Do I come across as helpless ?

[Rosemary]

Do I come across as useless, helpless, pathetic (no don't answer the last one )

A bit of background - I met my husband when I was 16. I am now 53 and we have been together all this time - and it has been great - I sincerely mean that, I love him dearly.

A year before we got married, I paid a deposit on a flat and was determined to be independent for at least one year before I got married. My (over protective ) father threw a fit and between him and my then fiance they persuaded me to stay at home to "save money" for our new home. I gave in to them.

Since being married, my husband has done everything for me, every time I want to do something he first decides if it is 'safe'. He wouldn't let me get my own Harley because he was worried I would crash. He has never encouraged me to drive because he says I would get lost - I have a 'directional problem' - I have accepted all these things.

But I am tired of being wrapped in bubble wrap.

I bought a scroll saw for the studio, and he only wants me to use it if he is home (probably wants to stand behind me) - I refused, and use it along with my other power tools - he can't exactly lock me out of the studio while he is at work.

But .............. this is what has upset me. I want to solder a stained glass piece I am busy on and don't want to wait for him to do it tonight. He does the soldering because of my asthma. I understand his concern, but I am a grown woman and will take the necessary precautions - I have an extractor fan in the studio, a fan I can put behind me to blow any stray fumes out of the window. I also have my medication and my nebuliser set up.

I go to get the soldering iron and its not there - it is probably in his workshop (I have been talking about doing some soldering for a while now) I look for the spare, and it doesn't have a plug on

Phew ............ I am really cross. He had better have a bloody good excuse when he gets home for lunch.

Sorry - no one else to tell - my family tend to side with him. I just feel so useless

I am probably going to feel really embarrassed about posting this - later .........

[davidjk]

i can understand why you would be upset. maybe you can talk him into letting you doing 1 simple thing without him then progress from there.

and if he agrees be very careful and don't hurt yourself.

i do not let my wife use power tools, in my defense though last time she used a jig saw she cut through 1/2 her finger. and she seriously wonders why i wont let her use a circular saw.

and no you do not come across as any of those things you seem like a very nice lady.

[Emma]

Your husband sounds like he truly adores you, why else would he be so afraid of something happening to you. I can understand why you're feeling frustrated though. It sounds like you're being a little smothered with love. It might be time to put your foot down and tell him exactly how you're feeling and as op said above me try to reach a compromise and take little steps forwards.

[Andy]

Oh, Rosemary.

First learn to wire a plug. Then if he takes the plug off you can put it back on.

If he's scared that you might inadvertantly hurt yourself ask him for lessons in the use of the equipment until he's happy

you have gained sufficient skill to use it unnassisted.

everyone has to do something for the first time.

Lots of things in life are dangerous and just we have to do with our kids

eventually you have to let them have a go.

and so must your husband.

He has to understand that you WILL be careful and take all possible precautions.

Tell him you can't cook his dinner any longer because you don't feel safe using that hot dangerous cooker without supervision.

You can't cut the bread or carve the meat or chop the vegetables because those darn knives are so sharp.

maybe then he'll see that you do lots of things on a daily basis that COULD be considered dangerous but he never gives it a second thought.

[Dunc]

You know what jumped out of your post ? I look for the spare, and it doesn't have a plug on am sorry why would that stop you ? If your answer is I don't know how to put a plug on maybe your husband is right

Let me think would I let Sue ???????

Ride a Harley not a chance I don't think she would let me either.

Use my tools NO she puts nowt back and it bugs the s.. outta me + plus some of them frighten her so she would not anyway.

Now get back in the kitchen and make like a woman

[Andy]

You know what jumped out of your post ? I look for the spare, and it doesn't have a plug on am sorry why would that stop you ? If your answer is I don't know how to put a plug on maybe your husband is right

Let me think would I let Sue ???????

Ride a Harley not a chance I don't think she would let me either.

Use my tools NO she puts nowt back and it bugs the s.. outta me + plus some of them frighten her so she would not anyway.

Now get back in the kitchen and make like a woman

LMAO Dunc.

good job she's 8695 miles away coz I reckon she might throw summink at ya !!!

[Dunc]

LMAO Dunc.

good job she's 8695 miles away coz I reckon she might throw summink at ya !!!

I got my safety hat on

[Rosemary]

You know what jumped out of your post ? I look for the spare, and it doesn't have a plug on am sorry why would that stop you ? If your answer is I don't know how to put a plug on maybe your husband is right

Let me think would I let Sue ???????

Ride a Harley not a chance I don't think she would let me either.

Use my tools NO she puts nowt back and it bugs the s.. outta me + plus some of them frighten her so she would not anyway.

Now get back in the kitchen and make like a woman

I'll have you know I can put a plug on but only a three point plug. The spare soldering iron is a two point plug which fits into my temperature control unit, and there isn't a spare one in the house - I was thinking of taking the one off his shaver though lol.

And yes, I am due in the kitchen - I have to make lunch for my dear husband

@Andy and @davidjk and [MENTION=6386]emma1979[/MENTION], you are right, I will speak to him and work with him until he is comfortable leaving me to do it on my own - crazy I know baby steps and all that ...........

I'll post a photo later of the cross I made on the scroll saw - he was suitably impressed when he got home yesterday and I still had all my fingers

Edited November 28, 2012 by Rosemary

[Dunc]

Your scary..............

