How Do You Tell Children When They Won't Listen?

[Bambi92]

We had my OHs cousins and there two kids (2 and I think the other is 5-6 can't remember lol) come over last night and as they have come in I've said to them leave Sasha alone please she isn't happy and might bite you. I have to pre warn children and there parents because she has been a bit snappy lately since she's been having the seizures and around her food I try to avoid having kids here for now because of this. Now in saying that these two kids don't listen to there mother and rarely listen to there father so me saying it seemed pointless because they didnt listen. The 2year old has a habit of pointing at dogs faces specially there eyes and ears he was doing it to Sasha I asked him nicely to stop he told me now so I pushed his hands away from her face and said she will bite you if you don't stop it he again said no and went to do it again mind you this was in front of his mother who was petting Sasha I said to the father can you tell him to stop sasha is getting angry so he pulled him away smacked him and told him not to do it he stopped for a while but did it several more times got in trouble each time but still didnt listen. What would you do?

Now for the 5-6 year old that knows better because they have a very protective GSD at home and he doesn't do it to that dog. He was petting her nicely at first then he started pulling at her hair and pushing his hands up her coat which was hurting her she went to snap at him I told him not to do it he rolled his eyes and did it again I again said in a harsher tone not to do it or she will bite he walked away laughing. He left her alone for a bit then started poking at her and trying to hit her with one of her toys which I've told him countless times before not to do but he still does it he hit her face with it and she sort of yelped and came running to me and sat at my feet his father told him off for it and seen if sasha was ok but the kid then decided to through her toy at her if my hand wasn't on her chest at the time it would of hit her pretty hard in the chest because it hurt my hand when it hit by this time I wasn't impressed and had Sasha sit at my feet for the remainder of time they were here they got the hint to leave her alone in the end when I said enough is enough leave her alone before she bites one of you. I know it was harsh and a bit mean but I had enough of them hurting her and annoying her to the point where she was growling at them and running to me for protection.

What would you have done? None of the family like the kids going over there house because they can't control them when they are out. To me people should teach there children from a young age how to treat a dog and how not to treat a dog even of they aren't around them all the time now.

My OH half said to me when they left that he wouldn't have been so nice or patient with them which he isn't if they do something wrong he will raise his voice at them and they will stop for a while they don't like it when he tells them to do something and they won't back chat and there parents don't care that he speaks to them like it because they listen (he's not rude or mean he just raises his voice).

I know when I have my baby it won't be anyone else's place to disapline my child it will be our place to do so and I sure as heck won't sit there and watch my child do something they have been told not to do and do nothing. If my OHs mother was here at the time it would have been a completely different story with them she wouldn't have been nice about it at all and they would of been yelled at and told to go away from her in not so nice terms because that's the way she is lol so in my defence I was nice about it I really didnt want to be but I had to be because there kids.

Sorry its so long it just frustrates me when people don't listen and think they know your dog better then you do which is the impression I get from there parents when they know she is snappy.

Any advice on how to stop them doing this would be appreciated I dontt want to have to put Sasha out the back when people come over this is her house to and she loves being around people for the attention.

[Mia-Blue]

This is a very difficult one for you, I don't envy your situation.

You really do have my sympathies, but unless you have the parents of the children on side I cannot see it getting much better.

When I have visitors the genera rule is Mia is with us in the living room. However as she is still a young pup, 10 months I feel our situations are different. My main visitors with young children are my sister with her 9 and 3 year old, and my brother with his 2 year old.

My sister is on my wave length and we have spent a lot of time working on teaching Mia not to jump, and teaching the children not to poke, screach and run. My ability to have the children listen and take on board what I am telling them now means everyone gets on together, but if Mia, as she is still so young and bouncy becomes too silly she will go into time out, the children also understand if they do not follow my ground rules they will also be in time out....its a good balance. That said when my brother visits, although he likes Mia he has told me he feels nervous with her in the same room as his son. Now I respect this and during these visits Mia will go out in the run, or will be in the kitchen with a treat. This isn't my ideal, but I relax with it ad at the end of the day if Mia inadvertently hurt my nephew I would be very upset. I hope ad Mia matures and Jack grows this will change, but ay present my priority is to protect both Mia and jack. I certainly would not want Jack to grow to be afraid of dogs.

