I'm Gonna Lose My Job For Murder.

[Danny_Caity]

Okay, so first off, I'm 18 (this is imperative to the whole situation), and a trainee accountant, official title is 'Financial Administrator' for a fuel pump company, where my dad also works.

 

My issues started off pretty standard for a first job, making tea/coffee for the head honchos, doing everyone else's filing. It was shite, but it's money. But the woman I share an office with is determined to make me top myself.

 

She's told me to clean the toilet, made comment to the fact she thinks I'm too 'loud' (not vocally wise, my hair and makeup is apparently too much, my hair is orange and I barely wear makeup), I have to do all her work-friend's filing etc, because 'she did it when she was doing my job!' ...Well that doesn't mean I have to, it's not in my job description. She's generally just a bitter old woman. She brings my age into everything, even though I'm more qualified than her, and she knows it. She starts arguments over fricking mugs! There's loads of other stories I haven't got time to tell.

 

Oh, and I'm not allowed to go to the downstairs offices for more than 5 minutes! She has to know where I am at all times, apparently that's 'company policy for minors' ...Okay, but I'm not a minor

 

I could cope with her, and in fact she got a little better after my dad told her I go home from work crying some days at how nasty she is about personal things. But recently I've been trying to get a foot in the door, learning everyone else's jobs so I can slot in wherever I'm needed, we're MAJORLY understaffed. Hell, I was making pump assemblies with the workshop guys the other day on my lunch hour! I don't care what I do, but she does, and she's appointed herself as my boss, so she's kicking a stink up.

 

The head of all this was today, when I offered to learn how to raise invoices, because the lady that does them is only in 2 days a week and when they need doing, we're screwed.

I told her this, and apparently I'm 'immature' for doing it, I'm a 'silly little girl' and she's 'never been so disappointed in me'. Who the f**k does she think she is?!

 

Rant over, it might not seem like much but the MD has called it 'ageism' and 'bullying' and asked me to keep a diary of all the things she says. Hopefully it gets the b***h the sack.

 

 - Caity

[love4Luna]

That's horrible!! I agree to keep track of everything she does/says to you. I hope this gets better!

[Danny_Caity]

Thanks Amber, I tried to keep a diary before now but she goes through my drawers and it mysteriously disappeared...

 

 - Caity

[dogsruleok]

go ahead and kill her i'll give you an alibi.

[Danny_Caity]

Thanks Elaine! Just to get stories straight, we were... Dog walking... On a boat in the middle of the river... While dropping suspiciously heavy plastic bags into the water... It's genius!

 

 - Caity

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

Thats horrible!! Deffo keep a diary of everything that happens hopefully it puts the cow in her place!

[Austinville]

I had a similar situation at a previous job. The individual in question had surgery and was on medical leave for six weeks shortly after her harassment of me began. It was then that I discovered more than a few mistakes she'd made in her position. I ended up with her job and she ended up with the higher ups on her behind! She could have been fired, but I was the bigger person and suggested that she simply be demoted. It broke her heart to have to answer to me and for a while it was tough. Later, (because I'm so forgiving - NOT) we eventually became friends. She realized she wasn't doing her job because she was so controlling about mine. Bit her in the butt.

[Danny_Caity]

I had a similar situation at a previous job. The individual in question had surgery and was on medical leave for six weeks shortly after her harassment of me began. It was then that I discovered more than a few mistakes she'd made in her position. I ended up with her job and she ended up with the higher ups on her behind! She could have been fired, but I was the bigger person and suggested that she simply be demoted. It broke her heart to have to answer to me and for a while it was tough. Later, (because I'm so forgiving - NOT) we eventually became friends. She realized she wasn't doing her job because she was so controlling about mine. Bit her in the butt.

Glad to hear your situation got resolved

Unfortunately this won't work out like that, as I have no intention of being friends with that woman, and she'll never realise any mistakes she makes. I don't just dislike her as a colleague, I dislike her as a person. She's a nasty piece of work, some of the stuff she says is enough to make my blood boil!

 

 - Caity

 - Caity

[Removed #5]

Caitlin, first I agree with the comments about a diary - take a couple of 3x5 cards (or whatever they're called over there) and stick them in your jeans pocket.  When she comes across with one of her comments - take a piss break and write it down. When you get a dozen or so of them, head to the union rep (if you have one) or see if you can make a complaint in personnel. Not trying to sound condescending - but think about it before you do it, it's a rep you do not want to have in your personnel file.

