just disappointed and angry

[LittleLuka]

so this is probably about to sound really conceited of me but i don't mean it to come across that way.

i have a really good office job that i love and have worked at for three years. it pays my bills and i like the challenge of the work i do.

however, for extra money (my shoe obsession and whatever else) i wait tables at a local restaurant/bar. at first, i worked there up to 5-6 days per week and i just realized it was exhausting and the money wasn't really that great except for the weekends so i cut down to a couple of days per week.

I've been talking to the assistant manager for awhile now about moving up to the bartender position when someone leaves or we need another one. She said i was the next person to be moved because i've worked there a year and i work HARD. (i'm not complimenting myself i just really do try to work as hard as i can). Well my roommate has been bartending there for a little over a year and is now currently leaving.

What happens? The manager moves up a guy who has barely worked there 6 months and is LAZY! needless to say i'm mad. I don't mean to feel sorry for myself because i know i could have it much worse but it's not fair that someone who has no seniority gets moved up. So honestly, i don't really "need" the money right now and i'm just about to put in my 2 weeks notice and leave. is this overdramatic? i've just come to terms with the fact that i will never be moved up and i'd rather go wait tables somewhere else where i might have that opportunity one day.

i just can't bare to say there i don't think. opinions?

[Removed #5]

While you don't say, let me suggest something .... they promoted a fellow who's been there six months < full time? > while you've cut your hours from 5-6 days back to a couple? Looking at it from their viewpoint, would you rather have someone who is there all the time, even if he isn't the best or someone who's already indicated that *this* all that she wants?

Do I understand your feeling - definitely! But I also understand where they're coming from as well. before I were to give my notice, I'd go back for a talk with the asst manager and see if maybe this was why they did what they did. In the long run, would it be worth it to you to give them full time - over your office job? Ummmm ... I thought not. This is just a filler, so let well enough alone and let it be a filler.

[LittleLuka]

While you don't say, let me suggest something .... they promoted a fellow who's been there six months < full time? > while you've cut your hours from 5-6 days back to a couple? Looking at it from their viewpoint, would you rather have someone who is there all the time, even if he isn't the best or someone who's already indicated that *this* all that she wants?

Do I understand your feeling - definitely! But I also understand where they're coming from as well. before I were to give my notice, I'd go back for a talk with the asst manager and see if maybe this was why they did what they did. In the long run, would it be worth it to you to give them full time - over your office job? Ummmm ... I thought not. This is just a filler, so let well enough alone and let it be a filler.

he's not full time either. no one there is.it's a restaurant. only managers are full-time.

oh no, i would never quit my office job. this is a night-time position. excuse me for not mentioning that.

[Marc]

Thing that people generally dont realise about these jobs is its not about how hard you work. There are people who work hard all their lives, with all good intentions, however thats not a reason someone gets promoted. A manager will be picked due to their perceived ability to manage. If you want my honest opinion the very best thing that you can do is instead of being upset by it, learn by it. Go and ask why you were not considered for the job. However when you do it you need to ensure you do it in a clear consise manor and ensure that it is put across that you are asking as you feel it would help you to learn the things that people look for in a manager.

This sounds stupid, but its actually the best thing you can do. Look at it this way, you didnt get the job this time and there is nothing you can do about that. However this job may come up again in the future and you would IMO be noted for doing something like that. Also whatever they say, no matter whether it bothers you or not, swallow your pride and take it on board.

Remember this. If you want to become an accountant you have to learn how to be an accountant. If you want to be a software developer, again you have to learn how to be a software developer. In each of these areas you go to college etc and you learn by getting things wrong and people correcting you and you getting it right the next time. The same goes for management. If you want to learn how to get that job, the only way you can learn how to get it is to find out why you didnt get it (what you did wrong) and learn how its done correctly (so you can get it right next time). End of the day that information is invaluable to you regardless of whether you apply in the bar or in the office.

Dont see things as something negative. Pull something positive from it.

