Sooo Judgemental Ugh

[Removed #1]

Many may have noticed that I've stepped back from HO in the last months...and well I've stepped back from a lot of other places as well...which well you wouldn't notice but eh, it's out there.

 

My largest hugest frustration at present is people fixating on that little thing and missing the big picture.

 

There's a family in my city whose gotten a Sibe puppy...the thing is the sibe puppy is only five or six weeks old...they've had him for a week.  They're going to get a 2nd dog from the same breeder and...eh while I have my objections I can't force them to see a point of view I didn't have until I became educated.  I can do what I can to help and eduate...that's it.

 

I wandered onto facebook looking for people in the area who would be willing to help out with socialization and such as this pup is obviously too young to be away from its mother.

 

I KNOW THIS!!! I'VE COMMUNICATED THE FAMILY!!!!

 

and rather than offering suggestions or help it's all a tyraide on what sort of person ends up with a puppy before its eight weeks old.

 

Well you heartless SOB's...its done.  Get off your high horses and offer suggestions to help this family that's looking to make sure they raise their sibe right.  Why is that so much?!?!?!

 

Really I'm almost to the point of washing my hands of the entire sibe community.  Not because I don't love it...butbecause the psychotic judgemental people are going to make it so that people who need help aren't going to ask for it...which isn't what husky-owners is all about.

 

I've given the family this place as a resource, but tbh I'm dreading them coming here because the understanding and the helpful that used to be here just isn't anymore...and I think that coming off as a bunch of judgemental sods isn't going to help this pup so much as make the owners throw their hands up in the air and say...yeaaaah no...no I won't be going there for help

 

Sooo frustrated because this is such a great group full of so many knowledgable people and so much passion...but too often that passion comes across as mean spirited or judgemental and...well yeah just..yeah

 

Help...I miss my Husky Owners as it was when I came here...I just don't know what more I can do outside of ranting like this.

[Povodny]

No idea what to say to make you feel better. All I can say is I understand your frustration. My first foray into HO put me off for quite some time, I only came back after bumping into someone on a walk who was a member and they were the most sincere people you could ever meet. I came back then and have stayed ever since.. Bugging most, making a few laugh and hopefully helping the rest.

While we're on the subject. Is it just me or does anyone else have something entitled "warning points" on their profile? Only you see it, I was wondering what it was all about. Lol

[Povodny]

Many may have noticed that I've stepped back from HO in the last months...and well I've stepped back from a lot of other places as well...which well you wouldn't notice but eh, it's out there.

My largest hugest frustration at present is people fixating on that little thing and missing the big picture.

There's a family in my city whose gotten a Sibe puppy...the thing is the sibe puppy is only five or six weeks old...they've had him for a week. They're going to get a 2nd dog from the same breeder and...eh while I have my objections I can't force them to see a point of view I didn't have until I became educated. I can do what I can to help and eduate...that's it.

I wandered onto facebook looking for people in the area who would be willing to help out with socialization and such as this pup is obviously too young to be away from its mother.

I KNOW THIS!!! I'VE COMMUNICATED THE FAMILY!!!!

and rather than offering suggestions or help it's all a tyraide on what sort of person ends up with a puppy before its eight weeks old.

Well you heartless SOB's...its done. Get off your effing high horses and offer suggestions to help this family that's looking to make sure they raise their sibe right. Why is that so much?!?!?!

Really I'm almost to the point of washing my hands of the entire sibe community. Not because I don't love it...butbecause the psychotic judgemental people are going to make it so that people who need help aren't going to ask for it...which isn't what husky-owners is all about.

I've given the family this place as a resource, but tbh I'm dreading them coming here because the understanding and the helpful that used to be here just isn't anymore...and I think that coming off as a bunch of judgemental sods isn't going to help this pup so much as make the owners throw their hands up in the air and say...yeaaaah no...no I won't be going there for help

Sooo frustrated because this is such a great group full of so many knowledgable people and so much passion...but too often that passion comes across as mean spirited or judgemental and...well yeah just..yeah

Help...I miss my Husky Owners as it was when I came here...I just don't know what more I can do outside of ranting like this.

I attempted to message you

[Julieanne]

We learn though experience, perhaps one day these people will but I wouldn't want to be judged for not "getting it".

