Off To Live On My Own And I'm Scared

[Frenchie]

It has been decided that I will be moving to Broadstairs in a few weeks to look after the house of a family friend who will now be living in a home as she can no longer look after herself.

Although I'm excited to live by the seaside again, I'm also really scared, I recently turned 19. My mum will be moving to Horley which is about 3 hours away by public transport, and the rest of family live in France, so I'll be all by myself, I'm a real mummy's girl, no in the way my mum does everything for me, no no, I'm perfectly able to look after myself, I cook her dinner every night etc.. Its just I love my mum more than anything and I emotionaly hate being away from her, I'm scared that I won't be able to cope without seeing her.

I don't know the area at all, I'll be two hours away from all my friends, and there's all the worries about paying bills, running a house etc..

I think I'm just scared to be lonely and in a place I don't know, and I just needed to talk about it lol... So I'm wondering how did you guys cope when you moved out? Was it difficult?

At least Mishka is coming with me! I think she'll love it by the seaside with a massive garden, away from stressful London.

[Storm Angel n Auroras Mum]

Yeah it was hard. Worse with kids.

I had to keep asking mum.for help with shopping.

[jmscott]

I wish I could help.  I moved 3000 miles to get away from my mother; I miss the place more than the person. And Zach's first experience away from home was when he was dropped off at college. I do mean dropped off. His parents got word of a hurricane building and left him on the curb at the University with all his stuff so they could get back home before it hit land. He's a go with the flow guy, it didn't bother him much.

[Bambi92]

It is hard and scarey at first but once you get into a routine (if you do that sort of thing) you'll be fine I've pretty much been on my own since I was 14 my mum and brother moved 1100kms (14hours) away and dad was never around. About 9mths ago I moved in with my partner in our own house that was so much harder to do because I have servere anxiety of being alone (which is why I think I have so many animals lol) but it got easier.

You'll be right you'll have your beautiful Mishka there to help you along and keep you company

[valkyries]

the worst part is being lonely until you meet people, but your young you'll be fine just get out there, do some research on the area xxxx

[alexandthedog]

It is scary at first but its also a big adventure and a lot of fun. Get mishka and go explore and discover.

[DuramaxDiesel]

The first time I ever moved out, I was living with an ex in his Dad's house, and I was stuck paying the bills because he wouldn't get a job... I was working 55+ hours a week. Needless to say, I moved home after about 3 months of dealing with that.

 

Then I moved out on my own to a house my cousin was renting to me. It was out in the middle of nowhere, so I got Diesel to keep me company. Then I met my hubby and he moved in a few weeks after we met (he moved out because of his Mother wanting to know all of his business...)

 

Then we bought a house after 6 months...or...HE bought the house, we weren't married yet.

 

Everything was fine, money-wise, until last summer when everything decided to break on it's own...we had to pay $2,000 here then $3,000 there and I wasn't working, then our main vehicle decided it needed $2,000 in repairs...we had a house payment, student loans, a credit card bill, a vehicle loan, etc. So we had to ask to borrow money from his mom and dad... which was hard, but I am glad they were there for us.

 

And now, after Christmas (We each get $1,000 from his grandmother for Christmas...) and tax returns, we paid everything off and are in the green again.

 

Being on your own is hard at times, but there's freedom, there's learning, there's trust, etc. I am glad I live within 10 minutes of both sets of parents, but at the same time, I wish I lived on the other side of the world. My parents hate that I don't work (I do photography out of the house and sell jewelry and sell organic chicken eggs for my spending money) and tirelessly tell me about jobs or things that I should do. My husband believes that the man should provide for his family, that's how he was raised. I do the shopping, bill paying, cleaning, etc, and my husband allows me to stay home and do what I want most of the time. My in-laws, are pretty laid back, but they're weird, too. That's a whole other post.

 

I hope that you get comfortable where you are going and realize that it's not really so bad. Maybe you could make a time once a week or every other week where you could visit your mom? And if your friends don't want to come see you, then that is their problem and their loss, and they really aren't true friends. I lost a lot of "friends" when I moved out...

[Frenchie]

Yeah it was hard. Worse with kids.

I had to keep asking mum.for help with shopping.

I can imagine it must of been so hard with kids.

I don't even know if there are any shops near by, or dear! :/

I wish I could help. I moved 3000 miles to get away from my mother; I miss the place more than the person. And Zach's first experience away from home was when he was dropped off at college. I do mean dropped off. His parents got word of a hurricane building and left him on the curb at the University with all his stuff so they could get back home before it hit land. He's a go with the flow guy, it didn't bother him much.

That is really brave! I probably would of had a mental breakdown in both siatuations lol

It is hard and scarey at first but once you get into a routine (if you do that sort of thing) you'll be fine I've pretty much been on my own since I was 14 my mum and brother moved 1100kms (14hours) away and dad was never around. About 9mths ago I moved in with my partner in our own house that was so much harder to do because I have servere anxiety of being alone (which is why I think I have so many animals lol) but it got easier.

