Your Opinion?

[Bambi92]

I think I've made a post about Dozer and his owners previously not sure.

We took Dozer in because his owners had to move 4-5hrs away and couldn't take him with them and were just going to dump him in a shelter! That should have been my key that something was going to go wrong! Dozer is a beautiful friendly affectionate boy and just loves attention.

My rant to this story goes like this:

We have had Dozer for four months maybe a bit longer the agreement for us taking him in was that they would pay for his flea treatment ($20) a month, vet bill if needed and they can come get him when they have there own place with a yard that was it we supply the food, toys (which he never had) and everything else for him. A week or two after he came here it was there wedding and they stayed with us for the weekend they gave us money for his flea stuff for that month that's were it ended.

We have heard from them once or twice since then that's how many times they have asked about him he had to go to the vet last week we tried calling several times and sent text messages and no reply we have tried many more times to contact them but nothing looked on there facebooks and they have been having a good old time going away and what not (which has made me extremely angry).

I'm at the point where I'm almost ready to send them one very long and very rude/mean text message telling them they aren't getting him back because they don't deserve him!

They are ment to be my OHs friends but you wouldn't think so I've been told by my OH that I'm not aloud to send this message or anything because they are his "friends" I've told him and he knows full well what I'm like with animals that I'm extremely angry and there's only so long ill put up with it which made an argument between us but that was my fault because I have anger issues and take it out on the wrong people (really need to find something to help with that lol)

What's your opinion on what I should do?

What would you do in this situation?

I'm at the end of my calmness (you could call it)

To make things worse Sasha and Dozer love each they love playing with each other they have since the day they met so if they take him away after this long and after not giving a crap not only is it going to be hard on me its going to be worse for Sasha and Dozer!

Sorry it's long I have no one to vent this too (no one that will understand my frustrations anyway).

Thanks for listening (reading) and thanks in advance for any advice

[Storm Angel n Auroras Mum]

Ok i dont know what country you are in. in the uk a chip isnt proof of ownership. Things like recent vet visits are.

Technically the dog belongs to them. BUT theres no proof to say they havent jut given her to u.

You would possibly end up in court which would cost money x

[Bambi92]

Ok i dont know what country you are in. in the uk a chip isnt proof of ownership. Things like recent vet visits are.

Technically the dog belongs to them. BUT theres no proof to say they havent jut given her to u.

You would possibly end up in court which would cost money x

I'm not even sure if he is microchipped if it is the info wouldn't be up to date anyway. I don't think they would go as far as court but if they did I'd be more then willing to go I've got more then enough proof that they have done nothing for him since we have had him.

[Povodny]

I'd text, write and email asking what they want to do with the dog and remind them the agreed time of care is past its finish date as politely as you can make it say if you've not heard from them by such a date, make sure you put day date month year, you'll take that as an indication they no longer intend to take him back. I wouldn't say what you intend to do with him unless they ask. I wouldn't offer money for him as you've been covering his keeping costs. And basically go from there. If they tell you they can't have him just yet you need do decide what you're willing to do. At the moment they have you all ways, you are keeping their dog for free and they'll let you as long as you let them. If they're honest an tell you they don't want him any longer you need a written signed letter from them to say he's now your responsibility to do with as you see fit.

I personally wouldn't give them the peace of mind by letting them know you intended keeping him, I'd let them believe you'd make sure he found a good home (just happens to be yours)

You're not being unreasonable or difficult. You just need to get out of this limbo you're living in and create some certainty for yourself your own dog and theirs.

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

Tell your oh that as his friends he needs to talk to them wether it be getting payment or handing him over to you

[Bambi92]

I'd text, write and email asking what they want to do with the dog and remind them the agreed time of care is past its finish date as politely as you can make it say if you've not heard from them by such a date, make sure you put day date month year, you'll take that as an indication they no longer intend to take him back. I wouldn't say what you intend to do with him unless they ask. I wouldn't offer money for him as you've been covering his keeping costs. And basically go from there. If they tell you they can't have him just yet you need do decide what you're willing to do. At the moment they have you all ways, you are keeping their dog for free and they'll let you as long as you let them. If they're honest an tell you they don't want him any longer you need a written signed letter from them to say he's now your responsibility to do with as you see fit.

I personally wouldn't give them the peace of mind by letting them know you intended keeping him, I'd let them believe you'd make sure he found a good home (just happens to be yours)

You're not being unreasonable or difficult. You just need to get out of this limbo you're living in and create some certainty for yourself your own dog and theirs.

The only real way we can contact them is through Facebook I don't know if sending a text will get through to them because knowing them as soon as they see my name on the text they most likely delete it I don't know there address or I'd be taking a trip there. Is sending it through Facebook a good idea? At least ill know if they read it they can't really get out of that part facebook says if its been read or not.

Thank you that's what I've been trying to say to my OH but it never comes out that way I'm not very good at putting thoughts into words that are in a polite way.