BUT

The more mature way to handle this is to do your job.  If it's not in your job description, do it anyway - it's experience.  As bad as your situation sounds use the experience so that when you get into a position of being 'in charge' you'll know what the other guy (or gal) is feeling. Don't say 'it's obvious' because it's not, something that may be easy to you may be a piece of shite to them - learn how to read them by knowing how you felt.

Since your dad works there, you have an 'in' with the powers that be that you can use when and if you need to - but don't use it unless you're at the point of quitting.  Using your dad as a crutch says that you really can't handle it ... However, keep your ears open for something 'up the line' that you can apply for (and have your dad let the bosses know that you're looking 'up' - no harm in that)

You're young, you're bright and you have all the advantages that those bring - age is not a disadvantage - either too young or too old!  Don't take the attitude that you have to get out of there, take the attitude that you have to go up from there!

[Andy]

Keep at it you'll be her boss one day and then it's payback time

[mydiamond]

wow that's unbelievable is there any safer place to keep your diary? Or maybe you can carry it with you in your jacket or something

[BearsSlave]

I say let's take a long evening walk with some large definetly-not-suspicious-plastic-bags !

[Danny_Caity]

Caitlin, first I agree with the comments about a diary - take a couple of 3x5 cards (or whatever they're called over there) and stick them in your jeans pocket.  When she comes across with one of her comments - take a piss break and write it down. When you get a dozen or so of them, head to the union rep (if you have one) or see if you can make a complaint in personnel. Not trying to sound condescending - but think about it before you do it, it's a rep you do not want to have in your personnel file.

BUT

The more mature way to handle this is to do your job.  If it's not in your job description, do it anyway - it's experience.  As bad as your situation sounds use the experience so that when you get into a position of being 'in charge' you'll know what the other guy (or gal) is feeling. Don't say 'it's obvious' because it's not, something that may be easy to you may be a piece of shite to them - learn how to read them by knowing how you felt.

Since your dad works there, you have an 'in' with the powers that be that you can use when and if you need to - but don't use it unless you're at the point of quitting.  Using your dad as a crutch says that you really can't handle it ... However, keep your ears open for something 'up the line' that you can apply for (and have your dad let the bosses know that you're looking 'up' - no harm in that)

You're young, you're bright and you have all the advantages that those bring - age is not a disadvantage - either too young or too old!  Don't take the attitude that you have to get out of there, take the attitude that you have to go up from there!

There's no union rep, but my dad's already freaked out at her, so the MD knows about it, 3 out of 4 directors are on my side (It helps when my dad tells me stuff ) the other one isn't on my side because he's best buds with bitchface. To be honest I'm playing it coy, being smiley and nice to everyone else's face, but if a director asks me about it I will tell him exactly what's what. I'm not gunna let her impact my career, I wanna learn, there's nothing wrong with that

I do appreciate the point about using my dad as a crutch, and to be honest I can't handle it. I've arranged time with a councillor to go over some coping mechanisms with me, I'm good at faking smiles and stuff, but that's pointless if I go home and cry! Thanks Al, you helped put my rant into perspective for me

 

Keep at it you'll be her boss one day and then it's payback time

Ohh yes! She'll be cleaning the toilets with her toothbrush, and making me constant coffees (which I'll never drink, I hate her coffees, I'll just do it to be mean! MUAHAHA!)

 

 

wow that's unbelievable is there any safer place to keep your diary? Or maybe you can carry it with you in your jacket or something

Yeah I'm thinking putting it in my bag, although I quite like Al's idea of the cards instead of a full book

 

 

I say let's take a long evening walk with some large definetly-not-suspicious-plastic-bags !

Now you're speaking my language!   Although we'd need big bags, she's a 4 foot tall bowling ball of a woman

 

 - Caity

[goingsolo]

I hate bullies. My advice. Grit your teeth and be charming, they hate it. Hope it gets better x

[Danny_Caity]

**UPDATE!** I've been moved departments because of all this, I'm now stationed downstairs as pretty much an office junior. I'm glad to be out of the old office, but I can't help feeling like I'm the one in the wrong in their eyes. Stupid work! -.-

 

 - Caity

[Removed #5]

Caity, simply stated "You rocked the boat."   No business wants to have a workforce that doesn't keep things flowing smoothly and the interactions you were having with "her" made that impossible.  You're out from under her, so now it's up to you to show them that you can do a good job - otherwise they're going to start thinking that it wasn't her that was causing the issues.  By moving you, they're giving you the benefit of the doubt - don't do anything to remove their doubt.

