Anxiety Much?

[Smokey]

I've been having really bad anxiety lately. I'm happy to say that a lot of my depression is under control with my new meds but I haven't been able to shake the constant feeling that something 'bad' is going to happen. A lot of it comes from my pets and lately Zeeva's been driving me nuts because she won't listen when I ask her to come inside; she simply loves to dig in the snow and my husband threw kibble out there for her which she loves to sniff/dig up and eat. Nothing is more interesting to her than sniffing out one minuscule tid-bit; not even cheese or treats. It can literally take me 20 minutes (not including the time I let her run free to do her business and play which probably totals to 40 minutes) to get her to come inside :'c. I've to grab her collar to bring her in and now she runs away from me as if playing chase. I let her play outside while I watched from inside but this makes my anxiety increases because...I don't even know why.

 

And this silly nagging feeling that we are going to be homeless at some point because of all the cats that I have. I know I've discussed this before but I can go weeks without thinking about it and then weeks where it scares the living bujeezes out of me :'c. My cats are fine. We're managing them well. I haven't had any problems with my landlord. No one has asked to come over. Nothing needs fixing. Even if we were to get kicked out I know we'd be able to find housing fairly quickly...and yet this feeling lingers like a dark cloud. 

 

I know that if I stay busy, even doing chores like shoveling the snow or fun things like walking the dogs (I've slipped and fallen recently :c), I'm fine. But down time comes, especially at night when I'm alone with the pets, and my anxiety peaks to the point of where I start hyperventilating (paper bag medication required). It's so silly and yet so real. The generic statement my head knows all is fine but my heart won't let me rest comes to mind...

 

Does anyone else deal with anxiety especially anxiety over little things or literally for no reason at all?

[Povodny]

I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. But I think your anxiety about zeeva not responding to you is based on control and your feeling that its slipping away from you. You've had really well behaved dogs before and now they're pushing the boundaries. Try not to stress about zeeva not wanting to come in when you call. Leave her longer. She's never experienced snow where you were living before, its a novelty and will eventually wear off. As long as the garden is secure and you can keep an eye on what's going on it'll be fine. You're probably anxious about zeeva being outside because there are 'what if's' going on in the back of your brain you're not really aware of but are affecting how you feel.

The nagging feeling is there because you're a good person and feel bad you have cats there that technically aren't allowed. It leaves you on edge because your sense of morality tells you you are doing something wrong. Technically you're going against your landlord agreement. But you're prepared for the worst should it happen so try to get your head round the fact what you're doing is bending the rules not breaking them. You're not a bad person, you're a caring considerate sensitive person.

Being alone at night is very isolating. It's dark, the world shrinks and its just you and your pets. You've had a huge upheaval. You're still adjusting to a strange city, house, neighbours and having to do that mainly on your own as the person closest to you has to leave you alone while he works to support you all. It's not silly at all its absolutely understandable and clear as crystal you're bound to feel this way. Night time is when you have time to reflect on all the things that concern you. Non of them are major things but the accumulation of all the small things can feel overwhelming and cause you to panic. It's ok. It will get better, you've had a turbulent year but its improving slowly. Perhaps your expectations of where you think you should be, are greater than what you actually are and you're criticising yourself for being this way when you think you should be better by now. Time is a healer and I think having come from a sunshine state to a deep winter one can cause you to be depressed. Spring is on its way and that's a chance for a new beginning.

I hope I helped. I do feel for you. You've had a lot on your plate but you're doing brilliantly. Keep going and it will be better still

Xx

[DuramaxDiesel]

I second Provodny.

 

I feel the same way you do occaisionally. I don't much like breaking rules either. We aren't supposed to have chickens because of how many acres we have and we have them anyway... we drive vehicles that are taller than the state law (husband puts lift kits on them)...that nags at me when we go to bigger towns with less lenient police.

 

Bills stress me out sometimes, and I am home alone most of the day with the dog and cat...granted I have neighbors and clients that come to the house... but the fear of someone coming up behind me in my own house and choking me gets me sometimes.

 

I just talk myself out of it and calm down. I call my husband when I fear something *might* happen or if something is "off". I am thankful he is only minutes away from home.

 

I think you will be fine. Just know you have all of us here if you ever need to talk Keep your head up!

[Elyse]

I was diagnosed with both anxiety disorder (anxious all the time even over little things) and panic disorder (I get at least 3-5 panic attacks a day).

 

I'm taking medications for them both and its helping a lot (PM me for the names).

 

The situation you described at night sounds like a panic attack. Your chest tightens up, it feels like your heart hurts, its hard to breathe, you may start sweating, you feel nauseous, you may throw up, you may pass out. I had one so bad I called 911 - it legit felt I was having a heart attack!

 

There's this medication I take to stop panic attacks when I first start to feel them coming. You put it under your tongue, it dissolves, and no joke...it starts working in 5 minutes. Again, PM me for the name.

 

By the way, having a anxiety disorder, I find it really annoying when people tell me to 'calm down and take a deep breath'. With an anxiety disorder, you CAN'T calm down because even the act of calming down makes you anxious... "What if I can't calm down!?!?". In all honesty, I'm constantly experiencing anxiety...the only time when I'm truly relaxed is when I'm sleeping or when I overdose just a LITTLE bit (taking an extra half-tablet) on my meds.

 

You're not alone - don't think that - my doctor told me there are a lot of people out there that has anxiety problems and/or panic attack problems...they are just too anxious to step forward to say "help me!"

[RedJasper]

I also suffer from the gift of anxiety.  Mine is work related.  I was sexually assaulted at work about 5 years ago and the management team did absolutly nothing to help me and enabled the teenage boy to continue to do this and even rewarded him.  My job was threatned if I reported it to the local police.  So for over 6 months I dealt with this until one day I lost it.  I quit crying and just laughed hysterically and even urinated on myself and did not care.  I was given the rest of the day off to see my doctor but then had to return the next morning.  I was put on medication but had frequent attacks for several years.  Anytime someone would come close to me, yell at me, or be disrespectful.  I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD over the issue.  I still have emergency medication (Xanax) that I can take however I have not needed it in at least a year.

 

At first I found it very difficult to talk about to anyone.  I have come to terms with it and know that it is always there just hidden deep down inside.  You are certainly not alone.  I do hope that you feel better soon.  It seems that you have a lot going on right now and from personl experience I can say that when my life is hectic then my anxiety is worse.  Despite the difficulty as it is just try to eliminate some of the stress and spend some time everyday focussing on you even if it is just 15 minutes to start with.  Good luck!

[Julieanne]

My mum has anxiety, to be specific she has OCD tendencies such as checking the door is locked mutiple times.

I have to some extent had mild anxiety though mine was more so due to the fact that I had isolated myself at the time and wasn't getting out and had no goals. I didn't lose it until I developed an ED though I am one of the lucky ones to now be healthy mentally and physically, the things I worry about now are normal.

 

I don't think anxiety can leave you permenatly, though I do believe it can get to the point where it doesn't affect your life. You may have a bad thought, though you are able to be at ease knowing it will not happen. Your anxiety will simply be a passing thought.

 

Something I found intresting was that your profile picture speaks volumes about you, as well as the way you have worded this,

it makes me believe you give everything a lot of thought. That can be good though it can also put you in a bad position.

 

I think it may help if you try to do something that will make you feel better about yourself. Go to the gym, learn a new language etc...

I hope you find something that works for you