jules dief taz tor Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 i have 14 year old twin girls who both get the wrong time of the month at the same time feel free to feel sorry for me i can usually be found at my mothers house , far enough away to not hear them but close enough to get home when they draw blood we currently have 4 broken doors and we are refusing to fix them untill they stop slamming them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 i have 14 year old twin girls who both get the wrong time of the month at the same time feel free to feel sorry for me i can usually be found at my mothers house , far enough away to not hear them but close enough to get home when they draw blood we currently have 4 broken doors and we are refusing to fix them untill they stop slamming them oooch that sounds like hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 my lil bros do that - 12 and 15 , we leav um too it - one usually gets hurt n goes to sulk in bed n it stops - its their own fault - skyla joins in too n grabs them with her teeth - or blaze will try n break it up by mouthing the 1 doing the hitting i agree with taking away their stuff - just stay firm hun hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 hun seriously have tried everything. Last year I tried a person who was making a documentary on kids with behavioural problems and we didnt get on it. Have tried super nanny loads of times. noone cares You can't say no one, even when it seems that way. We care. I've spent as much of my life on anti-depressants as I have off them. My depressive episode seem to be situationally based but neither my VA shrink nor I can really put a particular trigger to them. I went with a lady for the better part of 5 years whose son was diagnosed with ADHD. The only thing that worked to get his attention was taking things away til he had nothing but books and could go nowhere. He was shocked the first time I grounded him, but I was at their house when he got home from school and you could tell he was thinking about "pushing" the issue but obviously wasn't sure what I'd do (( good thing he didn't, *I* didn't have many options! )) "Training" her 7 year old "walking tantrum" was a lot like training my dogs - firm and consistent. If I said "No." there was no amount of wheedling that was going to get me to change my mind (a logical discussion on the other hand might). And yes, I was there often enough that he learned to listen ..... I probably shouldn't say this since I'm not in your shoes, you don't hit your dogs, don't hit your kids. It really doesn't work in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 I probably shouldn't say this since I'm not in your shoes, you don't hit your dogs, don't hit your kids. It really doesn't work in the long run. I disagree with that tbh, my mum smacked me and my dad scruffed me and hauled my sorry arse upstairs when I really crossed the line and boy did I know it! It definitley made me think twice before pulling some stupid shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 You can't say no one, even when it seems that way. We care. I've spent as much of my life on anti-depressants as I have off them. My depressive episode seem to be situationally based but neither my VA shrink nor I can really put a particular trigger to them. I went with a lady for the better part of 5 years whose son was diagnosed with ADHD. The only thing that worked to get his attention was taking things away til he had nothing but books and could go nowhere. He was shocked the first time I grounded him, but I was at their house when he got home from school and you could tell he was thinking about "pushing" the issue but obviously wasn't sure what I'd do (( good thing he didn't, *I* didn't have many options! )) "Training" her 7 year old "walking tantrum" was a lot like training my dogs - firm and consistent. If I said "No." there was no amount of wheedling that was going to get me to change my mind (a logical discussion on the other hand might). And yes, I was there often enough that he learned to listen ..... I probably shouldn't say this since I'm not in your shoes, you don't hit your dogs, don't hit your kids. It really doesn't work in the long run. I meant noone professionally. I smack because nothing else works Its like i speak in a different language. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 If anything I think more kids could do with a good ol' arse whoopin. take the london riots for example, "oh no dnt watercanon them, they're just kids" blast the douchebags, make them realise that there are consequences to your actions in this world and not everyone will just give u a stirn talking to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marley & Lumikkis Mummy Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 I meant noone professionally. I smack because nothing else works Its like i speak in a different language. Smacking doesnt work either though hun, it just makes everyone feel bad. You cant teach a child not to be violent by being violent towards them. Im not saying you beat them but any form of smacking is violence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 Smacking doesnt work either though hun, it just makes everyone feel bad. You cant teach a child not to be violent by being violent towards them. Im not saying you beat them but any form of smacking is violence does that work both ways then???? I have been beaten black and blue by him in the past and had a heeled boot thrown at my head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 Smacking doesnt work either though hun, it just makes everyone feel bad. You cant teach a child not to be violent by being violent towards them. Im not saying you beat them but any form of smacking is violence But where do they know where the line is? how do they learn that they're actions do not have dire consquences, someone isn't going to put you on the naughty step in the real world, or take your things away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 So I openly admit I have smacked my kids! So shoot me now! I have been dealing with this for 7 blooming years!!!! Not one profession has given me anything that has helped. Not one parenting course has helped or worked. I posted here because I needed to have a rant and now im being slated because I smack my kids. Red X here I come. cya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 i only ever got smacked by my dad once - a nice huge slap to my thigh - fookin killed - made me think twice bout doing any stupid sh!t again tho - never needed to be told again - i think it was because tho that even tho dad has always been strict he never hit us so for him to do that to me made me learn my lesson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marley & Lumikkis Mummy Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 But where do they know where the line is? how do they learn that they're actions do not have dire consquences, someone isn't going to put you on the naughty step in the real world, or take your things away. Actions can have consequence without being hit James, Anyone who has met my children know they arent perfect (they mess about and dont listen as most children) but they arent really bad or unruly. If they are bad I take away something they love, or I ground them to their room. Im not a perfect parent. Far from it but I do agree that violence doesnt solve violence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marley & Lumikkis Mummy Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 does that work both ways then???? I