Removed #5 Posted March 17, 2013 Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 Visitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern. Barking: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark... a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and earring your protective bark, bark, bark... Licking: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel. Holes: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem. Doors: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep. The Art of Sniffing: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them. Dining Etiquette: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing. Housebreaking: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible. Going for walks: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn. Couches: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed. Playing: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself. Chasing Cats: When chasing cats, make sure you never quite catch them. It spoils all the fun. Chewing: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. Eat a shoe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devildust76 Posted March 17, 2013 Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 Kodiak really read up on the Licking rule! It's like getting a power wash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julieanne Posted March 17, 2013 Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 I must say it's nice having a live vacuum to get rid of all the peas that fell out of the bag without lifting a finger. Though I'm grateful when he has a drink before licking anyone after knowing where that tongue has been... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted March 17, 2013 Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 ROFL - thia is hilarious~ I can especially relate to a few of 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted March 18, 2013 Report Share Posted March 18, 2013 LOL at the last one XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted March 18, 2013 Report Share Posted March 18, 2013 Awesome Al. Would like to add this one. Watching Humans eat. You must never sit more than six inches away from the plate, and there must be a constrant rope of drool dribbling fom your mouth to the floor. You must also track the fork from plate to mouth each and every time incase something is dropped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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