[Rosemary]

My wooden cross with a stained glass cross inside. I made the cross on the scroll saw out of a piece of yellow wood. There are no joins, the inside cross was quite a mission to cut out, but not as bad as trying to get the edges neat and tidy - that is why I asked Santa for a router attachment for my Dremel I obviously still have a LOT to learn about woodwork lol, but it is fun.

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

My wooden cross with a stained glass cross inside. I made the cross on the scroll saw out of a piece of yellow wood. There are no joins, the inside cross was quite a mission to cut out, but not as bad as trying to get the edges neat and tidy - that is why I asked Santa for a router attachment for my Dremel I obviously still have a LOT to learn about woodwork lol, but it is fun.

<img src="http://www.husky-owners.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=65056"/>

That is lovely

Sent from my ST18i using Forum Runner

[Emma]

My wooden cross with a stained glass cross inside. I made the cross on the scroll saw out of a piece of yellow wood. There are no joins, the inside cross was quite a mission to cut out, but not as bad as trying to get the edges neat and tidy - that is why I asked Santa for a router attachment for my Dremel I obviously still have a LOT to learn about woodwork lol, but it is fun.

<img src="http://www.husky-owners.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=65056"/>

That is stunning! Must of been hard work trying to match the colours and pattern throughout, or is it one solid sheet of glass?

[Andy]

My wooden cross with a stained glass cross inside. I made the cross on the scroll saw out of a piece of yellow wood. There are no joins, the inside cross was quite a mission to cut out, but not as bad as trying to get the edges neat and tidy - that is why I asked Santa for a router attachment for my Dremel I obviously still have a LOT to learn about woodwork lol, but it is fun.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]65056[/ATTACH]

Very nice Rosemary.

Did you mount the glass behind the wood or sandwich it between two "crosses" ??

[Rosemary]

That is stunning! Must of been hard work trying to match the colours and pattern throughout, or is it one solid sheet of glass?

it is one sheet of glass, but to cut something like that would waste the glass around it, so I cut it in strips and matched as best I can. Because it is just a test I wasn't too worried about the glass flowing 100%

Very nice Rosemary.

Did you mount the glass behind the wood or sandwich it between two "crosses" ??

Andy, this one is mounted behind in a groove I cut into the wood so that the glass is flush with the wood. In future I would like to cut the cross (or whatever) and then slice it into two identical pieces so that it is sandwiched between two wooden crosses. As it is now, the back side is not exactly pleasing to the eye

Edited November 28, 2012 by Rosemary

[Storm Angel n Auroras Mum]

I dont know how to use powertools i dont even touch a drill.

I can use hammers, nails, screwdrivers and screws

we have an understanding, I dont use his tools and he doesnt use my laptop he is useless at computers lol and I dont want him mucking up my laptop

[Dunc]

My wooden cross with a stained glass cross inside. I made the cross on the scroll saw out of a piece of yellow wood. There are no joins, the inside cross was quite a mission to cut out, but not as bad as trying to get the edges neat and tidy - that is why I asked Santa for a router attachment for my Dremel I obviously still have a LOT to learn about woodwork lol, but it is fun.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]65056[/ATTACH]

Clever bugger

[Stormy]

[MENTION=7]Dunc[/MENTION] YOU get in the kitchen!

[Dunc]

@Dunc YOU get in the kitchen!

You know me am always in there cooking love it

[Stormy]

You know me am always in there cooking love it

This is very true ... lol

[Andy]

@Dunc YOU get in the kitchen!

LOL having tasted his homemade chili, dunc is quite at home in the kitchen.

Let alone the MANY breakfasts that he has masterminded at camp.

[Rosemary]

We have come to a great compromise. I will be doing the small solder jobs, like crosses and sun-catchers which take about 30 minutes to an hour to do - as long as I follow the rules/safety guidelines. Monty will be doing the large panels and windows, which take anything from 6 to 15 hours or more, to solder - I am happy with that, I would actually really hate spending so much time soldering

I have already started soldering and it is going well, I have four crosses waiting to be soldered - I will post some pics when they are finished, they are very nice

All's well that ends well

Thanks for listening to me moan

[Andy]

All's well that ends well

Thanks for listening to me moan

S'what we're here for.

[Stormy]

You are a lovely person Rosemary I truly wish i was as lovely and nice as you

[davidjk]

We have come to a great compromise. I will be doing the small solder jobs, like crosses and sun-catchers which take about 30 minutes to an hour to do - as long as I follow the rules/safety guidelines. Monty will be doing the large panels and windows, which take anything from 6 to 15 hours or more, to solder - I am happy with that, I would actually really hate spending so much time soldering

I have already started soldering and it is going well, I have four crosses waiting to be soldered - I will post some pics when they are finished, they are very nice

All's well that ends well

Thanks for listening to me moan

fantastic news

[Removed #5]

I bought a scroll saw for the studio, and he only wants me to use it if he is home (probably wants to stand behind me)

I've never been displeased to find myself standing behind a lovely lady; and none have ever told me that they were displeased to have me behind them. Maybe your husband (or you ??? ) have ulterior motives?? << ducking!!! >>

I do like your work, [MENTION=1262]Rosemary[/MENTION], too bad you're so far away and international mail is so expensive!!!