[CARRINGTON]

I agree with Al. If they are moving someone it is usually because they have no proof just he said she said, and since you are below her (even if you are more qualified) your position is still below her so you were moved. Now they are able to watch both and if you aren't doing your job or you aren't getting along with other co-workers it will look like you were the disruption and it can make you and your dad look bad. I believe everything you are saying but in business that is how things work. Also to those above you having your dad in power who is having to talk to those also in power makes it seem like you are using him to fall back on and that would make it seem like you may not be able to handle it, so they moved you in hopes that you were telling the truth and that you can handle it. Sorry you have to go through this.

[Danny_Caity]

Caity, simply stated "You rocked the boat."   No business wants to have a workforce that doesn't keep things flowing smoothly and the interactions you were having with "her" made that impossible.  You're out from under her, so now it's up to you to show them that you can do a good job - otherwise they're going to start thinking that it wasn't her that was causing the issues.  By moving you, they're giving you the benefit of the doubt - don't do anything to remove their doubt.

You said exactly what my dad said, because the lady I'm now sharing an office with is pretty much the same as the first one, the only difference is if it's not to do with her department, she doesn't give a rats arse, which means she probably won't even speak to me much, so it'll be quieter :')

 

I agree with Al. If they are moving someone it is usually because they have no proof just he said she said, and since you are below her (even if you are more qualified) your position is still below her so you were moved. Now they are able to watch both and if you aren't doing your job or you aren't getting along with other co-workers it will look like you were the disruption and it can make you and your dad look bad. I believe everything you are saying but in business that is how things work. Also to those above you having your dad in power who is having to talk to those also in power makes it seem like you are using him to fall back on and that would make it seem like you may not be able to handle it, so they moved you in hopes that you were telling the truth and that you can handle it. Sorry you have to go through this.

Exactly, I know my position in that company now, I'm expendable. I'm doing okay now, settled in much better after being moved and I'm working harder because there's no one on my back every two seconds. I feel awful now though, because they're trying to make my dad lose his job (the same people that were giving me grief) they're putting a case together for every little thing that doesn't quite go right for him and sending the directors to 'talk' to him. He's done nothing wrong and now I feel responsible :/

 

 - Caity

[CARRINGTON]

You said exactly what my dad said, because the lady I'm now sharing an office with is pretty much the same as the first one, the only difference is if it's not to do with her department, she doesn't give a rats arse, which means she probably won't even speak to me much, so it'll be quieter :')

 

Exactly, I know my position in that company now, I'm expendable. I'm doing okay now, settled in much better after being moved and I'm working harder because there's no one on my back every two seconds. I feel awful now though, because they're trying to make my dad lose his job (the same people that were giving me grief) they're putting a case together for every little thing that doesn't quite go right for him and sending the directors to 'talk' to him. He's done nothing wrong and now I feel responsible :/

 

 - Caity

 

That is usually why it is a problem to work with family members. Here in Missouri at least most jobs will not allow your child to work with you, your child can apply for a job at a company only if you as a parent are no longer working there, they also ask that married couples do not work the same job unless you were not married or dating while applying and then started dating after starting the job, if they do allow family members to work together they are usually separated into different buildings or different hours completely. Most companies really don't like children working with parents as the children seem to go run to mommy or daddy with their problems and have them go and fix it instead of the going to the people they need to go to and following the rules and procedures that they would have needed to follow if the parent was not in fact working there. Not sure how it is in the UK or everywhere else in the US but I do know that here is MO it is frowned upon to work at the same job your parents work at (especially if parents are in a position of power), or if you are married when applying, or if you are closely related to someone who already works there, as it seems that more conflict arises when people in these positions work for a company together. I am not saying that you run to your dad for everything but the fact that your dad went and talked to her about you crying everyday when you got home and he went to those above you makes it seem to them that you aren't capable to following the procedures of the company (which may mean filing a grievance, or going to those in power (not your dad) yourself and explaining your situation) but the fact that your dad went to talk to the lady and those above her makes you look unqualified and unwilling to follow company policies. That will irritate anyone higher then you and will in fact want them to find ways to fire you or your dad so you don't have each other to fall back on so both of you can follow company policies. If your dad never said anything to this lady what would have done? Not said anything and kept going? Went with whatever your companies policy is for dealing with things like this? Not trying to sound harsh or mean as that would never be my intention but you also have to look at it from a companies perspective and in ANY company they want everything to run smoothly, company policies to be followed, if not have proof of them, make sure you can handle yourself and show that you are worth keeping there (because in reality there will always be someone else willing to do your job and they know this), and to make sure all interactions run smoothly even if you hate every single person you work with. That is how all companies are run and you won't find many if any that deviate from that path.

