Sid_Wolf Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 How many of you lot call people 'hun' on here, fb, msn, text etc etc?? I'll bet loads of us do, I dont think there is anyone on here that I HAVENT called hun at some point! lmao So when will blokes realise that just because you chat to a guy and call them hun, it doesnt mean that you're gunna run off with them!?!?!? He is driving me mental! SO possessive and jealous, is trying to put a stop to us talking and gets huffy when anything is arranged or we're on msn/fb chat. If he thinks i'm going to give up my friends he's very much mistaken! Anyone else got a possessive OH? and how do you deal with them? cus his moods and bitching are REALLY getting on my nerves! It really puts me off going anywhere, because i know when I get home i'll get all the 'oh bet you met some nice guys didnt you, whats that dirt on your trousers? have fun in a bush did we?' I WAS DOWN THE FRIGGIN DOG PARK!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<3Jess<3 Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 wow thats really over the top... not to scare you but they do say people are only really jealous when they have done something themselves that or he might have some self concious issues...maybe sit him down n talk to him??? tell him u love him, ur not going to leave him and he needs to stop stressing so much as it's making u so uncomfortable good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boshka Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 Oh dear! poor you. I hope you manage to get it sorted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 oh sid hugs - sounds horrible - not so easy for you but when i had an ex like that i got out of there as fast as i could - maybe u need to sit down n talk to him n show him people on here always call each other hun - i mean hell i never used 2 till i joined here now i always say it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid_Wolf Posted July 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 He knows how much it annoys me and that if anything is gunna break us up it will be that but still does it... Maybe thats what he wants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valhalla Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 Dump him and get another one there are plenty out there lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowpups Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 I call everyone hun, bbe and chick lol I think u need to have serious words I had a ex like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissu & Aara Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 Yes. Please don't let him alienate you from your friends or family. From personal experiance, that is a very bad sign. I had to leave my ex because he was extremely jealous. He even hated when I hang out with my girlfriends. If I was more than a minute late he thought it was because I was cheating on him. That was so draining having to convince him every day that I didn't cheat. I would be a very different person than I am today if I hadn't got out when I did. I hope he calms down about it and sees you aren't cheating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosemary Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 I do Sid It's not easy to live with, but don't let it change who you are as a person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 I have never had an OH in my life, but if I have one like that I'll definitely break up with him =\ but ofc the decision is in your hands, it's up to you. But I bet around 90% of us will recommend breaking-up =P I mean.... even you know that's going overboard O_O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sibe77 Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 He knows how much it annoys me and that if anything is gunna break us up it will be that but still does it... Maybe thats what he wants Sid sit and talk to him, I am no different to your OH, im a very possesive person and am always arguing with Mary, its not fair for people to say get rid, im the way i am because i was shat on from a great height by a woman who i trusted, it really hurt and now i find myself unable to trust any woman! its unfair to tarnish another person by others mistakes i know that, but its hard when you love someone and you are scared of losing them. Trust me i know he is annoying cause i am, but he really is doing it cause he loves you... My god Mary was chatted up the other day while i was talking to her on the phone!! and i got off with her because she was to polite to him and never told him to do one! how sad is that?? all she said was "no Sorry im taken" What you also have to remember is sometimes its not the woman thats not trusted its the blokes that are out there, years ago when i had trust i watched this bloke trying it on with a then girlfriend, i thought it was bloody hilarious, he then started to go to far and grabbed her and really got in her face because she was not intrested! about 2Secs after doing that he was out cold cause i decked him! but what if i was not there?? how far would he had gone/gotten befor anyone else would had done anything? Mary Buys tops and shows me and i give her a really negative response and it really upsets her, " its to revealing!" "how much flesh do you want on show". I sat down with her the other day and explained that all her tops look greats on her and she looks so sexy and that i only say negative things cause i dont want other blokes seeing her in them, believe me i know how stupid i sound and no doubt your OH knows how stupid he sounds.... Sit down with him and have a chat.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Sibe77 makes some very good points, communication is critical. I would also ask do you want to stay with him? If you do and you feel you can't talk to him without it developing into a disagreement then maybe going to counselling may help as it sounds like he has trust issues and this will ultimately destroy the relationship. No-one should be subjected to what I feel is verbal bullying. Does he realise that this is what he is doing? His attitude may ultimately lead to the alienation of your friends and family which would not be good for you. Maybe this is what he wants your sole undivided attention which again is not a healthy sign. The problems definitely seem to be with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan J P Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 @Sibe77 i think its really honest of you to put all that into words,and i hope you and Mary carry on being a fab couple you've been big enough to admit its your own jealousy and insecurity and there are not many men who would do that! My hubs was extremely jealous and possessive when we 1st got together and going out became an absolute nightmare for me,to the point after 'an episode',i swore i'd never go out on the town with him again! and i didnt,for 2yrs!! He broke down once and admitted it was fear of loosing me that made him like this,and no not a great excuse,but at least i had something to work on. he also use to say things about my clothes,and it wasn't me he didnt trust but ''others'' we have now been happily married for 9yrs next month:D so it can work. @Sid_Wolf please try and have a serious talk with your OH,if its worth saving,then he needs to hear some home truths. you cannot change yourself for him and he shouldn't want you to. has something happened to trigger this reaction off? or has he always been like this but getting worse? If you want to be together then it can work,if you seriously dont want to be with him anymore....then tell him! ask him to be more involved when you go to the dog parks and he'll see there is nothing going on. mm!! just a thought has this developed more since you got your new job? maybe he feels you dont 'need' him anymore. good luck with whatever you decide P.S.......sorry for such a long waffle!