mydiamond Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Bambi92's thread reminds me... What do you do when you have a guest that is rude to your dog? How far would you tolerate a guest before calling them "rude"? This one experience happened many months ago, but I still have an unsettled debate regarding this issue with my parents x) here goes: So my mom's friends and my aunt paid a visit because they wanted to see Diamond. Nobody (besides my maid and Diamond) was home that time. I wasn't there so I can't tell you what happened exactly, but my aunt then gave one of my mom's friends permission to walk Diamond :wacko: can you imagine how do I feel when I saw Diamond being walked by a complete stranger on my way home from school? Luckily I decided to just follow this stranger wherever he goes and eventually he reached my house. I was infuriated. NO ONE walks my dog without my permission!!! When I came home, I spoke (okay, I admit I kinda raised my voice but not that much really) with my aunt and my mom's friends. I told them I don't like how they walk my dog without my permission and that he has some phobias that requires him being walked with someone who knows what to do. But what I got in reply is just a lot of laughs. They think it's funny how I thought Dime got stolen then my aunt told my mom what happened, and she sat me down telling me that it's rude to speak like that to someone older than me. I told her I wouldn't mind if they went away with my clothes, shoes, books or even my laptop but DIAMOND is a whole different thing. He's my baby and by "stealing" him like that they are being very, very rude to me. Including my aunt, who somehow acts like she owns the dog. My mom said I should just deal with it because "I have to be polite". And she's right. I know I was at fault for raising my voice on someone older, but come on... Stealing my dog? =\ Well, honestly, I have never let any guest I don't personally know walk Diamond. Even if they asked for my permission I don't know... I just kinda don't feel secure when Diamond's in the hands of someone inexperienced. He could've pulled their arms off because he always walks nicely at first then jumps like a rocket when there's a cat nearby. They could've dropped his leash when that happens but sometimes I wonder if I'm being rude by rejecting a polite request to walk my dog. I also wonder what do I have to say when a rude guest (who knows one day I might have another one) came in for a visit... I can't tell off someone older, so what can I say? What do you guys usually do? In that case where Dime is "being stolen", what do you think I'm supposed to say? Was just pondering thanks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingsolo Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Your culture is to respect your elders which is great and others could learn from that but respect is 2 way and the visitors should have respected your ownership of diamond and not just taken him out without permission. Do you live with your parents? I ask as this obviously why your mum could feel awkward . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 yes I live with my parents.. at 16 years old there really isn't anywhere else to live at Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 I have yet to say something to my cousin when she locks Suka up whenever we go over for dinner (family functions, etc). She's constantly paranoid he would hurt her kid, even though Suka's demonstrated time and time again he's amazing with kids. (Regardless, I would obviously still watch him like a hawk, and intervene if I know Suka is starting to get growly) Because he has SA, when separated from us, he yelps, cries, scratches at, and pees on the floor. Then I get in trouble because he's "my dog" and he's "poorly trained" and I'm a "bad owner". It just...makes me so angry! I've told them many times I'd be keeping an eye on him - and I wouldn't let him near any kids. I even offered to wear my walking belt inside with a short leash so he's with me at all times. Nope. I told this to my Mom, and she said to not take it personally. But how can I not take it personally when they chain up MY dog, then bitch to me when he pees on their new floor!? And during dinner I have to listen to his desperate yelping and crying, not enjoying my dinner at all, because honestly it really hurts to hear him make those sounds. Nobody else seems to understand... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmscott Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Well I certainly wish more 16 year-olds in the US were as well spoken as you are. As someone mentioned, it is a different set of values in your culture, so I can't really understand the scenario. From my experience, sometimes you just have to say "No, you may not [pet, walk, breath the same air as] my dog." But I know it's not always that easy. With my family, I finally had to put my foot down. If they do not respect my ownership of my animal, and they don't want to act like a mature,respectful, responsible adults when I say "No", then they shouldn't expect to be treated like adults, when they ignore my decision. Although these days my family doesn't know our address, so avoiding them is a whole lot easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazz Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Olivia, I can understand to some degree, why you reacted. But from my perspective, no harm no foul. The best approach would have been to hold your composure, and once they had left, discuss the issue with your mother. Even though that's not what happened, I would not lose any sleep over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolarStorm Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 I personally would not let anyone walk either of my dogs unless they asked permission and I wholly trusted them. They are like babies to me, how would they like it if you walked off with their baby/child without them knowing? You need to get them to understand your reasons for anxiety in a situation like this. Explain the scenarios of what could go wrong and how upset you would be, try and be calm & rational when doing this though or they won't take you seriously. As said before your culture is very different from ours but that shouldn't stop from you from reasoning with them and maybe come to a compromise. Yes no harm was done but if the next time your mum wants to show off your dog maybe wait until you are there or ask you first? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidnightPaws Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 I would not let anyone walk my dogs without my permission, i only let people i trust and who own big strong dogs walk mine if needed. I don't like the idea of someone else walking my dogs because i'd be freaking out about what would happen if they got loose. I wouldn't even like it much if Megan (Mobezilla) walked my dogs. In that situation i would have been polite and talked to my mom about it later. I would have tried to make it clear how uncomfortable it made me feel. Luckily I've never had that happen and it may not, i don't think anyone would ever want to walk my girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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