 

If someone on here asked a question about breeding their dog or buying a pup at a pet shop, I would still offer any knowledge I could give though I would try to mention politely why I think they shouldn't.

 

There was a time when I thought "why 8 weeks"?  Though that was awhile ago and my views have changed a lot since then. People just need time to work things out for themselves. 

[Jay]

Awe! That sucks. I haven't really noticed too much in this forum as I have on others. I totally know what you mean though. My feelings are that you can't treat everyone's situation the same, and one persons views are not necessarily the right way. It depends on so much more than that. I never want to be one of those people that judge others. I know people feel passionate about the breed but we all need to consider people's feelings. Every answer I post I make sure that it is from my own personal experience. What worked for me might not be right for you Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rosemary]

I may have missed something, which happens quite a lot.  

 

I have noticed many, many posts, where some time ago it would have started a war, but HO members have gone out of their way to help.  Most of us do realise that when something is done, it is done, and it will do no good to harp on something that can't be fixed.  The only problem I will have is if they go out and get another 5 or 6 week old puppy - even after you have spoken to them about it, but I understand what you are saying. 

 

We will be here when, or if, they join to make sure they get the help and support they need.  

 

I speak for myself and I am sure other members feel the same - we are here for the Siberian Husky and not to earn brownie points on being hard arsed, and if we can help a puppy be all that it was born to be, yay for the husky community 

[valkyries]

Sorry you feel this way but we are trying our best to people being judgmental and we try to give the best help possible. If they do join I'm sure help will be at hand xxxx

[*jax*]

Having been on other forums for a few years for my reptiles and tarantulas this is a common experience. People will always feel strongly about some subjects. You should see the rants about tarantula handling and the resulting 'flaming'. I think the thing to remember is that on a public forum you are free to post your views and others are free to reply with suggestions and opinions. You take from it what you need which is hopefully good advice. Forums need thick skins tbh. I posted recently about how happy I was at how my crate training was going but there was a suggestion I was being smug. TO RIGHT I WAS! Back to work next week and need it to go well for mine and my puppies well being. 

[Julieanne]

Having been on other forums for a few years for my reptiles and tarantulas this is a common experience. People will always feel strongly about some subjects. You should see the rants about tarantula handling and the resulting 'flaming'. I think the thing to remember is that on a public forum you are free to post your views and others are free to reply with suggestions and opinions. You take from it what you need which is hopefully good advice. Forums need thick skins tbh. I posted recently about how happy I was at how my crate training was going but there was a suggestion I was being smug. TO RIGHT I WAS! Back to work next week and need it to go well for mine and my puppies well being. 

I feel pretty happy with the fact that Rafeal is a well behaved angel, if your smug then your not the only one 

 

EDIT: I will look back on my post's and say some of them I didn't give enough thought to, though I'm human and I'm not perfect, though I will try to keep others in mind more so in the future.

[Steve]

I haven't commented on another article "3 weeks and 4 days" as I have no experience of under-age pups, but I have followed it with interest, and have been so impressed with the contributions, especially from AL JONES. This is the strength and beauty of this site. You'll never get away from a little judgement, but I think this site is as good as it gets, and love being part of it.

[Storm Angel n Auroras Mum]

Having been on other forums for a few years for my reptiles and tarantulas this is a common experience. People will always feel strongly about some subjects. You should see the rants about tarantula handling and the resulting 'flaming'. I think the thing to remember is that on a public forum you are free to post your views and others are free to reply with suggestions and opinions. You take from it what you need which is hopefully good advice. Forums need thick skins tbh. I posted recently about how happy I was at how my crate training was going but there was a suggestion I was being smug. TO RIGHT I WAS! Back to work next week and need it to go well for mine and my puppies well being.

if youre talking about my comment then I apologise for being honest. and i shall refrain from commenting further.

[Emma]

I think that's just most Facebook groups in general. You say something and suddenly everyone's a martyr! Very easy to get on your soap box whilst safely tucked away behind your laptop. But throwing a hissy fit isn't going to help anyone, least of all the poor people who needed help the most.

Edit: just clarifying I'm talking about Facebook NOT husky owners.

Edited February 17, 2013 by emma1979

[Removed #1]

I think that's my big frustration...the anonymity created by the internet...and the potential it presents in deterring people who want help from asking for it...

