I Don't Want Kids, Damn It!!

[LittleLuka]

i think at 21 you're honestly too young to really make such a large decision. don't get me wrong you may never change your mind and that's completely fine. it doesn't make you a "bad person" if you don't want kids, they're not for everyone.

 

I don't know your relationship status but finding the love of your life could also change things. i never really cared much about having kids, actually i was convinced i wasn't having kids haha but after finding Josh it's changed my perspective. I want to have a family with him one day and I'm only 23. My opinion has changed in just a short time. 

[Andy]

Elyse. . .

It's your Uterus, your choice.

and if you make the choice, to have a child then you have to stick with that choice for at least 18 years.

However as a parent you never give up that responsibilty when they become an adult.

and then. . .

just as you think . . .wheeee they've all flown the nest. . . sigh . . .relax

The grandkids come along and basically you start all over again.

[Julieanne]

Perhaps try imagining how you would feel looking back on it.

 

Would you truly miss seeing your child get married and having them around for family gathering. Seeing them succeed etc...

 

Or would you be glad that you had the extra time to devote to your job, dog and other things.

Do you think having a child would make the things you want to do a challenge?

Do you think you can succeed in what you want to do in life with a child?

 

Like everyone has said, it's your choice.

[Chula]

I never wanted kids either. Then I finally got to a place in my life where I did want them - and couldn't have them. We tried for seven years to have babies, including using expensive fertility treatments.

 

I think it is really hard to know what you will want ten years from now, especially if you meet the person you could see wanting a family with. Ultimately, your parents will get over it.  But if you do get to a point in life where you want them, and can't have them or are afraid of risks due to advanced maternal age - you could always consider fostering and/or adopting. Just like doggies, there are so many children in need of homes.

[Mia-Blue]

You could have kids and look back and wish you hadn't the same as you could not have kids and look back and wish you had.......that's the gamble of life, nothing is a cert!

You have to follow your heart and do what feels right for you

[Kells xx]

most of my friends said they didnt think of me as the mum type!!!

i personally thought i was too selfish to have a child

now at 28 im mum to a gorgeous 4 month old girl, it can be tough but her smiles make my day

 

my mum used to bug me for kids but i thought id have them when i was ready....... (bad choices in men gave me my baby)

i can honestly say my life must have been boring and pointless before my daughter..... she is my whole world

 

 

if you dont want kids thats fine, no one should force you...

you are still young so you have plenty of time.......

[ponder85]

Odd I got on here and saw this... I've always thought I didn't want kids, and that kinda changed today.

My mammaw went in the hospital a couple weeks ago. Yesterday she was put on a bipap machine (basically it breathed for her). We made the decision today to remove it. We decided it for a few reasons but mainly she was tired and we felt like it was her time. Two hours later she was gone. As we were gathered around her I reqlly reconsidered how I feel about having kids. The only people there were her kids and grand kids. No siblings or nieces and nephews. Maybe it's selfish, but i can't imagine lying there like that one day, with no one there with me. If she wouldn't have had my uncle who was her medical POA, she'd still be hooked up to shit keeping her alive and shed be suffering. The state will keep them alive as long as possible, in most cases. Luckily she didn't have to endure that. I don't want to endure that either.

I get the same shit from my mom about having kids. I usually blow it off. My life, my choice. But, I think I'll come around. Maybe you will too. I'm only seven years older than you, but my life has taken many turns since I was 21. Seriously, major things I never saw coming have happened.

What I've learned since I was your age is that I can't predict my life, nor how I'll feel about things later. Unpredictable experiences alter who we are and what we want in unpredictable ways. Don't fret over whether to have kids or not have kids. It's like trying to figure out what clothes and food you will like in five years from now. The question will figure itself out. Live your life.

[Elyse]

Odd I got on here and saw this... I've always thought I didn't want kids, and that kinda changed today.

My mammaw went in the hospital a couple weeks ago. Yesterday she was put on a bipap machine (basically it breathed for her). We made the decision today to remove it. We decided it for a few reasons but mainly she was tired and we felt like it was her time. Two hours later she was gone. As we were gathered around her I reqlly reconsidered how I feel about having kids. The only people there were her kids and grand kids. No siblings or nieces and nephews. Maybe it's selfish, but i can't imagine lying there like that one day, with no one there with me. If she wouldn't have had my uncle who was her medical POA, she'd still be hooked up to shit keeping her alive and shed be suffering. The state will keep them alive as long as possible, in most cases. Luckily she didn't have to endure that. I don't want to endure that either.

I get the same shit from my mom about having kids. I usually blow it off. My life, my choice. But, I think I'll come around. Maybe you will too. I'm only seven years older than you, but my life has taken many turns since I was 21. Seriously, major things I never saw coming have happened.

What I've learned since I was your age is that I can't predict my life, nor how I'll feel about things later. Unpredictable experiences alter who we are and what we want in unpredictable ways. Don't fret over whether to have kids or not have kids. It's like trying to figure out what clothes and food you will like in five years from now. The question will figure itself out. Live your life.

 

Thank you for sharing that - it must have been hard. I've been through a very similar experience actually with my Nonna - who passed away 4 years ago. She was on the bipap machine aswell, and we took her off because we could tell she wanted to go - she knew it was her time.

 

Up until then, I never really appreciated life...just sorta coasted through it and letting it pass by. Now, after being there for her death and my Nonno's a week later, my whole perspective on life has changed: I realized life's too short to waste it away on videogames and in front of the TV. I try to live life to its fullest - I'm taking more responsibility when it comes to my health and future wellbeing (eating better, exercising more, etc), and I feel better about myself. Sure, I still play games and still watch TV, but I don't play excessively like I used to.

 

So maybe something will happen that will make me want to have kids (hopefully not another death or something equally as horrible...). I guess only time will tell...

[Emma]

My honest opinion is to just sit back, enjoy your life and forget about the whole children thing for now. There's no point worrying about and overanalysing something in the distant future when you have no idea what circumstances will appear in the future that will likely make the decision easy and uncomplicated. Focus your energy on the things that you do want, the rest should all fall into place naturally.

[simhauu]

If you really deny to want kids, there are s couple of things that come to my mind. You will have kids for the heck of it. The whole of question of wheter you will is up to nature. You may wish to have kids all your life and then find out you can't.

For me, I tell myself I'd rather want more dogs but well I'd like to have kids at some point. And there's always adoption