sutsibe Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 While I love this forum and the people on it, there is one thing that I see from time to time that really disappoints and even annoys me. For the most part, the Husky family found here is loving and supportive - and that is a truly wonderful thing! From time to time, however, I see a different side of some in my Husky-loving family, that is rather harsh and judgmental; quick to take offense and think the worst of someone - and tell them so, very harshly. Please, before you fly off the handle with a quick post in this vein, do as I’m doing here... Go off line for a time, compose an answer and think about what you want to say and what message you really want to get across to the person you’re “speaking†to. Put yourself in their place, and think how you would feel getting the reply you’re giving - and how you would react. If the answer is that your reply would be helpful and useful, rather than merely hurting the person’s feelings while giving no real help, go back after reflecting on it for a time and post it. Taking that time to think and reflect - and feel! - might change the answer you would give. If you’ve never made a mistake, done something impulsive or foolish that you might wish you could go back and do over, by all means, have your say! Otherwise, realize that while one finger points at the OP, the rest are pointing back at you... Be constructive - build up, rather than tear down - that’s what makes Husky Owners the wonderful place that it is! Before stirring the pot and going on the attack, find out the facts and be sure of what should best be said. Once something has been done - either an action the other person has done or something we have said - it cannot be taken back. Don’t rush to judgement - you can’t possibly know what the other person had in mind or heart when they did what they did. (Obviously, some heinous act like murder or true abuse is rather different!) That said, deal with what IS at the moment, not what WOULD HAVE been best; go from there and help the OP make the best of their current situation, please! I too struggle with saying what’s constructive, rather than what will make ME feel better when I’m upset or angry. After too many years of either bursting out with the first thing that comes to mind or holding my anger back completely, I’m finally learning to master my tongue. I’ve been hurt by hasty words others have said in the past, and have been embarrassed by hasty words I’ve said, but I’m trying, and I challenge you, my Husky Family, to do so as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 my grandad always said " a liar is worse than a thief, because the thief can always be caught and a liar can't always be caught" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebe03 Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Well said Gigi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 well said gigi - agree with you completely - ive been guilty of it before but i think im managing quite well lately hopefully others will be able 2 do the same - ive said before in a post n will re mention it here - when something is getting you upset/angry and your typing a reply - just think before u click the post reply button n maybe click the red X instead - you've vented it all out now think if its actually worth posting - who is it helping - them? no please re-think before you post ETA: theres always 2 sides to every story - maybe before we all jump to conclusions or jump on the band wagon we should wait to hear both sides . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aronoiiel Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Well said Gigi. I'm guilty of one or the other at least once a day but in that I'm learning ever so slowly to keep my tongue under control. I tend to type several things, read them, then delete them and retype again until I figure out how to say something without sounding to much like an idiot. Sometimes I just don't add to anything cause I can't do it without sounding harsh or not figuring out how to get my point across. Even if you feel you want to add to a post sometimes it's a good idea to hang back and see what other's come up with and then put together your two cents if you really feel you must. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest noushka Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 omg my Grandad alway use to say that aswell Gigi....and its so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 omg my Grandad alway use to say that aswell Gigi....and its so true. do you mean me lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest noushka Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 do you mean me lol oh i dont know lol...was it you who said that about their Grandad?...im still finding my way around the forum :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 oh i dont know lol...was it you who said that about their Grandad?...im still finding my way around the forum :/ yeah it was lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest noushka Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 yes i did mean you Storm@Angels Mum, sorry for the mix up, i think my eyes are painted on tonight lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid_Wolf Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Noush!!! (sid&kira btw ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazz Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Gigi, well stated. I often find myself completely deleted what I intended to post in reply and often simply not replying, because what I've written would be non-supportive, non-helpful, possibly vindictive, raise my ego to a higher level at the expense of someone else, or cause unnecessary issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 my grandad always said " a liar is worse than a thief, because the thief can always be caught and a liar can't always be caught" I was always taught when you jump to conclusions you make an arse out of the other person along with yourself .... But hey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 I was always taught when you jump to conclusions you make an arse out of the other person along with yourself .... But hey. depends on what you know really Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 depends on what you know really No, it depends 'if' you know or just assume you do ............ Ever heard of the game chinese whispers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest noushka Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Noush!!! (sid&kira btw ) aw ello you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyMom09 Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Great post Sutsibe! I have not dealt with this kind of problem here, but I know it lurks in forums everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacca_&_me Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 The important thing is not wether someone is harsh or judemental, but that if they are...what they do next. love and friendship would be easier if it were happy-slappy all the time....but well, I say dont worry too much if you know you are cared about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest noushka Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 i dont listen to chinese whispers meself, i go on facts ; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowpups Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 i agree gigi now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 i agree gigi now argh big siggy! lol but woop beer YAY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyshqa Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sutsibe Posted January 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Glad the situation has become amusing to people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Never go to sleep angry, life is too short and good laughter, family and friendship are priceless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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