Tell your oh that as his friends he needs to talk to them wether it be getting payment or handing him over to you

He's tried to ring and message more then I have he's annoyed at them but no were near as much as I am he doesn't see it the way I do though because I've paid for everything other then the dog meat he gets out of it easy he only puts $10 a week to all the animals in the house except the fish I get the most expensive part

[Povodny]

Argh!! What a situation. I'm frustrated for you now lol they haven't had the courtesy to let you know where they live? If your oh is a friend of theirs does he not know other family members? Perhaps they can give an address or email. Is Dozer a registered pedigree?

Yes just go through fb. It's your only source of connection. I'd just reword it to you need confirmation that they are no longer in ownership of the dog and again add if you've not heard back by Xday date month yr you'll consider that from that day he becomes your sole responsibility. As you say, least you'll know if it was read.

You could also contact the local shelter an ask them their advice. He's basically been abandoned into your care. See if they can offer advice on how you could keep him without repercussion. The only thing I see a problem is if he's pedigree and registered to them. They can claim him back at any time.

[Bambi92]

Argh!! What a situation. I'm frustrated for you now lol they haven't had the courtesy to let you know where they live? If your oh is a friend of theirs does he not know other family members? Perhaps they can give an address or email. Is Dozer a registered pedigree?

Yes just go through fb. It's your only source of connection. I'd just reword it to you need confirmation that they are no longer in ownership of the dog and again add if you've not heard back by Xday date month yr you'll consider that from that day he becomes your sole responsibility. As you say, least you'll know if it was read.

You could also contact the local shelter an ask them their advice. He's basically been abandoned into your care. See if they can offer advice on how you could keep him without repercussion. The only thing I see a problem is if he's pedigree and registered to them. They can claim him back at any time.

Dozer isn't a pedigree and I don't think hes registered.

We know the suburb they live in lol wouldn't take me long to find them if I went there haha they live with there parents as far as we know only way to contact any of them is through fb so ill attempt to word it nicely and send it see what happens how long is enough time for them to reply though is a week or 2 ok?

Considering this person wants to join the police force like his father was he isn't honest or reliable at all! I'm sooooo frustrated I just want to scream lol ill send them a message tomorrow attempting not to vent the frustration yet (that will be very hard lol) and see what happens if they don't reply ill ring the rspca and see what they say or ill ask my vet they have always been very helpful I use to have a habit of bringing abandoned dogs and a litter of kittens home when I was younger they always helped us out with them mum still has one dog I brought home today (hes a German spitz the vet knew he had a microchip but didnt say anything because we wouldn't have gotten him back if he went to the pound haha love my vet)

Time to cross my fingers and toes in hope they do the right thing (highly doubt it)

I love Dozer like he is my own hes hard not to love so I'm hoping this goes in my favour I know they can't take him to the place there living they don't have a fenced yard or a safe yard at that to take him to.

[Bambi92]

I sent them a message today surprisingly it came out polite haha I've given them till the 23rd to reply if they don't ill take that as they no longer want to take responsibility or ownership of Dozer and from then he will be my responsibility.

I don't think my OH liked the fact that I did it and it will more then likely end up in an arguement when he gets home but oh we'll I'm over being used and taken advantage of its about time I. Stand up for myself and what I believe is right

[Stormy]

If they dont reply its quite clear that they dont want him its just ashame that they couldn't just be honest with you considering they are meant to be your OH's friends

[Bambi92]

Honestly doesnt seem to be around much anymore.

We asked the vet his opinion while we were there he said the only way to legally have him as ours if they don't reply is to take him to the pound and tell them the situation and he will have to be held there for a week or 2 to see if they can contact them if they can't then if they choose to then he can be transferred into our name and he will he ours legally but knowing what the pound is like we more then likely won't get called and we will lose him and the fact that the pounds are full here I don't know what would happen. The vet also said we could just keep him but if he gets lost or if for some reason if we have to take him to a different vet and they check his microchip info they can take him off us because he's not in our name now I really hope to heck they do the right thing and hand him over to us!!!! I could bare to see him be taken off us or to have to go to the pound for that long with not knowing if we will get him back garrrrrhhhh this is getting so much more frustrating and I'm starting to stress something shocking!

Why do I have to get so attached to animals all I've tried to do is the right thing by Dozer and its starting to get thrown back in my face

I look at him and want to cry because I know what there doing to him and its starting to look like a losing battle

I also told my OH they aren't welcome in our house again if they don't do the right thing and get in contact with us and that if I see them ill lose it at them! He didn't say anything I think he knows I've had enough and they deserve everything coming for them

[Bambi92]

Well they replied said they didnt know we were trying to contact them and they dont have a working phone at the moment but stated they have a house phone and gave me the number. I questioned why they havent asked about Dozer and they said they know my partner doesnt use his facebook (his mum does) and that they checked reguarly on the ps3 to see if either of is went online (my partner has been on he was online for hours for the week i wasnt here) but they never seen him online (you can send offline messages so dont see why they didnt if they were 'trying') i didnt bother asking about the money which i said in those words but it was ignored. My issues arent about the money im use to having almost no money because of all the animals i choose to have its about the lack of contact. I dont know what to do or believe.