[Sparks]

Thing that people generally dont realise about these jobs is its not about how hard you work. There are people who work hard all their lives, with all good intentions, however thats not a reason someone gets promoted. A manager will be picked due to their perceived ability to manage. If you want my honest opinion the very best thing that you can do is instead of being upset by it, learn by it. Go and ask why you were not considered for the job. However when you do it you need to ensure you do it in a clear consise manor and ensure that it is put across that you are asking as you feel it would help you to learn the things that people look for in a manager.

This sounds stupid, but its actually the best thing you can do. Look at it this way, you didnt get the job this time and there is nothing you can do about that. However this job may come up again in the future and you would IMO be noted for doing something like that. Also whatever they say, no matter whether it bothers you or not, swallow your pride and take it on board.

Remember this. If you want to become an accountant you have to learn how to be an accountant. If you want to be a software developer, again you have to learn how to be a software developer. In each of these areas you go to college etc and you learn by getting things wrong and people correcting you and you getting it right the next time. The same goes for management. If you want to learn how to get that job, the only way you can learn how to get it is to find out why you didnt get it (what you did wrong) and learn how its done correctly (so you can get it right next time). End of the day that information is invaluable to you regardless of whether you apply in the bar or in the office.

Dont see things as something negative. Pull something positive from it.

Great Advice Marc!

[innocenti]

as hard as this may sound ... thats life i`m afraid.... those that work hardest dont always get the rewards .... not right i know .... same where i work .. the lazy ones get left alone whilst the harder working get more to do ... you would be obviously be missed being a hard worker in you position that the lazy guy .... its also weak management ..... not getting the guy to pull his weight ..

[persephona]

It sounds cynical, but it's never worth putting that much hard work into a job - not unless it's your own business!

Most of the time, it doesn't come down to the amount of hard work you put into a job, it's just up to who the managers like and feel will do a good job. Sometimes, they're not even right. I work in retail and some of the supervisors I've got, I don't understand why they have been given this job at all, as they're just not good at it! One of the people that have been recently promoted used to basically never spend an extra minute there after her shift was over, refused to do any cleaning at all (although we are all meant to do it) and that sort of thing, but she was still promoted. Whereas some of the people that had worked in the company for longer and were much more hard-working seemed to be completely overlooked.

Most of the time they're looking at management skills, but sometimes it's not even about that. They're also looking at things such as availability (i.e. if you're still studying, have another job, have kids etc.) I think it can be a bit of a gamble - in my opinion, if being promoted is important to you, you can try to find a position in another place. There are places there that will train you in a management position even with no experience at all if they feel you have the skills.

[lebe03]

IMO I would ask your manager why you weren't considered for the position and depending on their response make your decision regarding your future employment. I was overlooked for a position I thought I was perfect for so asked my manager about it and they explained what they were looking for which highlighted to me some areas that I needed to develop. Less than 12 months later I was promoted to a more senior position with a significant pay rise and I didn't even have to apply for it.

[LittleLuka]

great advice everyone. i actually didn't get to see these till today.

However, i tried to just calm down and forget about it and went in to work. The new bartender was there training but whatever. Anyways i wound up speaking to another assistant manager (he's worked there 5 years) to just discuss my frustrations. I explained to him that i was more disappointed that i wasn't even considered for the position when i feel like i work so hard and i'm reliable. He explained to me that they really just needed another guy bartender to help run things and that matt was the only choice. He told me not to quit and that they would be adding more bartenders very soon and that he thought i was perfect.

Anyways, later on last night our manager (also owner) was talking about how many people were upset that they hadn't been picked. He said that most of these people had been on the brink of being fired and why would he move them up? He then said and not one of them has even mentioned wanting to bartend to me! I figured I had nothing to lose so i just told him well i'd love to bartend, i've been wanting to. The only reason i haven't said anything to you directly is because i felt like i had to earn the right. He then told me that he knows i work hard, he never worries about me doing my job correctly, i always show up and usually early, and he trusts me completely with his business. He told me that we will speak in a couple of weeks and that he would have no problem letting me start training to bartend.

So moral of the story even though i didn't see it in time, [MENTION=1]Marc[/MENTION] your advice was great. from now on, i will always talk to the manager to see why i'm not being considered for a position. it may not always turn out like i want but at least i will know why.