persephona Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Wow, everyday I read stuff on Yahoo that baffles me. http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/is-smacking-children-allowed.html I didn't even had any idea that smacking your children is not allowed in several countries in Europe! It's supposed to be banned here as well, but I have never heard many discussions on this topic. I remember that when my parents were in school, they did receive smacks as punishment; for what it's worth, it used to be the same in the UK and probably other countries in Europe. But is it really fair to fine parents for smacking their children? Or accuse them of child cruelty? Imagine to have social services alerted because someone saw you smack your child in public! (I don't believe that this is very likely, but if it were illegal, it would be a possibility, wouldn't it?) I don't think any child should ever be beaten or abused in any way, but in some respects, laws can be absurd. I don't think I would smack my own children to discipline them, but this law does limit the freedom of parents. Furthermore, all the adults that I know and have been smacked in school don't seem to have been traumatised by this in any way. Is it really alright to go that far in limiting what parents can do? In fact, Britain is one of the few countries in the world not to have completely banned smacking – something the Council of Europe recently denounced, insisting all corporal punishment should be outlawed. While Austria, Germany, Romania, New Zealand, Denmark, Finland, Greece, Portugal, Iceland and Spain are among the countries that have ruled smacking to be unlawful, the UK, Belgium, France, Russia and Turkey have not. So amid the confusion, and setting aside all arguments for and against, where exactly does the UK stand on the issue? Currently, the law prohibits the use of force against children but it leaves room for adults in the home to administer, in effect, a light and occasional smack. An amendment to the Children’s Act in 2004, introduced by Tony Blair’s Labour government, allowed striking children so long as it leaves only temporary “reddening of the skinâ€Â. It removed the defence of “reasonable chastisement†in cases where “actual†or “grievous†bodily harm were occasioned (ie any bruising, swelling, cuts, grazes or scratches) but left the door open for “reasonable punishment†where the injury is “transient and triflingâ€Â. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 I've never been smacked as a child for punishment, but I know if I was then I'd be traumatized. My brother used to hit me all the time and/or scare me (out of play! But still...) when we were kids and now I'm paranoid that whenever he comes near me he'll scare me or smack me. I know that's silly as it was just out of play but...its a psychological thing. My parents just sent me on a time-out or just took away privileges that they know I would miss. I remember being stuck playing Lego for hours cause my computer privileges were taken away! I turned out fine; I'm not a brat because I wasn't spanked as a child. I respect my parents and I listen to them. Just my 2 cents. But yeah, that law is absurd! Although, at the same time, I think it's only saying you can't beat your kid to the point of bruises and cuts...but you can lightly smack them as punishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser09 Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 it won't stop the abusers who will carry on regardless and who do far more damage than a parent giving a child a light smack to stop them doing something at that particular moment. I haven't had to smack mine ( and it's too late now they are both taller than me), but I am sure the kind of smack that is in question wouldn't have done them any real harm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 i got a smack on the legs once - n only once - when i was really bad n went behind my parents backs despite being told no - it never effected me at all i have 3 brothers too - n we all fought each other - i still occasionally mess around with my younger brothers again its never effected us negitively i suppose if a child is being smacked for every little thing then it would probably be different but i honestly dont think a swift smack to the back of the legs is a bad thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roper1982 Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 I got smacked as a child by my father if i did something wrong... and if it was really bad, i knew the slipper would come out... It didnt effect me though, I look back and think, "Ye, I probably deserved it TBH"... And now a days me and my father probbaly have a much stronger relationship than my mother (not saying it was because of being pnished, just pointing out that it hadnt effected my relationship with him etc) Its one of those topics where everyone has there own opinion on it and I dont think the opinion will really ever change and is a subject than can easily cause arguments between people though, as there is always that "line" and different people place the line in different places of what is classed as too much... Unfortunatly, some people fail to distinguish the line between disciplining a child and beating a child Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams Teeko and Keeta Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Some of em deserve a good slap! lol! On a serious note....kids are too cocky these days and will push and push, always holding the argument of 'What you gonna do about it?!' I got a smack if I was naughty....made me think twice about being a git! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissu & Aara Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 My mom spanked me. But I was a very stubborn child. No matter how hard she would spank me, it wouldn't work. I don't think smacking is the solution. And I honestly would be alarmed to see it in public. Kids are brats this day and age mainly because of technology and being spoiled. Really want to punish your kid? Take away his DS and PS3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenwolf Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Presented without comment. TMLr5tOjF3A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 that guy is funny as hell lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MollynDiesel Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 Some of em deserve a good slap! lol! On a serious note....kids are too cocky these days and will push and push, always holding the argument of 'What you gonna do about it?!' I got a smack if I was naughty....made me think twice about being a git! Thats my answer! lol They ban smacking, look what happens... Although me and my sisters were always smacked if we did something bad when we were little and im still a cocky know it all! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arooroomom Posted January 30, 2012 Report Share Posted January 30, 2012 My parents smacked, sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't register. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kechara Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 Laws like this are really silly imo. Yeah, child abuse is bad, but as someone stated already, a law isn't going to stop an abusive parent. It's going to make the good parents handle their kids like fragile glass pieces out of fear of getting blamed/punished for abuse. I mean really, kids beat the crap out of themselves just by playing around. All it takes is some overly concerned teacher to report the kid has cuts/bruises and then the whole family is in a huge mess. As for the whole punishment discussion, I think the effectiveness of anything varies per kid... My mother always tried the non-physical approaches - taking my ps3/computer away or trying to reward me computer time for chores. It never worked. I just became depressed and slept all day instead, making me do even worse in school and such. I think that depression affected me just as much as getting physical smacks or angrily toned scolding from my father (he was seriously scary). I still have some very low days as well as the fear of making people angry. I'm not really sure what would have worked better for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenwolf Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 Mostly punishments like spanking work on the humiliation factor rather than the pain. That and - at least in my family - the fear of the ritualized punishment to come. See, my parents didn't just grab us and spank us. They warned us it was coming. They counted to 3. Dad would take off his belt, or mom would pull out the Spatula. We'd get bent, screaming, crying and struggling, over their knee. The worst was waiting for the first smack. In retrospect we were never hit hard, but it stung enough to remember! And we had to really push them to the breaking point to warrant that kind of punishment. I think growing up I got spanked maaaybe 3 times. That was all I needed because after that the threat was enough. And honestly, I see nothing wrong with it. Are there possibly better ways to handle a situation? Probably. But we knew if they threatened a spanking that we were really misbehaving, and in order to avoid said punishment we would behave. Maybe these days you can threaten to take the tv out of a kid's room, I guess? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissu & Aara Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 My mom would count to 5 and give warnings between each number. All it did was make me want to finish whatever it was I was about to get in trouble for, over with. She'd say "1", and then I'd start rushing. When she got to 5, she'd spank me pretty hard, depending on what it was. The last time she spanked me was over an outfit I was hell bent on wearing. I was 6. I wanted to wear an outfit that didn't fit me and made me look like a little tramp. My mom told me to change. I told her no. She told me to change a few more times. I told her no again. Then I tried to get in the car, but she pulled me out. She started counting, but I stood there looking at her like >:[ , then she got to 5 and gave me a few good swats and then told me to change. I told her "no" again. Then she swatted me harder. She felt like if she spanked any harder it would be abuse, and that I still would have said no. So she gave up and let me go to my first day of 1st grade looking like a little tramp. And the whole day she was thinking of new ways to punish me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosemary Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 My father was the one who stepped in when any smacks were handed out, he was 6'2 and Huge (no fat), to make it worse, he had a voice that seemed to bellow and bounce off the walls when he was cross We were four children who, at times, got carried away, and my poor mom would be at her wits end. When she couldn't cope or get us to listen, she would get us to sit on the floor against the wall and wait for my father to get home from work, sometimes we waited for over an hour. Those were the worst hours of our lives - the anticipation was awful. By the time my father got home we were a mess and burst into tears as soon as we saw him. He later told us he was more upset, by the sight of us all sitting on the floor crying, than we were. It broke his heart, so my mom had to phone and warn him that we were waiting for him so that he could prepare/compose himself. My poor Dad - he is a wonderful man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sian_lea Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 Personally I don't smack I use time outs as it makes them think of what they did wrong and the consequences of their actions (I did this therefore I don't get/do this now im sat on my own). Also will embarass them as they get older so does the job, I was smacked occasionally as a child if i pushed it too far and i'm fine,I think different methods work for different kids. Thinking back if I knew i'd done something wrong i hoped i got a quick smack rather than take something away for a week because in the long run it was worse. Just my opinion but like all things with smacking there will always be some parents that take it too far, thats when it's not ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin1981 Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 i got a smack when i was young and so did my sister it never did us any harm, and some children these days are just too damn unruly, i once saw a kid of probably 12 try to start a street fight with an old man, and if he had hit the old fellow, i would have smacked that little s**ts arse black and blue. so i say if they dont respect you and other punishments dont work smack em . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Tao&Sky Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 I was brought up in the 1940s and for some reason my elder brother was sent to my Grandmother who brought him up. I wasn't told he was my brother until he was 12 years old when my gran died. I was beat by my dad with his army belt until I was black and blue for the least little thing. My mother was only tiny but she would lay into me with a copper stick or a poker across my back. My aunt my dads sister used to take out of the bad environment to stay with her, but I was always brought back home to be beaten and abused. One day my aunt suggested that she adopts me. My mother then had me put into care all because I tried to give her a hug for a bit of affection. She said that I had attacked her:jawdrop:. That is why I have never ever hit my two children for any reason and they have grown up to be respectful and honest to every one ............Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 I sometimes have to smack my eldest especially. hes almost 11, doesnt matter what I say or take away he still doesnt do as hes told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roper1982 Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 Mostly punishments like spanking work on the humiliation factor rather than the pain. The humiliation factor was used alot by my arents when I was younger... I always to this day remember one incident very vivdly, it wasnt hugely humiliating or anything, but made me realise that my dad would always deliver on his threat no matter what... We were in a cafe, i was about 5 years old, as my brother was still a tiny baby in my mams arms and i had a glass of coke... Being a kid i thought it was funny to blow down the straw and blow bubbles in the coke which was of course causing it to bubble and splash out of the glass... My dad warned me to stop it, and of course being cheeky i carried on... He warned me another twice yet i carried on, i still remember smiling away to myself as i did it thinking it was funny.. Then he warned me if i did it again that he would pour the whole drink over my head... My mother instantly remarked that if he did that she would hit him (my mother is a small woman, 4'11" and definatly not the physical type)... With a grin on my face, i sat there with my mouth around the straw for a good 2 minutes until i didnt think my dad was looking and blew very softly into the straw, but almost instantly my dad picked up the drink and made good on his threat and poured it over my head... Then my mother (the only time i have ever seen her be physical) stood up and gave my dad a right hook and walked out with me and my brother, leaving my dad there... I still to this day beliee my dad knew that my mother would follow through on what she said, but also he wasnt prepared to back down on the threat he had made to me... Fair to say after that, i never doubted that when my dad said he would do something, that he would, and almost the "threat" of a smack or the slipper was good enough rather than actually being slapped physically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams Teeko and Keeta Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 The humiliation factor was used alot by my arents when I was younger... I always to this day remember one incident very vivdly, it wasnt hugely humiliating or anything, but made me realise that my dad would always deliver on his threat no matter what... We were in a cafe, i was about 5 years old, as my brother was still a tiny baby in my mams arms and i had a glass of coke... Being a kid i thought it was funny to blow down the straw and blow bubbles in the coke which was of course causing it to bubble and splash out of the glass... My dad warned me to stop it, and of course being cheeky i carried on... He warned me another twice yet i carried on, i still remember smiling away to myself as i did it thinking it was funny.. Then he warned me if i did it again that he would pour the whole drink over my head... My mother instantly remarked that if he did that she would hit him (my mother is a small woman, 4'11" and definatly not the physical type)... With a grin on my face, i sat there with my mouth around the straw for a good 2 minutes until i didnt think my dad was looking and blew very softly into the straw, but almost instantly my dad picked up the drink and made good on his threat and poured it over my head... Then my mother (the only time i have ever seen her be physical) stood up and gave my dad a right hook and walked out with me and my brother, leaving my dad there... I still to this day beliee my dad knew that my mother would follow through on what she said, but also he wasnt prepared to back down on the threat he had made to me... Fair to say after that, i never doubted that when my dad said he would do something, that he would, and almost the "threat" of a smack or the slipper was good enough rather than actually being slapped physically. Hehe, sorry this made me laugh! My parents were the king and queen of humilation and did it for fun! (they admit to this). Most memorable....they told us we were going to a special shop to buy something new for the bathroom and it began with letter T and letter R. We guessed toilet something and my mam said proudly 'yes! A new toilet ring! But....we all have to have our bums measured so that we know what size to get'. True to form my little sister bent over and let them measure (not shy). My elder sister (about 13 at the time) huffed and stomped and yelled until they said if she didnt then she'd have to be measure in the shop. I laughed and then decided they were serious and eventually agreed amid alot of complaint. My mam measured my dad...my dad measured my mam and they both measured my baby brother. And off we went to the shop. She said that even though they'd measured our bums the lady might want to measure again. To this day my mam will say that shopping trip is the quietest we have ever been. We didnt dare move...or speak...we even held hands!! Turned out they were only buying a towel rail! It had all been for their entertainment only! And they wonder why i'm odd!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 i got smacked as a child and never did me any harm - tell you what though, made you think twice about doing anything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 i got smacked as a child and never did me any harm - tell you what though, made you think twice about doing anything! exactly. if I spoke to my mum the way my son speaks to me hed have a very sore ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Melsom Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 I got spankings when I was younger. I laugh about it now because my mom broke a plastic spoon over my brothers butt and it just sounds funny.. at the time tho it wasnt fun at all. I belive that it should be ok to give your kid a lil smack on the bum or something as long as your not abusing them or leaving marks. I look back and I can say that the way I was raised must have been good I was a little weird but I never got into drugs or drinking or partys or mischief with boys and I did all my school work and I graduated. I can see the difference as well because I have a 12yr old sister my mom never spanked her and shes doing terrible in school, she never listens, talks back and does what she wants. On her Christmas break she caught up on all her homework but when she got back to school she didnt want to hand it in because she did not want to look like a "goody two shoes" and my poor mom is so overwhelmed by it :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 great! Ban smacking and see what lies ahead =\ oh come on punishment ARE needed how else u show what's right and what's wrong? I'm not saying every time a kid does something wrong he/she needs to be smacked, but.. Sometimes a higher-degree punishment is needed =\ Kids will become less respectful to adults, and soon bullying problems would got worse. Few years later they'll become teenagers and then the governments would wonder why teenage delinquency is so hard to control -.- Laws >.> they never appear to be right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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