Removed #5 Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because, it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on ahead'. 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass'. 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 17. A backward poet writes inverse. 18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 20. If you jump off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine. 21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger'. 22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says. 'Dam!' 23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I've Lost my electron. The other says, Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I'm positive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 ROFL! "Weapon of Math Disruption!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CARRINGTON Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 haha that is funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 Thanx Al some of those had me chuckling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannii Posted March 6, 2013 Report Share Posted March 6, 2013 Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebe03 Posted March 6, 2013 Report Share Posted March 6, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devildust76 Posted March 6, 2013 Report Share Posted March 6, 2013 I loved No. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2013 Hey, you can't say I didn't warn you!! I've seen some of these before but not all of them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles Posted March 6, 2013 Report Share Posted March 6, 2013 Al they're brilliant. Just read them after having a busy day at work and really needed a good chuckle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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