[Keeonah]

It seem Caity, that you have been given the benefit of the doubt. Don't do anything to rock the boat. I have a senior manager that I must have pissed off in a past life as he seems to think that it's his god given right to pick on me. Only because I need a job so much am I putting up with it. I have a tendency to smile and agree with everything he says and then walk away thinking, TWAT. The only problem that I have is how long can I keep it up before I loose my cool.

 

Gary.

[Danny_Caity]

That is usually why it is a problem to work with family members. Here in Missouri at least most jobs will not allow your child to work with you, your child can apply for a job at a company only if you as a parent are no longer working there, they also ask that married couples do not work the same job unless you were not married or dating while applying and then started dating after starting the job, if they do allow family members to work together they are usually separated into different buildings or different hours completely. Most companies really don't like children working with parents as the children seem to go run to mommy or daddy with their problems and have them go and fix it instead of the going to the people they need to go to and following the rules and procedures that they would have needed to follow if the parent was not in fact working there. Not sure how it is in the UK or everywhere else in the US but I do know that here is MO it is frowned upon to work at the same job your parents work at (especially if parents are in a position of power), or if you are married when applying, or if you are closely related to someone who already works there, as it seems that more conflict arises when people in these positions work for a company together. I am not saying that you run to your dad for everything but the fact that your dad went and talked to her about you crying everyday when you got home and he went to those above you makes it seem to them that you aren't capable to following the procedures of the company (which may mean filing a grievance, or going to those in power (not your dad) yourself and explaining your situation) but the fact that your dad went to talk to the lady and those above her makes you look unqualified and unwilling to follow company policies. That will irritate anyone higher then you and will in fact want them to find ways to fire you or your dad so you don't have each other to fall back on so both of you can follow company policies. If your dad never said anything to this lady what would have done? Not said anything and kept going? Went with whatever your companies policy is for dealing with things like this? Not trying to sound harsh or mean as that would never be my intention but you also have to look at it from a companies perspective and in ANY company they want everything to run smoothly, company policies to be followed, if not have proof of them, make sure you can handle yourself and show that you are worth keeping there (because in reality there will always be someone else willing to do your job and they know this), and to make sure all interactions run smoothly even if you hate every single person you work with. That is how all companies are run and you won't find many if any that deviate from that path.

Ahh, I probably should've mentioned, we don't have any complaints/grievance policy, there's no one I could've gone to. I wasn't intending on rocking the boat, I'd gone into his office for 5 minutes to sort myself out and he walked in, which was what made him go a bit lairy. It's a family company, everybody is related to somebody that works or has worked there, so it was never an issue, my dad dropped a ball when he lost it, I'm not saying I blame him, but he could've let me handle it. I would've told our MD about it and asked to be moved anyway.

 

But as I say, when it comes to complaints we don't have any procedure, all problems are usually fixed with a screaming match, and then it's settled. It's a backwards company, and I can't wait to get all my qualifications and work experience out of them, then find somewhere that has their shit together.

 

And you don't sound harsh, I do have a bit of a persecution complex so I over-react to bad things that happen without thinking of other ways to handle it.

 

It seem Caity, that you have been given the benefit of the doubt. Don't do anything to rock the boat. I have a senior manager that I must have pissed off in a past life as he seems to think that it's his god given right to pick on me. Only because I need a job so much am I putting up with it. I have a tendency to smile and agree with everything he says and then walk away thinking, TWAT. The only problem that I have is how long can I keep it up before I loose my cool.

 

Gary.

It's so hard to keep my trap shut sometimes, but I muster the strength to just call them every name I can think of under my breath

I'm keeping myself going by telling myself that I WILL be her boss one way or another, that's my life's goal atm

 

 - Caity

[Keeonah]

There is your aim and motivation. Concentrate on that and everything will fall into place in the end. Good luck and don't let the ba*****s grind you down.

 

Gary.