Hyshqa Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 I've had nothing but grief from my family tonight. We picked up my sister's new puppy this afternoon - the lab x GSD x boxer x doberman - he's 7 1/2 weeks old and a typical puppy. I've had issues with my family complaining about Freya's behaviour a lot this last week or so - they keep grabbing her face to stroke her and kiss her while she's fast asleep on the sofa and she growls at them, then snaps if they won't stop or if they do it again. Apparently this makes her 'aggressive' and 'unpredictable' and I've even had my dad's mates contacting me on facebook telling me I need to 'train my dog properly' because she's 'a danger to people'. Anyway, when the pup got here my two were shut in the living room so he could have 10 minute to settle down in the garden in peace. He was crying and looked pretty upset so I figured I may as well go and get my two out; I brought Freya out on a harness and lead and had Kiska behind me. Kiska greeted him first and he was super excited, pretty much from the moment he saw my two he calmed down and perked up. She's great with him; playing with him really gently and making sure not to step on him Freya on the other hand went right into her shell when she saw him - she greeted him harmlessly enough so I took her harness off, but she wouldn't go near him, had her ears pinned back like she was being told off, and went into a right strop for a few hours! She pooed in the house, and disappeared upstairs for ages, refusing to come near the puppy. When she finally did come down she was laid down on the sofa and he came up to her to play and she growled and barked at him - unfortunately she's very vicious looking with her barking, she's been with me for 2 months now so I know what this looks like and what it actually means, she doesn't mean any harm she's just loud and so fast! However my parents were there and my dad went waaay over the top, grabbed the puppy and snatched him away, saying Freya would have seriously hurt him if he hadn't moved him in time, and again that Freya was being aggressive. I'm just so sick of this - we've had a civil conversation about this tonight and both of my parents have admitted to over-reacting whenever anything like this happens because they don't know how to deal with situations like that and would be stuck if a fight broke out or someone got injured, and I even had my mum - who has been telling me Freya is aggressive - say to me that she cannot read dog behaviour; apparently if she were walking a dog she would freak out if any other dogs approach the dog she's walking. I asked her if she would be like that if she were to walk Kiska, who is absolutely brilliant with all other dogs, and she said yes because she's not able to read the behaviour of the approaching dog so she just freaks out, assuming the other dog IS aggressive. This made me really angry that she'd so brazenly tell me my dog is aggressive and then go on to admit that actually, she doesn't know anything about dog behaviour. I'm supposed to be going to Blackpool in a couple of weeks to see family, meet up with a uni friend in Preston, and then go across to Beverley to meet up with the rest of my uni friends for a few days of camping, but as I'd be going on the train (and doing a LOT of journey's in the 10 days I'd be gone) I can't take the dogs with me. Well, I could take Kiska, she'd be fine, but not Freya So now I'm nervous about leaving them in my parents' care for that length of time - I told them I would consider speaking to a friend locally to see if she could take them for the day and drop them back at night, just so they'd have less time to worry about her 'being aggressive' and I got lectured for it, with my dad telling me that everything would be fine in a couple of week and that everything was just unsettled because the puppy had only just gotten here, but this has been going on for longer than the puppy has been here I'm just so frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MollynDiesel Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 I feel your pain. I know quite a few people on here suffer with grief from their parents or parents in law its tough and i know id be nervous about leaving freya with your parents. But if you cant take her with you, you're kinda out of options. I hate leaving D with my family because they don't understand what he's like. They think he knows stay if the front door is open or if there is food he will leave it. So i always worry I'll come back home 1 dog short its a very tough problem But Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pupelvr Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 I gotta say the Freya is just showing who is the boss in the house. And if that means that she has to place the puppy, than that is what has to happen. Caroline is a bully when it comes to new puppies at the dog park. But what is crazy, once the puppy knows where they are placed they want to play with Caroline more. And Caroline plays amazing with them. Just like the Freya, Caroline sounds just like her. She growls and bickers every time she plays. She sounds viscous, but means no harm. Just take Freya to your parents house a day early. Allow them to work out their issues and hopefully by the time to leave for your trip they will know where each other stand. I am sorry things are so crazy now, but just reassure your parents that they need to figure out their place. Also, to make your parents feel better, make sure to leave a leash on Freya throughout the house and every time she acts up grab her by the leash and put her in a timeout place. I hope things go well for you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 seems like Freya needs some time to get socialized one on one with the puppy with out all the other people and dogs around, have you taken the time to do this? I would look into getting a friend to help while you are gone, as long as you don't think this will add more stress on Freya...being taken out of the house while you are gone. If the puppy thing doesn't get better, you could post on the behavior section to get some good advice from our forum. But I feel for you, I can't imagine dealing with my parents and dogs 24/7, as my parents use to throw a fit if I visited for the weekend about things like scratches on the floor and the hair and they could never get the concept of opening outside doors safely for a husky to not let her escape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 ANgel was like this at first. it took ages for her to settle and we realised she wasnt agressive at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Bings was the same with blaze took him a couple ov months 2 get used 2 him :-( hope ur parents realise she's not a bad dog just a nervous puppy Sent from my ST18i using Forum Runner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyshqa Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 I feel your pain. I know quite a few people on here suffer with grief from their parents or parents in law its tough and i know id be nervous about leaving freya with your parents. But if you cant take her with you, you're kinda out of options. I hate leaving D with my family because they don't understand what he's