have been beaten black and blue by him in the past and had a heeled boot thrown at my head and how did you react to being beaten black and blue ? Had you ever smacked him before he has hit you ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marley & Lumikkis Mummy Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 So I openly admit I have smacked my kids! So shoot me now! I have been dealing with this for 7 blooming years!!!! Not one profession has given me anything that has helped. Not one parenting course has helped or worked. I posted here because I needed to have a rant and now im being slated because I smack my kids. Red X here I come. cya No one is slating you hun, not in the slightest. I know that smacking doesnt work because ive been down that road and it doesnt help. I simply said smacking doesnt work and gave an alternative solution I never once slated you. If smacking worked for you then you wouldnt be here asking advice, am I right ? Im not having a go pls dont take it the wrong way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 Actions can have consequence without being hit James, Anyone who has met my children know they arent perfect (they mess about and dont listen as most children) but they arent really bad or unruly. If they are bad I take away something they love, or I ground them to their room. Im not a perfect parent. Far from it but I do agree that violence doesnt solve violence. Right so question, If Your child get grounded and then go screw this im gonna go out anyway, how do you up the consequence from there? do you up their grounding sentence? just for them to say im going out anyway again? I jsut think there has be a point when words lose effect and fall on deaf ears. The kids in schools would probably be better behaved if they actually brought some real consequences bk. Detention, the real trouble makers do not give a toss about detention and just won't go, so they get excluded, they get a day off, they don't care.... etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 No one is slating you hun, not in the slightest. I know that smacking doesnt work because ive been down that road and it doesnt help. I simply said smacking doesnt work and gave an alternative solution I never once slated you. If smacking worked for you then you wouldnt be here asking advice, am I right ? Im not having a go pls dont take it the wrong way. your alternative has never worked either ive had everything, his ds, tv, dvd, everything and he didnt change. I currently have his ps1 and ds on permenent confisgate. is he behaving is he hell! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 Right so question, If Your child get grounded and then go screw this im gonna go out anyway, how do you up the consequence from there? do you up their grounding sentence? just for them to say im going out anyway again? I jsut think there has be a point when words lose effect and fall on deaf ears. The kids in schools would probably be better behaved if they actually brought some real consequences bk. Detention, the real trouble makers do not give a toss about detention and just won't go, so they get excluded, they get a day off, they don't care.... etc I have actually gotten to the point where I have grounded him, hes run out the door, over the fence (gate is padlocked for dogs safety) and gone run off down the street. I cant leave a 4 year old on her own with the dogs and chase him. SO there hes got away with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 So I openly admit I have smacked my kids! So shoot me now! I have been dealing with this for 7 blooming years!!!! Not one profession has given me anything that has helped. Not one parenting course has helped or worked. I posted here because I needed to have a rant and now im being slated because I smack my kids. Red X here I come. cya No, that's why I said I wasn't in your shoes. you know what works and what doesn't in your life. Personally I don't like it but I do know that there are times when the only thing they respond to is the "2x4 to get their attention". What I personally like or dislike has no place in your life ... as I said, I probably shouldn't have said that. Sorry, didn't mean for the thread to go awry. //al Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 No, that's why I said I wasn't in your shoes. you know what works and what doesn't in your life. Personally I don't like it but I do know that there are times when the only thing they respond to is the "2x4 to get their attention". What I personally like or dislike has no place in your life ... as I said, I probably shouldn't have said that. Sorry, didn't mean for the thread to go awry. //al I agree, I think the best thing we can do is merely to give Lou suggestions, not that she should or shouldn't do x,y,z I hope you crack it in the end Lou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 No one is slating you hun, not in the slightest. I know that smacking doesnt work because ive been down that road and it doesnt help. I simply said smacking doesnt work and gave an alternative solution I never once slated you. If smacking worked for you then you wouldnt be here asking advice, am I right ? Im not having a go pls dont take it the wrong way. I'm not so sure that she was here asking for help as blowing off steam with people she considers friends. I was once working with a group of kids when one 12 year old decided he'd have a go at me - to the effect of "I don't have to effing listen to you!". Regrettably I backhanded him, not so regrettably he got up apologized and never did it again. As I said elsewhere, sometimes it takes the 2x4 to get their attention .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurchybold Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 Hi Hun, I'm a strong believer in the diet that you feed to kids, simple wholesome fresh ingredients. I am also an advocate for Omega three fish oils, have brought up 6 kids in total and yes it's hard. Taking things away doesn't always work, Omega 3 has always worked, Good luck, as has been said, we all care your not alone, Hugs, Andy & Boone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sutsibe Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 Having no kids, I can't offer any advice, although I will say that I feel there are times when a good swat on the butt can be effective. I remember as a kid being embarrassed and wanting to really avoid having it happen... Hope you can find a solution soon - hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 I agree, I think the best thing we can do is merely to give Lou suggestions, not that she should or shouldn't do x,y,z I hope you crack it in the end Lou Hi Hun, I'm a strong believer in the diet that you feed to kids, simple wholesome fresh ingredients. I am also an advocate for Omega three fish oils, have brought up 6 kids in total and yes it's hard. Taking things away doesn't always work, Omega 3 has always worked, Good luck, as has been said, we all care your not alone, Hugs, Andy & Boone thanks guys, just the love and hugs makes me feel better. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 Having no kids, I can't offer any advice, although I will say that I feel there are times when a good swat on the butt can be effective. I remember as a kid being embarrassed and wanting to really avoid having it happen... Hope you can find a solution soon - hugs! clever you gigi, no kids but a shedload of huskies, why didnt I think of that? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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