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sibe77 Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 @Sibe77 and i hope you and Mary carry on being a fab couple ! Ah we will, and who knows maybe one day i might let her out of the celler, Which reminds me i must get a new padlock, silly cow broke the last one with all that banging on the door! does she know these things cost money??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Ah we will, and who knows maybe one day i might let her out of the celler, Which reminds me i must get a new padlock, silly cow broke the last one with all that banging on the door! does she know these things cost money??? And . . . . Here's Tony installing the new one. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 :doglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Oh Sid. Mine is a bit funny, but I have to admit im the same. A while ago he got a friend request on facebook, he doesnt use my laptop coz he doesnt know how so i manage his fb account for him most of the time. Anyways it was a good looking blonde woman, better looking than me. I didnt know who she was and he said he didnt either, so I declined her and banned her!!!! petty maybe but i wasnt having him being friends with a hot chick !!!! Hugs Hun. Men eh? cant live with them cant um....... what was the rest of that? !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser09 Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 you could show him the message from sibe77 and explain that you understand that he's worried that someone might run off with you BUT you don't want to go cos you are with him but you need space to be you with your friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 big hugs for tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebe03 Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Having been in a relationship with someone who had been cheated on previously she was continually accusing me of cheating on her. I work with many women and consider most of them to be good friends but that is all there was to it but everytime I had to go away for work I was accused of having an affair with multiple women. It ultimately resulted in us splitting up as although I trusted her she clearly didn't trust me, something she later admitted was true. I found out after we split that she had been flirting with other guys on chat websites whilst we were together so perhaps there is some truth in the saying that the accuser sometimes is the one cheating. I hope you can sort things out with your OH Sid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elenamarie Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 How many of you lot call people 'hun' on here, fb, msn, text etc etc?? I'll bet loads of us do, I dont think there is anyone on here that I HAVENT called hun at some point! lmao So when will blokes realise that just because you chat to a guy and call them hun, it doesnt mean that you're gunna run off with them!?!?!? He is driving me mental! SO possessive and jealous, is trying to put a stop to us talking and gets huffy when anything is arranged or we're on msn/fb chat. If he thinks i'm going to give up my friends he's very much mistaken! Anyone else got a possessive OH? and how do you deal with them? cus his moods and bitching are REALLY getting on my nerves! It really puts me off going anywhere, because i know when I get home i'll get all the 'oh bet you met some nice guys didnt you, whats that dirt on your trousers? have fun in a bush did we?' I WAS DOWN THE FRIGGIN DOG PARK!!!! Been there, done that. In my case, my hubby was just so insecure it was ridiculous. If possible, could you include him in some of your outings? Introduce him to your friends? That seemed to help my hubby a lot. And of course tell him how much you hate it, because whether he intends to or not he's in effect saying that you aren't trustworthy. And of course, don't give up your friends--people who want you isolated have other, more serious issues than jealousy. Men, I'm afraid to say, tend to be very insecure when it comes to other men with their women. It can be overcome, but it's SO frustrating. We're celebrating 16 years of marriage in a couple of weeks so it can be overcome. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid_Wolf Posted July 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 thanks guys and thanks Tony for the mans side of the story. He's always been kinda like it, but something will spark him off and he'll go off on one. he's not worried about random blokes (he says if random guys eye me up then it makes him feel good, cus he's got me, iyswim), its friends, 'in case i get too close' i will sit down and have a chat with him, I do want to be with him, though this has pushed us apart a bit recently, he was in a better mood last night when i explained to him how it made me feel (he'd spent half the walk home from my mums on about how i'd been having a gang session with James and Javiel because I walked to the dog park with them!) and we had a nice cuddle, so i think we can work through it ETA: he tends to stay away from my friends if he think they have alterior motives, because he says if he think they're flirting he might deck em! I do try to get him up the park but we usually go on sundays and he works sundays Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyshqa Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 However you decide to deal with it just make sure it stops. My parents have been together since my dad was 18 and my mum was 13 (times were different back then ) and ever since the start of their relationship my dad has been incredibly posessive and very argumentative about everything. Now, almost 30 years and 3 kids later, me and my siblings have grown up witnessing the most upsetting arguments and because my dad has driven away most of my mum's friends and virtually removed her independence I became the one she confided in so as well as seeing the arguments and the aftermath, I was well aware of their causes as well. It's not an environment I've enjoyed growing up in and even now, when arguments are at a minimum and we seem to be in a rare period of calm, my mum admits she has very few feelings for my dad. She's only with him through habit, having nowhere else to go, and her own leanred helplessness - she can't picture herself anywhere else and can't be bothered at her age to start fresh somewhere else, she's got no interest in starting up a new relationship and a new life, she just wants to be peaceful where she is. Probably for what this thread called for, but if I can stop other people turning out the way my parents have it's worth it, and the way you are now sounds remarkably like how they did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted July 19, 2011 Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 how i'd been having a gang session with James and Javiel because I walked to the dog park with them! It was a 4-Way actually remember my mate Rob walked with us with alfie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted July 19, 2011 Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 It was a 4-Way actually remember my mate Rob walked with us with alfie not sure this helps the situation james Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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