like. They think he knows stay if the front door is open or if there is food he will leave it. So i always worry I'll come back home 1 dog short its a very tough problem But My parents are actually ok with things like that - they know not to leave doors open, things on the floor that Freya could eat, etc. But that's only because it's more about dog care than dog behaviour, they're ok with that side of things I gotta say the Freya is just showing who is the boss in the house. And if that means that she has to place the puppy, than that is what has to happen. Caroline is a bully when it comes to new puppies at the dog park. But what is crazy, once the puppy knows where they are placed they want to play with Caroline more. And Caroline plays amazing with them. Just like the Freya, Caroline sounds just like her. She growls and bickers every time she plays. She sounds viscous, but means no harm. Just take Freya to your parents house a day early. Allow them to work out their issues and hopefully by the time to leave for your trip they will know where each other stand. I am sorry things are so crazy now, but just reassure your parents that they need to figure out their place. Also, to make your parents feel better, make sure to leave a leash on Freya throughout the house and every time she acts up grab her by the leash and put her in a timeout place. I hope things go well for you!! Freya isn't letting anyone know she's 'boss' because she isn't, I don't agree with the whole pack mentality thing She just knows what she does and doesn't like and is happy to let whoever know about it, i.e. if she doesn't want to be fussed she'll growl, if she doesn't want to have her tail chewed she'll growl, etc. She's not doing it because she wants to show the person or dog she's 'in charge', she's just trying to say that she won't tolerate such things. She's much better with the puppy today - I live with my parents, so since I got up this morning she's had a chance to socialise with him and she was actually trying to play with him too (she's just so loud when she does so he was a bit put off!). They're currently asleep next to each other on the sofa seems like Freya needs some time to get socialized one on one with the puppy with out all the other people and dogs around, have you taken the time to do this? I would look into getting a friend to help while you are gone, as long as you don't think this will add more stress on Freya...being taken out of the house while you are gone. If the puppy thing doesn't get better, you could post on the behavior section to get some good advice from our forum. But I feel for you, I can't imagine dealing with my parents and dogs 24/7, as my parents use to throw a fit if I visited for the weekend about things like scratches on the floor and the hair and they could never get the concept of opening outside doors safely for a husky to not let her escape. I'm fine with the behaviour side of things, I've just completed an animal behaviour and training degree at university so I've got a good grasp on what I'm doing It's convincing my parents that this is all normal that's the difficult thing right now; they are not making this easy! They've had some one on one time today - this wasn't possible yesterday after he first got here because he was still settling in and she was still having a tantrum upstairs I think my parents are also forgetting how old she is - she's only a 7 month old puppy herself, she's still growing up, no doubt getting a bit hormonal, and I only moved back home with my parents a couple of weeks ago so she's still settling in here herself. I think she's doing amazing personally, but i need to convince my parents to have the same view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Is your sister going to take the puppy to obedience classes? They recommend that all family members go and could help teach your parents what is normal (I know you're more than capable of doing this but as you're their daughter they may struggle to see past that. Sometimes a neutral outsider can get through better). But that's IF you can get them to agree to attend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleLuka Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 i understand how you feel. i get grief about Luka's behavior from my mother already and he's only 4 months old! Sorry that his personality is completely different from her lab who i seem to remember acted WILD before he went to a trainers for 3 months!!! I plan on taking Luka to obedience class just to work on some basic commands. We're already working on basic training skills but he needs more training on not jumping on people and other things. Luka will bark at you when you tell him something, he eventually will do it but he's a husky what do you expect? My parents know nothing about the breed so it doesn't surprise me. Don't stress it, you seem to be managing Freya perfectly fine and i'm sure she will be fine in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Poor Freya, I hadn't realized she was so young and this was a new place of residence for her too....wow she's got a lot happening for her.... your parents should have some sympathy for what is happening to her world! Much love to Freya Don't you hate it when you actually have a degree/cert in something and your family cannot respect your knowledge! I had similar issues with my knowledge in the field of children and my family not giving me the time a day to help in situations, or even take my advice seriously. again, big hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyshqa Posted July 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Things are kicking off again tonight because Freya has continued barking at the puppy this evening - my family are only seeing this and NOT the fact that they have been playing happily together all day!! I'm going to get her a muzzle, they'll have NOTHING to complain about then as they are just petrified that she's going to hurt the puppy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizadora Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 neither dog is gonna learn anything from one another if they're kept seperate and or muzzled all the time, they have got to interact to get used to each other. :S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austinville Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Well, much as I hate to say it, perhaps right now isn't the best time for you to go away. But then again, you say it isn't for a couple of weeks yet, so perhaps Freya will adjust in that time. Fingers crossed for you. Given time, the whole situation will work itself out. A new home for Freya and then the puppy coming is probably more than she can handle right now. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyshqa Posted July 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 neither dog is gonna learn anything from one another if they're kept seperate and or muzzled all the time, they have got to interact to get used to each other. :S That is EXACTLY what I want to do, but my parents are going to send me into a breakdown before the dogs make any progress - this is to shut them up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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