Sarah Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.' So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spooky. 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10) We do Not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.' 11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not say ' Eat me' 12) The Virgin Mary is not called ' Mary with the Cherry'. 13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valkyries Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 lol u crazy woman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Dawson Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 Hahahaha i like that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice and Cripton Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 LOL Where do you these from sngff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted August 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 T'internet or emails ppl send me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.