Sarah Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that: Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square, And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why hasn't the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, What the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day And as cold as hell on another? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down, And in which you fill in a form By filling it out And a bell is only heard once it goes! English was invented by people, not computers, And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all.) That is why: When the stars are out they are visible, But when the lights are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts, But when I wind up this poem It ends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmm001 Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 English muffins weren't invented in England? I feel so betrayed...there is no betrayal that bites as deep as breakfast betrayal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice and Cripton Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 nooooo English rules!!! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infinitykate Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Damnit. Now I want an English muffin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valkyries Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 each town as its own version of english its crazy take salfold init (isent it) aint (not) butty (sandwich) gonna (going to) ya wanna (do you want to) dosh (money) an so on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted July 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 lol yeah the north / south dialect is quite different - we have a chip muffin, down south they call it a chip balm, chips and gravy is also frowned upon the further down south you go as well lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammie Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 wtf is an english muffin?? some kidna cake? English is a silly lingo...my daughter who is 4 also has one that i find amusing each time she says it....plural being clothes, singular being clo....'why do i have to wear that clo?' lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valkyries Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 lol im in the south but from the north i was asked one day what i was wearing to go out that nit i just said a top an pants, well the look i got, : are you wearing nothing els: like what : well are you not weating trousers ffs pants are trousers to me but pants to them are nickers lol as if i'd go out in just a top an my nickers ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted July 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 lol im in the south but from the north i was asked one day what i was wearing to go out that nit i just said a top an pants, well the look i got, : are you wearing nothing els: like what : well are you not weating trousers ffs pants are trousers to me but pants to them are nickers lol as if i'd go out in just a top an my nickers ? LMAO!! I call trousers pants as well - might have to watch what i say from now on though lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shedalot Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Being from the US, this thread has some nicely added humor. Sarah, I loved that. I have never seen it quite like that before. I've seen similar examples, but that was great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smithy Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 , chips and gravy is also frowned upon the further down south you go as well lol When we first came oop north we were surprised when in a chippie someone asked for wait for it... chips, CHEESE and gravy :eek::eek::eek:quite a delicacy up here . Another thing why do we have a Pair of trousers (o.k. 2 legs) a pair of shorts (2 legs again) a pair of gloves (again 2) but not a pair of shirts, 2 ARMS??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shedalot Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 When we first came oop north we were surprised when in a chippie someone asked for wait for it... chips, CHEESE and gravy :eek::eek::eek:quite a delicacy up here . Another thing why do we have a Pair of trousers (o.k. 2 legs) a pair of shorts (2 legs again) a pair of gloves (again 2) but not a pair of shirts, 2 ARMS??? Good point. I also wonder why we have a pair of scissors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted July 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Chips n cheese mmmmm - with mayo - MMMMMMMMMMMMMM lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smithy Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 .................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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