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Rhetorical Questions


Dave

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I love rhetorical questions!



  • Why is it that when someone tells you that there are billions of stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it?

  • How can there be self-help "groups"?

  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

  • Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

  • If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

  • The more you study, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know… so why study?

  • If a man with multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

  • Who put the keep off the grass sign there?

  • Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

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  • Why is it that when someone tells you that there are billions of stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it?



In case they are lying to you about the paint being wet.



  • How can there be self-help "groups"?

very carefully.



  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

I think the universe collapses in on itself if you photograph cheese.



  • Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Does not sound as good.



  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Because evolution does not work that way.



  • If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Did you not ever watch the movie Soylent Green?



  • The more you study, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know… so why study?

To look smart.



  • If a man with multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

yes



  • Who put the keep off the grass sign there?

someone with a very long reach



  • Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

they were "meant to be apart" but someone messed up the blueprints.

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why is the 2nd hand on a clock called that when its actually the 3rd hand ??

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a race car is not called a racist?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence

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why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections

why are there locks on the doors of stores open 24/7/365

why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway

why do they chain pens to the desks at banks and leave the doors unlocked

what is the point in a portable safe

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3 men go into a hotel.

The man behind the desk said the room is $30 so each man paid $10 and went to the room.

A while later the man behind the desk realized the room was only $25 so he sent the bellboy to the 3 guys' room with $5.

On the way the bellboy couldn't figure out how to split $5 evenly between 3 men, so he gave each man a $1 and kept the other $2 for himself.

This meant that the 3 men each paid $9 for the room, which is a total of $27 add the $2 that the bellboy kept = $29. Where is the other dollar?

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3 men go into a hotel.

The man behind the desk said the room is $30 so each man paid $10 and went to the room.

A while later the man behind the desk realized the room was only $25 so he sent the bellboy to the 3 guys' room with $5.

On the way the bellboy couldn't figure out how to split $5 evenly between 3 men, so he gave each man a $1 and kept the other $2 for himself.

This meant that the 3 men each paid $9 for the room, which is a total of $27 add the $2 that the bellboy kept = $29. Where is the other dollar?

That $2 is what he should've given BACK (substracting) and is not something they paid (adding). Hence the calculation should be $27 - $2 = $25 instead and that is correct as that is what they should've paid that to begin with :)

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