Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Thanks for the thoughts and advice. I'm sure after some decent sleep I will feel less rantish! Truthfully I've put up with a lot of garbage from him (including finding other women's makeup in my house after returning from visiting my family, having other women tell me they've been with him while I was out of town, blah blah blah). He's no saint. And if I didn't leave him for those things, I'm not sure what he's so concerned about. I've made it pretty clear I'm his doormat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Oh dear, I am really sorry to here this, that it truly horrible! Based on this, I unreservedly retract any defence I may have suggested regarding your OH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 you shouldnt be a doormat for anyone hun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormy Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Thanks for the thoughts and advice. I'm sure after some decent sleep I will feel less rantish! Truthfully I've put up with a lot of garbage from him (including finding other women's makeup in my house after returning from visiting my family, having other women tell me they've been with him while I was out of town, blah blah blah). He's no saint. And if I didn't leave him for those things, I'm not sure what he's so concerned about. I've made it pretty clear I'm his doormat. That is awful!!! I definitely dont stick up for him now atall! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 That's why she's mine, because he doesn't really care about anyone or anything. I'm convinced he has some kind of personality disorder. He's honestly incapable of really loving anything. But he works hard, he's funny, and we've been together forever. It just seemed easier to stay, and forgive. He's made a lot of changes and is growing and maturing, but he's always made it clear if I left he'd just move on. It's who he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Good news is I've decided to take a personal day and not go to work. Chula and I are going to go have some fun. I think a walk by the river, a trip to the dog park and stopping off at the pet store for a treat and a toy. At least she loves me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Sounds like fun! I could use one of those too haha. I might do that this weekend and just take Nikko. I am jealous sometimes because taking 2 or 3 dogs somewhere is an absolute nightmare, but I feel guilty leaving one or two of them at home. Good news is I've decided to take a personal day and not go to work. Chula and I are going to go have some fun. I think a walk by the river, a trip to the dog park and stopping off at the pet store for a treat and a toy. At least she loves me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazeediamonds Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Emily I was a doormat once and took lots of physical and mental abuse also. Then there comes a day when u wake up and think enough is enough i deserve better. I left and never looked backed. I then found my prince charming had a daughter and been living together happily for 10yrs and still going strong. Not one arguement or fall out in 10yrs. I wish u luck honey and hope u have a lovely day off. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormy Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 As you know I have just split with my ex and I now believe it's not worth being UN happy just because its easier... I stayed for a while as it was. I'm taking both dogs to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leyka&Diva Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I used to joke about this with my ex, we did split up and i have the dogs lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Well that was fun. She had so much fun in the river, and this time at the dog park she was much more confident. It was a lot of the same dogs as when we went a few days ago so that helped. Only got scared by one dog who was trying to play with her. She's now crashed on the floor. Tired husky! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 There have been moments when I was so close to walking out the door. But it had been a lot better the last year or so. He was working hard to regain my trust. My friends refer to him as a manipulative child, and sometimes he is. But I'm not perfect either. He just knows how to push my buttons, and honestly the fact that he went to bed without dinner is what bothered me most. I make dinner just for him, food that I don't eat because I rarely eat meat, because I know he works hard and is tired when he gets home. He is a brick mason and has been putting in 60-70 hour weeks. So for him to treat it like it's nothing drives me crazy. I'm not going to be making him dinner anymore. He can eat frozen burritos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarKFSmith Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Thanks for the thoughts and advice. I'm sure after some decent sleep I will feel less rantish! Truthfully I've put up with a lot of garbage from him (including finding other women's makeup in my house after returning from visiting my family, having other women tell me they've been with him while I was out of town, blah blah blah). He's no saint. And if I didn't leave him for those things, I'm not sure what he's so concerned about. I've made it pretty clear I'm his doormat. I tried hard not to post to this thread but in the end I couldn't stop myself. As another poster has said already - nobody in this world should be anyone's doormat. You deserve better. Do you want me to send my two girls over to bite him? Hugs needed all round I think! Glad you had a good time at the river. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Let's hope he knows to heat them up first I don't blame you, I would be mad too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I really can appreciate that in certain situations, joking like that would be mean spirited. But it wasn't like that at all. It started out as funny, both of us kidding about things related to the dog, as we often do, and then it escalated somehow. I thought he was still joking with me, but then he got mean. And honestly, I think if we did split, he would only want to keep the dog to spite me. He doesn't have time to have a dog, and definitely not the patience for an adolescent husky. Plus he's allergic to her. She's now sitting on the pillows on the couch behind me like a kitty with her head on my shoulder. Gotta admit she's a wee bit stinky from the river! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Awe! tired Chula She needs a spritz of deodorizer lol. I always keep some of the furminator brand doggie deodorizer for when they start to smell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleLuka Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 my ex and i used to joke about this as well. now we're at this point and i have both of the dogs. lol guys are emotional whether or not they admit it. he probably was in a bad mood and took it to heart for once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleLuka Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 As you know I have just split with my ex and I now believe it's not worth being UN happy just because its easier... I stayed for a while as it was. I'm taking both dogs to Agreed from someone else who has to start all over by myself. it was comfortable and i cared about him but i wasn't happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Well maybe I will swallow my pride and try to apologize again and explain that I thought we were joking around. I don't think he was hurt. I think he was mad. But I suppose better to be the bigger person and err on the side of kindness. Jason I don't think any deodorizing spray is gonna destink her! She needs to go through a carwash strapped to the hood of a car! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleLuka Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Bottom line is EVERYONE deserves better than to be a doormat. Excuse me for just chiming in, i was behind on reading posts. I loved my life for the most part with Josh, it was great coming home to someone every day, and not sleeping in an empty bed. But now that we're not together I realize I've pretty much been single for awhile. He let me go to the UK by myself and didn't even seem bothered by it. He never went out with me or had conversations with me. I may be alone and having to start all over by myself but i realize that i've got myself to depend on and honestly that's all i need. i'll find someone one day (in no rush obviously lol) and that person will get me but until then i plan on living my life and having fun. Don't stay in an unsatisfying relationship because it's comfortable, that's my advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asslinn Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Well maybe I will swallow my pride and try to apologize again and explain that I thought we were joking around. I don't think he was hurt. I think he was mad. But I suppose better to be the bigger person and err on the side of kindness. Jason I don't think any deodorizing spray is gonna destink her! She needs to go through a carwash strapped to the hood of a car! If you have already said sorry once, that should be enough. Don't keep saying sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I know, it really sucks feeling unappreciated and to feel like you do all of the work, trust me Sometimes I feel that way too, I always cook, constantly cleaning, walking the dogs, feed them, apply their monthly flea stuff, take them to the vet, etc. I always feel guilty leaving them home alone, so I have adjusted MY life so that I rarely have to do that. So, in the process I feel like I miss out on doing other non-dog related things. I have only went swimming once this year, and haven't gone anywhere! By the time the weekend comes around I am so damn tired of the week, and know that I have to clean that I don't feel like going anywhere, so I just stay home. Anyway, hopefully it gets better for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 Jason, I don't think he's really aware of how much I've changed my schedule and spending priorities because he's rarely home. It does sometimes get depressing when I think about all the things I no longer do, but I know she's worth it. He certainly never thanks me for taking care of "his" dog! I hope you get to do some fun things soon too. I've started taking 15 minutes in the morning to tidy up so I can at least come home to a clean house and not feel so depressed about the boring life I lead. I know, it really sucks feeling unappreciated and to feel like you do all of the work, trust me Sometimes I feel that way too, I always cook, constantly cleaning, walking the dogs, feed them, apply their monthly flea stuff, take them to the vet, etc. I always feel guilty leaving them home alone, so I have adjusted MY life so that I rarely have to do that. So, in the process I feel like I miss out on doing other non-dog related things. I have only went swimming once this year, and haven't gone anywhere! By the time the weekend comes around I am so damn tired of the week, and know that I have to clean that I don't feel like going anywhere, so I just stay home. Anyway, hopefully it gets better for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 I am with ya! I try to keep on top of the cleaning when I get home from work at 4, so by 6 or 7 everything is cleaned, dogs are walked and dinner is over so I can watch TV and drink haha. Tomorrow night I am going to a friends house for a get together, and before that I think I am taking one or all of the dogs to the dog park and for a special day out. I actually don't mind that my life has completely changed having the dogs (it does get me out of doing things I dont want to lol), but it must be nice for someone else to be able to do whatever they want to and not worry about the dogs lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 That sounds fun! I need a get together! I'll be home with the dog. OH will be working and will get home in the evening, take a shower and promptly fall asleep. Yay. Fun. I spend a lot of time alone with the dog. And beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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