Do i give them another chance to see if they bother now they know im not impressed with it?

I laid in bed crying for nearly an hour because i finally lost it wondering why i try and do the right thing. This stress isnt good for me right now i dont deal with stress very well in the first place let alone when i have a baby to think about as well :'(

[Emma]

Sounds like they don't want to take him back or be financially responsible but don't have the heart to give him up entirely. Things can't go on like this for you, its not fair on you or your relationship, there needs to be an end one way or another. Have you thought about sitting down with your partner and talking to them and making it clear that if he's their dog, they must cough up for all money's owed and give you a specific time frame for how much longer until he goes home. Give them an ultimatum. If they can't/won't cooperate then I guess you have to decide if you really do want to start up court proceedings, or some other alternative to force them into a decision.

Edited March 14, 2013 by emma1979

[Bambi92]

At the moment if I talk to them in any way it won't end well for anyone so ill be asking my partner to ring them some time this weekend and talk to them about it like you said I can't keep doing this. I love Dozer and ill do anything to help him for his benefit not there's he's an amazing dog everyone loves him. I highly doubt they even know when they will hav there own place they have a free ride living where they are now I'm not really bothered by how long he's here for because I love having him here but the not knowing if they really want him back or want to take responsibility for him is getting to me. If they tell me what they honestly want and keep to there end of the agreement if they want him back it would be so much easier! Seems like everything I get involved with turns to crap or ends up me being like this

[simhauu]

Everything you're involved with turns to crap? You have given a loving home to a dog who was bound to go to shelter four months ago.

Honestly I think the moment they decided he'll go to shelter(or your place) it was over for them. If you want him just try to get ownership, ask them for it or use the shelter and be done with them, so one day they don't come to get him and make his life toyless and just bad.

[Bambi92]

Everything you're involved with turns to crap? You have given a loving home to a dog who was bound to go to shelter four months ago.

Honestly I think the moment they decided he'll go to shelter(or your place) it was over for them. If you want him just try to get ownership, ask them for it or use the shelter and be done with them, so one day they don't come to get him and make his life toyless and just bad.

I would love to keep him but they want him back which I don't see why they want him back or had him in the first place they never played with him hardly ever walked him the most attention he got was when they were yelling at him or pushing him out of the way. He's so happy here every time I go to the back door he's there tail going like crazy with the biggest, goofiest smile on his face its going to break my heart if they take him back and don't bring him back to visit (which will be the likely case) unless they surrender him to the pound or sign him over to me I won't be able to keep him and I don't see them doing that no matter what affect it has on me or Sasha.

It was so easy for them to hand him over to us to look after him yeah ok they were happy about it and that he didnt have to go to a shelter but I've been in the same position with my cat and my dog they were at my OHs two cousins houses and I was over seeing Sasha everyday and seeing my cat every second day and was always asking if they were ok and I supplied everything for them both I was forever crying and trying so many different things to save money to get them back with me yet they haven't even tried to contact us or anything I don't understand how that works how can they not want to know how he's doing no matter what it took to find out

[simhauu]

I would love to keep him but they want him back which I don't see why they want him back or had him in the first place they never played with him hardly ever walked him the most attention he got was when they were yelling at him or pushing him out of the way. He's so happy here every time I go to the back door he's there tail going like crazy with the biggest, goofiest smile on his face its going to break my heart if they take him back and don't bring him back to visit (which will be the likely case) unless they surrender him to the pound or sign him over to me I won't be able to keep him and I don't see them doing that no matter what affect it has on me or Sasha.

It was so easy for them to hand him over to us to look after him yeah ok they were happy about it and that he didnt have to go to a shelter but I've been in the same position with my cat and my dog they were at my OHs two cousins houses and I was over seeing Sasha everyday and seeing my cat every second day and was always asking if they were ok and I supplied everything for them both I was forever crying and trying so many different things to save money to get them back with me yet they haven't even tried to contact us or anything I don't understand how that works how can they not want to know how he's doing no matter what it took to find out

I'd stop trying to get in contact with them. it would also sadden mme not to know how my dog is at someone else's place and having to be the one trying to get them interested. Maybe once they do take him back they will come to you to take. And prepare vet bills for them to pay back.

[Bambi92]

I've given up on them my OH can deal with them I've got my baby girl to worry about now and the added stress of them on top of it isn't doing me any favours the only time he's been to the vet so far didnt cost me anything so that part is a bonus but having an agreement should be kept to what's was agreed but it hasn't been so ill have to deal with them later