for the women

[Mistyrayn]

*He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing

to put in it

I said to him ..... . . You wear pants don't you?*

*He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

I said to him .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I

sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart*

*He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I

gave you?

I said to him . .....** **Turn sideways and look in the mirror!*

*He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?

I said to him ... . They don't have time.*

*He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet

paper?

I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.*

*He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring

and Good- looking?

I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.*

*He said to me...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is

every night?

I said to him. . ... A widow.*

*He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?

I said to him .. . ... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and

go to bed**.**Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the

fridge.*

*SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN

HANDLE IT!* ****

[Tan J P]

[Sarah]

:rofl::rofl:

[Liz Jones]

[sutsibe]

:rofl:

[Liz Jones]

How Dogs and Men Are the Same

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both mark their territory.

Both are bad at asking you questions.

Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

Neither does any dishes.

Both pass gas shamelessly.

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

Both like dominance games.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

Neither understands what you see in cats

[Liz Jones]

How Dogs Are Better Than Men

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't criticize your friends.

Dogs admit when they're jealous.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

You can train a dog.

Dogs are easy to buy for.

You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams. Dogs understand what no means.

Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs admit it when they're lost.

Dogs are color blind.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

[Liz Jones]

Where Dogs Fall Short

Men only have two feet that track in mud.

Men can buy you presents.

Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.

Men are a little bit more subtle.

Dogs have dog breath all the time.

Men can do math stuff.

[Marley & Lumikkis Mummy]

:doglaugh:

[Liz Jones]

WOW that takes me to my 500th post now can check out the rehome section.....

[Mistyrayn]

[shadow01]

some funny but all too true things there

[Sarah]

lmfao @ Liz they're fab and so so true!!!

[Andy]

Thanx both of you for making me Laff

[stormchaser09]

very funny -going to pass these onto my friends thanks for posting and making us laugh.

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

lmao!!!!!

[<3Jess<3]

haha love em all

love the dogs are better then men too!!!!