[Sarah]

I find the accusation about HO a bit of a generalisation, there's so many threads on here where people have helped and the staff here try to keep things running smoothly, you will always get the odd thread where something gets heated but i think that's why I  stay off facebook, on there you haven't got "staff" like you have on forums

 

There are an awful lot of judgemental people in the husky community - in fact in any community and it's sad but i've learnt to accept it, however i think especially on HO, people know what is an isn't acceptable - we don't allow members to slate or flame others and if this family came on here to ask for advice i'd put money on the fact that they would get a lot of support from people  

[Marc]

This is something we actually actively try to avoid on this forum, however unless people use the report button for what it is there for then things can and will get missed.

 

There are only personally 2 exceptions I have to this.

 

• One is when people are talking about offlead without stating that it is not recommended for people to do so, this is for the sole reason that although some may not have a problem as a rule most people generally do and therefore to someone who is inexperienced it should be pointed out that most do not recommend it.
• The other exception is when and animal is actively being harmed by the person posting for example someone who actively stated they were feeding their husky cocopops (which contain chocolate for those who do not have them where they are. )

 

There have actually been 2 posts only today which have been jumped on by moderators of this site because they were being judgemental of others without knowing all the facts. One of which has since been removed from the forum.

 

The only thing I can honestly say about this forum with regards to this in particular is that if you think we are judgemental on this forum I actively invite you to join some of the others, because I can honestly say in comparison we are not even the tip of the iceburg.

[Chula]

My only issue is when people assume that because your dog isn't responding the same way theirs does, then you're either imagining or not doing something right.

[Marc]

My only issue is when people assume that because your dog isn't responding the same way theirs does, then you're either imagining or not doing something right.

 

And actually that is kinda the whole point of this place to begin with. The whole reason it was even called husky owners was for owners to get experiences from other husky owners because they (and we for that matter) are not all the same.

[Chula]

I think it would help to remember that people who come here are trying to do the best they can for their dogs. We all have different lives, different abilities, different personalities but we find forums like this because we are either looking for help or community or both. I know intent is really hard to read, so it also helps to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I have learned a lot from this forum and am so appreciative of the knowledge that long term husky owners have acquired. But we all start somewhere, and I'd wager none of us wants anything but happy, well adjusted, loving doggies. So even if newbie questions seem silly, please keep that in mind!

[Austinville]

I have found that Siberian owners  are a very passionate group. A few things are guaranteed to get us on our 'soapboxes'...........

 

I hope that this family will find the assistance they need, and I know, Steph, with you as a mentor, things will work out.

 

As far as HO, and any other forum, there is ebb and flow............sometimes are better than others. Honestly, I take part in quite a few sibe groups on FB and recent comments on many of them have totally turned me off. Here, I do believe that our Admin is pretty much on top of things...........sure, some things are missed, but that's to be expected - they are, after all, only human.

 

Your new sibe owner friend should be warned that sibe owners are passionate and to have some broad shoulders...Remind them that quite often, posts on groups and forums are not read closely and that the keyboard provides some folks with enough anonyminity to become brazen and annoying.........just a part of life on the internet.

[Mazz]

I only have to remember when we got our first Husky, Elke. Boy was I inexperienced and uneducated. Pretty sure the majority of us were in the same boat at some point in our lives with Huskies.

At that time there was no Husky-Owners. Had there been, I would have been oh so thankful. I had to learn on my own. And I'm not sure that comes anywhere close to making me any kind of an expert.

Being humble and compassionate towards others is not always the easy path. Sometimes our emotions get the better of us. But being critical or harsh is definitely not the best path.

As a moderator, I sometimes give the benefit of doubt. There is often a judgement call made to keep watch on a thread rather than pounce, to see if the topic gets back on track. Many times, the single harsh post soon is outnumbered and becomes buried. If not, then action is taken. But we rely on active members to report when they see a post that they feel is out of line.

It's not a perfect system. But I think this forum is one of the best at informing and helping new Husky-Owners.

[Jay]

I agree. I absolutely love this forum and everyone is so knowledgeable and kind. I've felt judged on other husky forums and I never ever felt that way here. I always enjoy contributing by helping others that have been in my shoes and any questions that I have are always answered with respect. We have to remember its online and what is written isn't always what is intended Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[LittleLuka]

That's the thing really we are online. It's easy to forget when you are constantly talking to fellow members because they start to feel more like personal friends as opposed to random people online.

