Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I jokingly said if we ever split that Chula is mine because I spend much more time taking care of her. So he threw a little fit and said if that's the case that he's not going to take care of her at all anymore, even after I said I was just joking. Then he went to bed even though I had taken time to fix him dinner. So now I have to walk her in the dark and I'm a little scared cause my neighborhood isn't the safest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 looks like someone's having a bad day even if so he shouldn't be taking it out on you... I'd delay the walk until the next morning if I were you. Safety's first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I swear something's in the air! Anyway maybe he was mad because he didn't want to think about if you split up. Regardless you were just joking and pointing out that you take care of her. He'll get over it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 (edited) No he's mad because technically I bought him Chula for his birthday, so he says she belongs to him. But seriously I do 80% of care-taking. I buy her food and toys. The commands she knows because I taught her. And she's way more bonded to me than him. So I do feel like she is mine. But we had obviously been joking up until that point. I mean we have been together over 8 years and dealt with way bigger issues so not sure why he was such a baby. We have joked about it in the past, I guess today he was just extra cranky. And just now I went to take a shower and Chula ate half a Chinese takeout menu. And she's farting up a storm. Sigh. Edited August 9, 2013 by Chula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Plus nothing is more annoying to me than fixing him dinner and him throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat. I'm not a restaurant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Plus nothing is more annoying to me than fixing him dinner and him throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat. I'm not a restaurant! I can eat it for him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 No he's mad because technically I bought him Chula for his birthday, so he says she belongs to him. But seriously I do 80% of care-taking. I buy her food and toys. The commands she knows because I taught her. And she's way more bonded to me than him. So I do feel like she is mine. But we had obviously been joking up until that point. I mean we have been together over 8 years and dealt with way bigger issues so not sure why he was such a baby. We have joked about it in the past, I guess today he was just extra cranky. And just now I went to take a shower and Chula ate half a Chinese takeout menu. And she's farting up a storm. Sigh. you know what guys you need a second dog x) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Then they'd both be mine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Sometimes we mere males can take a simple joke like this to heart. The thought of splitting up can be terrifying, add that with losing you pet as well and... I don't mean to sound critical as I don't pretend to know any issues around this. I am sure that all will blow over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Had it come out of nowhere I could totally see that. But since we've joked about whose dog she is in the past, I think he was just cranky. He has said it to me before too in a joking manner. Except he says it when she's naughty and wants me to take care of her. I'll give him a pass tonight and assume he was just crabby and tired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Had it come out of nowhere I could totally see that. But since we've joked about whose dog she is in the past, I think he was just cranky. He has said it to me before too in a joking manner. Except he says it when she's naughty and wants me to take care of her. I'll give him a pass tonight and assume he was just crabby and tired. Yeah, I don't know the whole story for sure, Good on you for giving him a pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 honestly, i reckon my hubby would fight me for storm. but if we did split id take all the dogs and the kids he could have weekend custody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormy Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm taking both of mine as 100 percent took care of them both. I personally think it was a little harsh what you said as you have been together so long and aren't planning on splitting up etc it probably worried him plus he may think he does help out more than you think he does and you've basically just told him he don't help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Men are funny creatures like already said sometimes they can take stuff like his to heart , he obviously really love's Chula n the thought ov loosing u both probably upset him a little even if you've joked about it before , sometimes tho they won't admit it they have sensitive days just like us women , maybe once he's up just go n give him a big cuddle n remind him how much u love him , and if u can get him sitting down n get Chula in on the cuddle then even better :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazza Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 At the end of the day both of you would be upset if you had a dog together and one or the other took it, I know if my boys where taken if be upset and I know if I took them my oh would be upset. So I guess maybe he was having a bad day:) I believe it should be a joint descission though you can't just take and think everything is going to be ok cause it dosent work like that, but at the end if theday aswell you have been together for 8 years and you clearly love each other so there shouldn't be a problem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazeediamonds Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 