You'll be right you'll have your beautiful Mishka there to help you along and keep you company

Thank you, I'm not much of a routine person but I might have to follow your advise on that one, it could help me settle in. And yes, at least she'll be here, don't think I could cope without her!

the worst part is being lonely until you meet people, but your young you'll be fine just get out there, do some research on the area xxxx

Yes, we're going there this weekend to check it out, so I'll have a look around the town etc

Im a bit worried about meeting people though, I'm quite a shy person so I'll have to work on that or I'll be forever alone lol!

It is scary at first but its also a big adventure and a lot of fun. Get mishka and go explore and discover.

Yes I have to say I'm really excited about exploring the area and the beach with Mishka, it'll be such a nice change from the same old London parks!

The first time I ever moved out, I was living with an ex in his Dad's house, and I was stuck paying the bills because he wouldn't get a job... I was working 55+ hours a week. Needless to say, I moved home after about 3 months of dealing with that.

Then I moved out on my own to a house my cousin was renting to me. It was out in the middle of nowhere, so I got Diesel to keep me company. Then I met my hubby and he moved in a few weeks after we met (he moved out because of his Mother wanting to know all of his business...)

Then we bought a house after 6 months...or...HE bought the house, we weren't married yet.

Everything was fine, money-wise, until last summer when everything decided to break on it's own...we had to pay $2,000 here then $3,000 there and I wasn't working, then our main vehicle decided it needed $2,000 in repairs...we had a house payment, student loans, a credit card bill, a vehicle loan, etc. So we had to ask to borrow money from his mom and dad... which was hard, but I am glad they were there for us.

And now, after Christmas (We each get $1,000 from his grandmother for Christmas...) and tax returns, we paid everything off and are in the green again.

Being on your own is hard at times, but there's freedom, there's learning, there's trust, etc. I am glad I live within 10 minutes of both sets of parents, but at the same time, I wish I lived on the other side of the world. My parents hate that I don't work (I do photography out of the house and sell jewelry and sell organic chicken eggs for my spending money) and tirelessly tell me about jobs or things that I should do. My husband believes that the man should provide for his family, that's how he was raised. I do the shopping, bill paying, cleaning, etc, and my husband allows me to stay home and do what I want most of the time. My in-laws, are pretty laid back, but they're weird, too. That's a whole other post.

I hope that you get comfortable where you are going and realize that it's not really so bad. Maybe you could make a time once a week or every other week where you could visit your mom? And if your friends don't want to come see you, then that is their problem and their loss, and they really aren't true friends. I lost a lot of

"friends" when I moved out...

[Frenchie]

Oh my goodness, sounds like you've been to hell and back, well done on sorting everything out, it must of been so tough, family definately helps!

With my mum it will all depend on her job, she works very hard and its the main reason all this is happening, so it'll deppend on her work

Concerning my friends, my best friend is heavily pregnant and is due soon, I can't expect her to come with a new born baby, so hopedully I'll be able to come back to London once in a whole to see her my other best friend is off to university so we'll be seeing each other during her holidays, but yes you are right for all the other friends, if they're not willing to make an effort then I can do without them

[Stranger]

i didnt so much move out, actually i havent moved at all, my mum packed up and moved to australia, and my brother down to brighton to uni.

 

i guess it isnt the same as i am still living in a home, alone, that i was brought up in, in an area where i know everyone.

 

The worse thing was learning how to manage all the bills. As much as i paid my way before mum moved out, having everything passed over was a shock.

 

But tbh its an amazing feeling. Being able to say that your responsible for everything, and feeling proud to have people round and see your hard work and home.

 

 

Me and my mum were best friends, still are, and if i am honest it doesnt really feel that different. We skype alot and send pictures and emails, so its like i talk to her face to face every day.

 

 

My only advice...dont be afraid to ask for help, there is nothing wrong with not being able to cope or getting in a muddle at the beginning.

[Removed #5]

It is scary at first but its also a big adventure and a lot of fun. Get mishka and go explore and discover.

 

Friends shouldn't be much of a problem, take your beautiful Husky for a walk and you'll have people stopping to admire and chat.

I left home at 18, hitch hiked across the US and Canada ( it figured to be about 5000 miles worth of zig-zagging to get about 3000 miles! )  Of all the people I met, I only remember one questionable ride - the rest were fun, meeting new people and swapping stories.

To quote from Will Rogers "I never met a man I didn't like" just friends I didn't know I had.  Give most people a chance and you'll find that you can learn a little something, be it good or bad, from everyone!

Moving out on your own is a challenge no doubt, but it's also an opportunity to see things you never dreamed existed!

[LittleLuka]

i loved being on my own. obviously, i still do. my mom is my best friend but you couldn't pay me to move back in with her lol. my relationships with my family have actually strengthened with me moved out.

[Frenchie]

i didnt so much move out, actually i havent moved at all, my mum packed up and moved to australia, and my brother down to brighton to uni.