I try my best to not take offense at what anyone suggests to me because I remember that they are only trying to help me.

This forum is so wonderful because you can learn and grow from it but you have to have an open mind and take others advice. I've said it time and time again if I had known then what I know now things would be completely different from me.

However I think sometimes all of us have to take a step back and realize that we might be excellent owners but we don't truly know everything. There is always room to learn!

Sorry that youve had a bad experience. I'm sure that no one meant it personal. I applaud our staff for running such a great forum!

[mydiamond]

I haven't been around for quite a while, so I can't comment on how's H-O like compared to how it used to be, but so far this is one of the most informative, friendly forums I've ever seen. I do find judgmental posts/members here and there every once in a while, but I think it's just a part of the daily "internet life"... Like many others have said, anonymity sure created a bunch of annoying peeps =\ but if there's one thing about this forum that I truly like it's how attentive the admins and mods are. They are certainly doing their best to keep H-O troll-free and maintain its warm friendliness. But this forum has thousands of members from all over the world, which means there are also thousands of different personalities here. You'll always find that annoying one in a group of people, especially in larger groups such as H-O. But a handful of peeps can't define the whole forum, and IMO... H-O is a lovely place where everyone's welcome. Sure, fights between members happen, and we also have some of those annoying, judgmental trolls sometimes, but it's the ups and downs that made us a happy family

Last but not least: I wanted to say that IMO, H-O doesn't have to "go back to how it used to be"... This is still H-O and it will always be H-O. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but surely a few members being judgmental doesn't mean the whole forum has changed into a judgmental forum... I can still find that helpful bunch of peeps that always made me laugh, so surely it hasn't changed much and the fact that there are newer members feeling the same way proves it, I guess I'm sorry if I offended anyone in any way by writing this post... and I'm also sorry for the long post ._. in all honesty I have just decided what I really want to say in this second paragraph... but the first paragraph is also part of what I wanna say so I decided not to delete it ._.

oh and.. I also would like to say sorry if any of my posts in the past has offended anyone... I am human and English isn't my first language so sometimes there are miscommunications... and there are also times when I didn't think twice before hitting that "post" button. So... I'm sorry ._.

[Emma]

I haven't been around for quite a while, so I can't comment on how's H-O like compared to how it used to be, but so far this is one of the most informative, friendly forums I've ever seen. I <em>do </em>find<em> </em>judgmental posts/members here and there every once in a while, but I think it's just a part of the daily "internet life"... Like many others have said, anonymity sure created a bunch of annoying peeps =\ but if there's one thing about this forum that I truly like it's how attentive the admins and mods are. They are certainly doing their best to keep H-O troll-free and maintain its warm friendliness. But this forum has thousands of members from all over the world, which means there are also thousands of different personalities here. You'll always find that annoying one in a group of people, especially in larger groups such as H-O. But a handful of peeps can't define the whole forum, and IMO... H-O is a lovely place where everyone's welcome. Sure, fights between members happen, and we also have some of those annoying, judgmental trolls sometimes, but it's the ups and downs that made us a happy family <br><br>

Last but not least: I wanted to say that IMO, H-O doesn't have to "go back to how it used to be"... This is still H-O and it will always be H-O. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but surely a few members being judgmental doesn't mean the whole forum has changed into a judgmental forum... I can still find that helpful bunch of peeps that always made me laugh, so surely it hasn't changed much and the fact that there are newer members feeling the same way proves it, I guess I'm sorry if I offended anyone in any way by writing this post... and I'm also sorry for the long post ._. in all honesty I have just decided what I really want to say in this second paragraph... but the first paragraph is also part of what I wanna say so I decided not to delete it ._.<br><br>

oh and.. I also would like to say sorry if any of my posts in the past has offended anyone... I am human and English isn't my first language so sometimes there are miscommunications... and there are also times when I didn't think twice before hitting that "post" button. So... I'm sorry ._.

Don't worry we're still the same crazy people we always were, nothings changed! Lol. And you don't need to apologise IMO as you always come across well from what I've seen and frankly you're command of the English language is outstanding! (much better than mine, lol). X

[Storm Angel n Auroras Mum]

the forum has changed so much since i joined 2 1/2 years ago.

people have joined.

people have left.

but its still h-o.