robke Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 You think English is easy?...this is a real eye opener!!! hope your pronunciation is good!! THIS IS GREAT!!! Read all the way to the end... This took someone a lot of work to put together!!! You think English is easy? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present . 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row . 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg ineggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take Englishfor granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, theyare visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ? You lovers of the English language might enjoy this . There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UPa report ? We call UP our friends.And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.At other times the little word has real special meaning.People stirUPtrouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UPis special. A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP.We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UPat night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP,look the word UP in the dictionary.In a desk-sized dictionary, it takesUPalmost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't giveUP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP... When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dryUP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap itUP, for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP! Now it'sUPto you what you do with this email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I KNEW it LOL English IS the hardest language in the whole wide world x) Chinese----which seem crazy at first----is actually easier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Loving it. I knew that middle part already as that was actually in my English textbook, lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AutumnAlicia Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Nice! I had to send this to my Nana. She and her hubby area lways talking about words and their use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjp75 Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Nicked lol love it. εїÃ· H εїÃ· Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onlythisgirl Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I am English and English is my first language and i'm still confused! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Povodny Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Don't you just love it lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted February 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Oh yes I love it and as Jos said part of it is in the English text book at Dutch schools I can remember it....ahem ahem it was a long time ago....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosemary Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winnie71 Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 lol, I remember when my son was about 6 he asked "Mum why when I talk about you are you, you. But when you talk about me I'm you" oh my days that was in interesting explanation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams Teeko and Keeta Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Lol this is fab! I always tell parents at parents evening that english is possibly the most ridiculous language on the planet so they really shouldn't worry that their five year old is writing 'skool' not 'school', 'shoo' not 'shoe' and 'hapee' instead of 'happy'. Some of the spellings are awesome when you ask kids to sound out the words. Won't tell you what we got last year when a child tried to write 'coconut'...needless to say, a few missing letters and some in the wrong order made for a very untersting sentence! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted February 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Lol this is fab! I always tell parents at parents evening that english is possibly the most ridiculous language on the planet so they really shouldn't worry that their five year old is writing 'skool' not 'school', 'shoo' not 'shoe' and 'hapee' instead of 'happy'. Some of the spellings are awesome when you ask kids to sound out the words. Won't tell you what we got last year when a child tried to write 'coconut'...needless to say, a few missing letters and some in the wrong order made for a very untersting sentence! HAHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Lol, brought a smile to my face Brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoya&EisasMom Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 ...great post! I've always been fascinated with the English language....it's the only language I know....except for a few choice(swear) words in German that I learned from my grandparents. I almost feel sorry for anybody that has to learn it. It is daunting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I always get a laugh when we're talking about languages and someone asks what I can speak fluently - my response is invariably "None!" Anyone who can claim to speak English fluently has never been on the other side of the language barrier! MyDiamond says that Chinese is easier than English and I can believe that - but I have problems with tonal languages, I densely can't hear the tones. In a year in VietNam I figured out that didi meand 'let's go' but beyond that - nada!! In my 2.5 years in Japan, I picked up enough of the language to easily get around and was often asked to help a Japanese native with his English. ( Oddly, Japanese is NOT a tonal language! ) Korean, on the other hand, which is supposedly closely related to Japanese makes less sense to me than English! Ah yes, languages can be such fun!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Genius. . . the English language whilst not as "romantic" or "lyrical" as Italian or Spanish. Can guarantee to confuse the hell out of everyone . . . . even those who grew up speaking / reading and writing it. . . . GOD help the rest of you. . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CourtJester Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 English is screwed up for using words over and over. Nothing comes close to Polish to learn though NOTHING lol... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boshka Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Great LMAO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 :doglaugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllyDee Posted February 22, 2012 Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 Haha, so very true. English is such a hard language to learn as a second language. Thank goodness I was raised speaking it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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