Mistyrayn Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 *He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it I said to him ..... . . You wear pants don't you?* *He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? I said to him .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart* *He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? I said to him . .....** **Turn sideways and look in the mirror!* *He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay? I said to him ... . They don't have time.* *He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.* *He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.* *He said to me...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? I said to him. . ... A widow.* *He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women? I said to him .. . ... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed**.**Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.* *SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!* **** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan J P Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 :rofl::rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Jones Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sutsibe Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Jones Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. Both are threatened by their own kind. Both mark their territory. Both are bad at asking you questions. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches. Neither does any dishes. Both pass gas shamelessly. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. Both like dominance games. Both are suspicious of the postman. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone. Neither understands what you see in cats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Jones Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 How Dogs Are Better Than Men Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you're gone. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. Dogs don't criticize your friends. Dogs admit when they're jealous. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out. Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw). Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence. You can train a dog. Dogs are easy to buy for. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams. Dogs understand what no means. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner. Dogs admit it when they're lost. Dogs are color blind. Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do. Dogs mean it when they kiss you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Jones Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Where Dogs Fall Short Men only have two feet that track in mud. Men can buy you presents. Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block. Men are a little bit more subtle. Dogs have dog breath all the time. Men can do math stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marley & Lumikkis Mummy Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 :doglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Jones Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 WOW that takes me to my 500th post now can check out the rehome section..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyrayn Posted July 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow01 Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 some funny but all too true things there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 lmfao @ Liz they're fab and so so true!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanx both of you for making me Laff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser09 Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 very funny -going to pass these onto my friends thanks for posting and making us laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 lmao!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<3Jess<3 Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 haha love em all love the dogs are better then men too!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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