IF u did ever part ways and a big IF at least ur dog will b with one of u. A couple i know split and neither one could afford to take the dog so he ended up going to strangers. :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 But he doesn't help. He knows that, and admits it. And when she's bad he has no problem joking that she's mine. Anyway. I'm sure it all sounds harsh to someone who didn't hear the tone. Or who doesn't know the dynamics of the relationship. I can assure you that he wouldnt cry over me or the dog. It's just not who he is, and I accepted that about him long time ago. I guess I'm sorry I posted this. I know it's hard to explain things properly on a forum and wasn't looking to upset anyone. I'll keep my personal life personal from now on and only ask dog questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 But he doesn't help. He knows that, and admits it. And when she's bad he has no problem joking that she's mine. Anyway. I'm sure it all sounds harsh to someone who didn't hear the tone. Or who doesn't know the dynamics of the relationship. I can assure you that he wouldnt cry over me or the dog. It's just not who he is, and I accepted that about him long time ago. I guess I'm sorry I posted this. I know it's hard to explain things properly on a forum and wasn't looking to upset anyone. I'll keep my personal life personal from now on and only ask dog questions. sorry if I or any of us upset you.. I'm sure everyone was just trying to help. Decision is yours, but if you ever have another bad day and need to rant we're here for you xxx EDIT: hang on, doesn't sound fair dragging everyone by saying "we". But I will be here that's for sure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazeediamonds Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Oh Emily dont feel like u cant talk to anyone my ears r always open. U r right its hard to explain snd put things across how u want them to be. If u wnt someone to talk to u can have my mail address. Just tell me how to give it to you privately x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm just tired! And I felt like what I said made others upset and that wasn't my goal at all. But honestly, if he's willing to ignore the dog because of something I said then that should give some idea of his commitment to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I don't know about the others but from what I read everyone is just trying to offer advice because you sound upset and they want to help it sure sounds like a terrible day for you though... time for a cup of hot tea, a good book and a nice relaxing music? you know you deserve it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm sure I'm just being too sensitive. Had very little sleep, and of course he didn't let the dog out when he woke up to go to work. I already told him I was sorry when I explained I was kidding so not sure what else I can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I think we all need to vent sometimes and it is easy to do on the forum. It helps to get it out sometimes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 But he doesn't help. He knows that, and admits it. And when she's bad he has no problem joking that she's mine. Anyway. I'm sure it all sounds harsh to someone who didn't hear the tone. Or who doesn't know the dynamics of the relationship. I can assure you that he wouldnt cry over me or the dog. It's just not who he is, and I accepted that about him long time ago. I guess I'm sorry I posted this. I know it's hard to explain things properly on a forum and wasn't looking to upset anyone. I'll keep my personal life personal from now on and only ask dog questions. my fella is the same , he never shows his feelings at all and whilst him crying over something isnt who he is either , i think if he lost me whilst he might not cry it would seriously break his heart and leave him gutted , hes not an overly affectionate person (has his moments tho ) but i know he is scared of loosing me , and loves my dogs as much as his own n would be gutted if anything happened to them too my family dont really help much with the dogs either unless its to fuss or play with them , if they are naughty or throw up or anything they are immediately my dogs , it does my head in but i know that even if they dont help out as much as i would like that they still adore them just as much as me i dont think youve upset anyone , youve posted a thread and people are trying to help you based on their experiences , obviously we dont know the ins and outs of your relationship but we do try n help best we can regardless this might be a dog forum but we are like one big family , there are people on here who know A LOT about my life and whats going on in it lately that i wouldnt even tell some of my closest friends , if you need any advice if its dog related or personal ,, i hope ,, if u cant find anyone else to talk to that you know that we are here for u regardless of what it might be , and we do our best to try not to come across as judgemental as we really aren't those kinds of people , if it does come across that way u just need to remember that we dont mean it that way its just sometimes over the internet things can be read or come across in a completely different way to how they are meant to hope your ok and your fella is feeling better too about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Life can be stressful and I am sure we are all guilty of the odd episode of intolerance... erm, well, I am guilty quite often Whether it was one or both of you who were intolerant of the situation is not important anymore. I don't believe anyone is thinking poorly of you for making the post, some have just offered an alternative perspective, but none of us would pretend to know about your personal situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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