But the key for me on handling the dog/child situation is that I have spoken to both sets of parents and together we have come to an agreed decision on how best to ensure we all feel happy. All the children who come into my home are taught they have to follow my rules of leaving Mia alone when she is in her bed, they do not pull at her or poke her. And if I see any of them doing anything wrong whilst in my home, then I do tell them off, I am always firm and will explain the reason to the child. And in the same instance if I was at anothers home and one of my children miss behaved I would not contest to the home owners telling my children they had done something wrong, children need to learn respect of other peoples rules..........don't be afraid to tell the children off they need to learn.

My suggestion would be speak to the parents, write firm dog rules, the eldest is old enough for this, and keep up with the explanation of your reasons to the children, and have consequences and rewards for their behavior.....stickers for following rules, and sit still on my sofa if not.

I don't envy you.....good luck x

[*jax*]

Could you distract the kids with some toys? And i always think reward is better than punishment with dogs and kids so maybe treats for leaving Sasha alone would help. It should be the parents responsibility really but if this results in them being smacked its a tough one.

[mydiamond]

I hate little children like that =\ I can still "tolerate" the two years old--which means I won't really blame him--because I think he's just imitating his older brother, but the 6 years old should know better and him behaving like that is really unacceptable. If that was in my house I would definitely keep Diamond in my room until they leave. I'm gonna tell the kids they can't see my dog if they're still behaving like that. Although my decision might not teach the children anything, I'm much more interested in my boy's safety x) 

[Elyse]

And this, ladies and gents, is why I don't want children. They're evil at the best of times.

 

I don't envy your situation at all. I like what Mia said, with the stickers - when volunteering at a daycare for my community service hours (NEVER AGAIN!!), I would give stickers (gold stars) to those who behaved. The one at the end of the day that had the most gold stars were the winners and got something at the end of the day. The ones that misbehaved lost gold stars - and if they lost too many they would get a time out, their parents would be called, and etc. 

 

I learned this 'tactic' from my Mom - she would give my brother and I gold stars when we did something good, and if we kept atleast 20 by the end of the week (doing bad things would cost you stars), then we would go to the store to get pokemon cards. It worked.

[Mazz]

I would have asked them all to please leave.  That would also be the last time they would come to my house.  It might be tough, but as long as people tolerate, and there is no accountability by the parents, the kids will continue to behave badly and who knows how they will turn out.

[Removed #5]

I'm with Mazz on this one ... beside the simple "It's my house, so it's my rules!", there's also the possibility the the kid will get bit - it's not worth it.

Relatives can get to be a pain, but if the choice is offending my relatives or taking the chance that my dog will bite one of their kids, it's a no brainer!

[Andy]

I would have asked them all to please leave.  That would also be the last time they would come to my house.  It might be tough, but as long as people tolerate, and there is no accountability by the parents, the kids will continue to behave badly and who knows how they will turn out.

 

 

I'm with Mazz on this one ... beside the simple "It's my house, so it's my rules!", there's also the possibility the the kid will get bit - it's not worth it.

Relatives can get to be a pain, but if the choice is offending my relatives or taking the chance that my dog will bite one of their kids, it's a no brainer!

 

Yep I third that 

[stormchaser09]

you could always try 'leave my dog alone or I will bite you' failing that put the kids in the crate and leave the dog to relax. Unfortunately some folks are just a bit stupid when it comes to controlling their kids and can't see that their little angels are just a pain in the ***.

I feel for you as some of my friends had kids like that. e.g one used to use a store tannoy system to find out where her kids were at any given time rather than keeping them with her when out shopping.

My only advice is to do whatever it takes to keep your dog safe and away from any risks of her biting anyone until her seizures are under control and she is used to sensible people and their offspring. These kinds of folks are usually the ones who shout the loudest if your dog did actually bite one of their kids.(I work in a nursery and some parents really are unbelievably stupid when it comes to raising their kids).

[Bambi92]

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions its much appreciated.

There parents tried the reward system with them at home for different things it worked for a day and that was it not sure whether it would be different if it was someone doing it though ill have to try it when I have the money to get some stickers and stuff for it. I was very tempted to ask them to leave but if I did I would have had the rest of the family on my case and at this present time I couldn't handle that.

There father knows ill only tolerate so much before I snap and when it comes to my animals everyone knows not to get in my way lol ill try a few different things and see how I go.

you could always try 'leave my dog alone or I will bite you' failing that put the kids in the crate and leave the dog to relax.

Haha if I had a crate I probably would do that! Oops lol

[Rachel-Phoenix]

Yeah I would have kicked them out of my house and made it clear that they werent welcome back.