 

i guess it isnt the same as i am still living in a home, alone, that i was brought up in, in an area where i know everyone.

 

The worse thing was learning how to manage all the bills. As much as i paid my way before mum moved out, having everything passed over was a shock.

 

But tbh its an amazing feeling. Being able to say that your responsible for everything, and feeling proud to have people round and see your hard work and home.

 

 

Me and my mum were best friends, still are, and if i am honest it doesnt really feel that different. We skype alot and send pictures and emails, so its like i talk to her face to face every day.

 

 

My only advice...dont be afraid to ask for help, there is nothing wrong with not being able to cope or getting in a muddle at the beginning.

I'll definately try, I'm really stubborn when it comes to asking for help, I think I just don't want people to know when I struggle, but I guess I'll have to if I really am.

Its great to know that your mum moving away didn't affect your relationship!

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[Frenchie]

 

Friends shouldn't be much of a problem, take your beautiful Husky for a walk and you'll have people stopping to admire and chat.

I left home at 18, hitch hiked across the US and Canada ( it figured to be about 5000 miles worth of zig-zagging to get about 3000 miles! )  Of all the people I met, I only remember one questionable ride - the rest were fun, meeting new people and swapping stories.

To quote from Will Rogers "I never met a man I didn't like" just friends I didn't know I had.  Give most people a chance and you'll find that you can learn a little something, be it good or bad, from everyone!

Moving out on your own is a challenge no doubt, but it's also an opportunity to see things you never dreamed existed!

Oh wow! That sounds amazing, you must of had quite some adventures!

That is a lovely saying, and very true, we can learn something from.everyone when it comes to life lessons

Yes you're right, Mishka definately makes things easier when meeting new people, she's like my confidence booster lol, I'm quite a shy person and wouldn't engage in conversation just like that, but when Mishka is with me, its so much easier, conversation is much easier when its about her lol, and I find people are so much more welcoming and friendly.

So hopefully we'll meet some interesting people!

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[Frenchie]

i loved being on my own. obviously, i still do. my mom is my best friend but you couldn't pay me to move back in with her lol. my relationships with my family have actually strengthened with me moved out.

Lol! And thats great to know

I think I'll be on the phone to my mum everyday lol

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[LittleLuka]

Lol! And thats great to know

I think I'll be on the phone to my mum everyday lol

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oh believe me i still talk to mine on the phone every day nothing wrong with that!

[Andy]

New challenges and experiences can only build you as a person and enrich your character.

Good luck.

[Frenchie]

New challenges and experiences can only build you as a person and enrich your character.

Good luck.

Yes I agree I've just never been really good with change, its all a bit scary to me

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[Andy]

Yes I agree I've just never been really good with change, its all a bit scary to me

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Like going on a rollercoaster. . .

Scary is good

[ponder85]

Friends shouldn't be much of a problem, take your beautiful Husky for a walk and you'll have people stopping to admire and chat.

I left home at 18, hitch hiked across the US and Canada ( it figured to be about 5000 miles worth of zig-zagging to get about 3000 miles! )  Of all the people I met, I only remember one questionable ride - the rest were fun, meeting new people and swapping stories.

To quote from Will Rogers "I never met a man I didn't like" just friends I didn't know I had.  Give most people a chance and you'll find that you can learn a little something, be it good or bad, from everyone!

Moving out on your own is a challenge no doubt, but it's also an opportunity to see things you never dreamed existed!

I'm gonna take a guess that you're a lil older than TS.

[Removed #5]

I'm gonna take a guess that you're a lil older than TS.

 

Maybe a little, maybe more than just a little.  If some youngster told me he was going to hitch-hike across country today I'd tell them they were (at least) nuts and advise against it.  It was an adventure for me, in the days when it was reasonably safe, for both driver and hiker, to hitch a ride.

My real answer to her was that there is adventure to be had in life - we just have to be more careful.

[Husky-gunner]

Having lived in Blackpool for 10 years 1 bit of advice I will give you is find out what will be open out of season because once the season ends the place will be like a ghost town

[joshmp5]

I loved being away.  Yes I missed my family and such, but you have to take it for what it is.  Enjoy the time. You will make friends and have a good time. It's what you make of it you know...

[ponder85]

Maybe a little, maybe more than just a little.  If some youngster told me he was going to hitch-hike across country today I'd tell them they were (at least) nuts and advise against it.  It was an adventure for me, in the days when it was reasonably safe, for both driver and hiker, to hitch a ride.

My real answer to her was that there is adventure to be had in life - we just have to be more careful.

Got ya. I envy your generation that had the luxuries of doing things like that.

[Elyse]

I'm at school for 8 months of the year, so during that time I'm away from home (6 hours...) and living with some other students in a house.

 

I was raised to have a very strong relationship with my family - to put family first above everything else. Thus, it was really hard for me to leave them for the first time. I got homesick a lot - even when I visit them for a few days every 6-8 weeks or so. 

 

Skyping every weekend helps...