tonight have also expressed concerns about going back there. :arghh::arghh::arghh::arghh: Cookies to anyone that got through all that!!!!!! :cookies::cookies::cookies: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 I thought I was actually nice, calm & polite as always Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted July 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 I thought I was actually nice, calm & polite as always hmmm yeah whatever! That's why i rang and complained - if you had called you'd still have been swearing etc at them now!! At least i have some diplomacy I NEED COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 Wow. I got through all that unscathed. I can see how you're upset, though. There's too many stupid people these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 I Read it! It seems those scout "leaders" or "helpers" are on a power trip o_O and didn't like being told no by a 14 year old, which of course she should bloody well do and they should mind their own Business! Its good that Louise stood her ground and didn't tell them though, Good on her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 I only told him that he was the adult and should have asked for her phonenumber, that he was out of order and how dare he even dream of refusing to let her speak to me. I did refrain from pulling his head of his shoulders ..... Just Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan J P Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 That is absolutely disgusting!! no wonder you are not only annoyed but steaming. if Louise was quite happy that she and her friends had sorted things out it should have just been left alone Obviously your daughter and her friends have a lot more maturity about them than the leader has. Had she wanted to go home,she should have been allowed to do so,yes they are responsible for them but she wasn't walking home she was wanting to phone her dad to collect her. i hope you and Louise get a sincere apology for such atrocious behaviour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 Its good that Louise stood her ground and didn't tell them though, Good on her! Oh she'll stick up for herself when she needs to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranormal Wolf Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 wow I would have been furious, that is no way to treat anyone. Very rude and very inappropriate. Sorry for the bad night, hope things get better and gets sorted out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 I'd be calling the local headquarters and having some words with the paid professionals. That they refused to let her call home was way off base! If you managed to keep any kind of cool when she told you, you'd have been doing more than I would have been! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules dief taz tor Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 i would be furious too. that is disgusting. i hope you take the complaint all the way to the top. and i agree i wouldnt be sending her back untill a proper leader was there , and heres a cookie for you :cookies: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissu & Aara Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 I hope something is done abot those fools Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<3Jess<3 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 god i would have gone so nuts cant believe they took her stuff off her and then would give it back...what if something happened??!?!?! ugh hopefully they are not allowed to be left alone caring for chn again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna's Mum Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 :mad::mad:That is disgusting behaviour!!! My partner was a Scout Leader (and is now an Explorer Leader, the next age group up) and he would never EVER force an upset child to stay in group! Although it sounds like the "leaders" were the one's who caused the upset as your daughter had done the "grown up" thing, solving the issue herself! It makes me so angry because the Scouting association is a fantastic way to keep kids active and helps them grow and flourish in their independance. I wouldn't be surprised if your little girl never wants to go back and that's awful because she's obviously got friends and had previously been enjoying the group. You're doing the right thing talking to the District Commissioner, they can stop the temporary leader from taking a group again and from the sounds of it they should not be involved in Scouting at all!! Kids are kids, they have arguements the whole time and 99% of the time it blows over pretty quickly and the kids learn a life lesson, no need to get adults involved! Great big hugs to your little one, I really hope this doesn't put her off Scouting for life, is there another group locally? Maybe she could switch? We've got a big fundraising event for my partner's Scout group tonight. Hog Roast & Live Band!! Then tomorrow is "Luna Day"! big hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 thats is awful. And us Louises often do stick up for ourselves! :cookies: for you Saz, hope you are feeling a bit less angry today. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marley & Lumikkis Mummy Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 I only told him that he was the adult and should have asked for her phonenumber, that he was out of order and how dare he even dream of refusing to let her speak to me. I did refrain from pulling his head of his shoulders ..... Just you were pretty calm then Marc, I would have pulled his head off his shoulders, and done a steamer down his neck as well :rollingpin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boondog Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Wow - i could walk all over this, and have a field day. You are right to be angry and its completely understandable. However i also suggest a measured response, as the leader will be back soon, its usually quailty time spent with her peers in a (usually) controlled and safe enviroment, the inexperiance and lack of child protection training shines through. Be annoyed and demand better standards, demand that everyone who leads - full time or part time meets child protection standards, and doesnt behave like a bully. I support you, but i also want you to ensure there is a future there for your daughter, by not burning bridges, your child within weeks will have forgotten this experiance, yes you must enusre her welfare and safety and that of the other folks attending; So you've done what you need to, corrective action will be taken , and within weeks should be water under the bridge and a lesson learnt. Best Regards Boondog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebe03 Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Well done Louise for being the adult in this situation when the leader was being an idiot. Well done @Marc for not ripping the leaders head off for them confiscating her phone and keeping her a prisoner when all she wanted to do was ring you or Sarah to be picked up early. Well done @Sarah for registering a complaint which will hopefully result is this individual being released from his duties as a leader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo & Oisin Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 How dare they stop Louise from phoning you! That is awful! I think you guys are right not to make her go back until the official leaders are back again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseWillow&Dexter Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 That is just disgraceful behaviour, goon on you for not letting it slide and making a stand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 how dare they stop her from phoning and taking her things! :eek: clearly feeling all powerful over a 14 year old , some sad people these day!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 :mad::mad:That is disgusting behaviour!!! My partner was a Scout Leader (and is now an Explorer Leader, the next age group up) and he would never EVER force an upset child to stay in group! Although it sounds like the "leaders" were the one's who caused the upset as your daughter had done the "grown up" thing, solving the issue herself! It makes me so angry because the Scouting association is a fantastic way to keep kids active and helps them grow and flourish in their independance. I wouldn't be surprised if your little girl never wants to go back and that's awful because she's obviously got friends and had previously been enjoying the group. You're doing the right thing talking to the District Commissioner, they can stop the temporary leader from taking a group again and from the sounds of it they should not be involved in Scouting at all!! Kids are kids, they have arguements the whole time and 99% of the time it blows over pretty quickly and the kids learn a life lesson, no need to get adults involved! Great big hugs to your little one, I really hope this doesn't put her off Scouting for life, is there another group locally? Maybe she could switch? We've got a big fundraising event for my partner's Scout group tonight. Hog Roast & Live Band!! Then tomorrow is "Luna Day"! big hugs Chloe has made some really excellent points. I would also ask (a) was there a person there who was warranted, as I believe they can't run a meeting without a warranted member. ( Did you ever sign a document or told that she may not bring a phone, if not legally they have no right to take her phone off her without permission, especially as there was no just cause. © when she was outside who was ensuring her safety? Did an adult stay to supervise her. (d) Why didn't they have a contact number, ask them how would they plan to get in contact with you if she was ill/had an accident. Hope you get some satisfaction I too would be absolutely livid if my child had been treated this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted July 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 thanks guys - yes i'm calmer today - i logged my complaint and was / am annoyed however i want the outcome to be that the people responsible are either trained correctly or dismissed. Louise made her own mind up about not wanting to go back however she has said that she will go back when the real leader is back from holiday. I'll be taking her down there next Thursday if things get resolved and they can talk to me about their inadequacies and lack of respect for another human being let alone a 14 year old! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 :eek: wtf!? poor louise! is she ok now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles Posted July 15, 2011 Report Share Posted July 15, 2011 Found out that the scout group can meet without a leader, as long as the person running it is CRB (criminal record bureau) checked. Also District Commissioner would need to be advised. If it is for an extended period of time the group is without a leader then the DC would need to arrange for a replacement to take over. There must also be a list of contact numbers and names for all children. Also children cannot be left unattended - health and safety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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