Mobezilla Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 Yeah, have you guys ever seen this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh0AhrY9GjA That alone describes this guy I've just started seeing. He's known me a few days, and he's already texting me non-stop, says he wants me to be 'his girl', and if I don't respond right away he resends me messages and one night I was talking to a friend and he sent me eleven messages and two voicemails within the hour I didn't respond. My voicemail reply is 'hey I'm busy so leave a message' and he said 'hey your voicemail says you're busy... too busy for me??' I'm like DUDE! He asked if we could officially be a couple and I told him no, I wasn't comfortable with that yet, and he says 'too busy for me?' REALLY? Ugh. Maybe I am!! I knew there was a reason I didn't want a boyfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CARRINGTON Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 I have not seen this but it sounds like what your are describing is insecurities and an insecure attachment style. Which may not be fixed. I would suggest talking with him about it especially since you just started seeing each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobezilla Posted September 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 I have not seen this but it sounds like what your are describing is insecurities and an insecure attachment style. Which may not be fixed. I would suggest talking with him about it especially since you just started seeing each other. Honestly I'm not even sure if I want to try to date him or just end it there.. he's very clingy and needy and while some girls may like to be spoiled like a 'princess' I feel like someone shouldn't be obsessed with me after only giving me his number three days ago. I very much value my independence and don't need to be someones 'girls', he says stuff like 'I want you to be happy' and things like 'hopefully I can be your guy' and it makes me uncomfortable since he's only known me THREE days! and he was saying this stuff when he had only known me for ONE day! It feels unhealthy :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 Uh oh. That is unhealthy. It does sound like he's insecure. Run the other way, quickly! If it continues, or if he starts to threaten you, I would go to the police. Save all your messages you've gotten (voice, texts, etc). Please keep me up to date on this, this worries me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 Run! Sounds way to clingy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazz Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 I would follow Elyse's advice. This guy sounds like a certifiable wack job. Change your cell number, and if needbe, get a restraining order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobezilla Posted September 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 Uh oh. That is unhealthy. It does sound like he's insecure. Run the other way, quickly! If it continues, or if he starts to threaten you, I would go to the police. Save all your messages you've gotten (voice, texts, etc). Please keep me up to date on this, this worries me... Run! Sounds way to clingy I would follow Elyse's advice. This guy sounds like a certifiable wack job. Change your cell number, and if needbe, get a restraining order. Glad I'm not the only one thinking this!!! I told my mom and she said 'That's rude. You're being mean' and I'm like look at the messages!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleLuka Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 Run away as fast as possible! Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormy Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 Definitely run the other way!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 and the general consensus - get the <???> out of there now! If he's that pushy after just a couple of days and casual chat then you really don't want to have anything to do with him (probably). Run - do not walk, RUN - in the other direction. Seriously, this is very concerning, there are way too many nut-jobs out there and you don't need to get involved with one. Take care of yourself and if it looks like it's getting too bad - ask a local sheriff to have a talk with him (if you're on passably good terms with one, that should do the trick) if you're not, or he insists that "he didn't do anything wrong" in todays terms, once you tell him to stop, it's classed as stalking and he's asking for a world of hurt!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobezilla Posted September 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Run away as fast as possible! Lol Definitely run the other way!!!! and the general consensus - get the <???> out of there now! If he's that pushy after just a couple of days and casual chat then you really don't want to have anything to do with him (probably). Run - do not walk, RUN - in the other direction. Seriously, this is very concerning, there are way too many nut-jobs out there and you don't need to get involved with one. Take care of yourself and if it looks like it's getting too bad - ask a local sheriff to have a talk with him (if you're on passably good terms with one, that should do the trick) if you're not, or he insists that "he didn't do anything wrong" in todays terms, once you tell him to stop, it's classed as stalking and he's asking for a world of hurt!! I'm really glad I'm getting this feedback because my family thinks I'm being too hard on him but he's seriously creeping me out. How should I handle this? Completely start ignoring his texts/calls?? I don't even feel comfortable trying to explain to him that he's.. well.. way too obsessed with me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Does he know where you live? If so... I'm afraid, that if you tell him to cheese off, he may be the type to seek revenge on perhaps you, your property, or your pups. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie (and Zara the Husky) Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Too many warning bells!!!! If you're getting that uncomfortable feeling trust your instincts. Too many times I've seen friends give guys like this a chance and it never ever ends well. Things slippery-slope into really inappropriate stalker-ish behaviour really quickly. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie (and Zara the Husky) Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 And in terms of exactly how to leave it - make it about you rather than him, then there's nothing he can argue with or say he can change. Sticking with 'it was nice to have met you but I've decided relationships aren't for me at the moment. I hope you can understand and give me space'. Then ignore. If you try to tell him what it is about HIM specifically you can't handle I can guarantee he will try to do anything to prove to you he can change. Yucky situation to be in and I'm sure he is a nice guy, but just not for you hey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobezilla Posted September 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Does he know where you live? If so... I'm afraid, that if you tell him to cheese off, he may be the type to seek revenge on perhaps you, your property, or your pups. Nope just where I work Too many warning bells!!!! If you're getting that uncomfortable feeling trust your instincts. Too many times I've seen friends give guys like this a chance and it never ever ends well. Things slippery-slope into really inappropriate stalker-ish behaviour really quickly. Good luck! Yeah I'm definitely leaving him :/ Except its only him who thinks we're dating since I told him I didn't want to date yet. So more like I'm trying to get rid of him. And in terms of exactly how to leave it - make it about you rather than him, then there's nothing he can argue with or say he can change. Sticking with 'it was nice to have met you but I've decided relationships aren't for me at the moment. I hope you can understand and give me space'. Then ignore. If you try to tell him what it is about HIM specifically you can't handle I can guarantee he will try to do anything to prove to you he can change. Yucky situation to be in and I'm sure he is a nice guy, but just not for you hey Yes I know every time I've told him he's rushing the relationship way too fast and I'm uncomfortable and don't want to continue he says 'we can take it as slow as you want' I hate it I can't stand it. I'll try to text him something tomorrow.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 I would be very direct to him. Just say how you feel it and why you want to stop him texting you. Tell him that you are officially done with him and rather not hear from him ever again. Don't talk around the fact or try giving little hints, that won't work. There are actually people that get overly attached to someone without actually realising it themselves. It may help getting him to see this himself. Just an idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devildust76 Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 While I'll agree that he sounds VERY intense for someone you just met I don't think he's going to go all Glen Close on you just yet. I think Jos is right in that you need to speak to him very plainly and say his behaviours have creeped you out big time and you think it would be best if you didn't see each other again. If he doesn't take the hint at that point and starts to harass you then got to the police. Some guys and gals attach themselves very quickly to people and when the other person doesn't feel the same then it becomes very awkward. Please be careful though and keep us updated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winterchillz Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Is this the guy you mentioned the other day on the Chat Room? Wow! I'd follow Jos' and Simon's advice on this; try to tell him that you don't find yourself interested and that his messages are a bit too much for you to handle. Hopefully it will be over with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormy Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Just be honest and straight with him then if he does not back off get the police involved Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) Oh no is this the guy we were discussing in chat the other day? Agree with everyone else that if he's that involved this early on then it's not a good sign. If you just try to be honest and tell him fairly but firmly that your hearts not in this relationship and it would be pointless and unfair carrying on knowing it's not going to go anywhere. (or whatever else you choose) then he will hopefully be less inclined to take it badly. Good luck megan, there are some good men out there somewhere! Edited September 12, 2013 by emma1979 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahjng Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 I think you need to be very blunt and direct, make it clear that there is no relationship between you, that you don't want a relationship with him, that you don't want him to contact you any more, if he knows where you work make sure everyone there is aware of the situation, the last thing you want is him turning up and making a fool of himself (or you) . Some people just can't take a telling, they think your kidding or playing hard to get or just wrong, and that they know better. As has been said, keep all messages, keep a note of every time he calls, if he comes to your work make sure you don't talk to him alone, have someone else in the room, and call the cops if he carries on. He might be the greatest guy in the world but he's pushing waaay to hard. ( he's lucky your not my daughter, we would already have had a `chat ` I can be very insistent with a 2 x 4) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 I met a guy like this once and ended up getting a restraining order against him and having to go to court when he got arrested for breaking it. It started very similar with nonstop messages and calls. Be direct with him. But don't give an out or a ounce of hope. Just "I am uncomfortable with this, you need to stop contacting me." If he starts saying crazy things, take him seriously and call the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 Agree with the direct approach, He may not be a weirdo just someone who hasn't had much relationship experience. Just be straight with him, but keep us updated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed #5 Posted September 12, 2013 Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 I'd like to reinforce one comment made earlier - if this guy is coming on this strong this early in (what he thinks is) a relationship - make this all about your not wanting to be in any relationship. try hard to not make it him, he'll perceive that as an attack against him / his manhood / his whatever and you don't want him thinking you attacked him in any fashion - that just prompts jis feelings of insecurity and a desire to get even. You're in one badly tight position and there's no way out that he won't feel offended - but if you can, keep it about your feelings, not about him. And has been said, if you can't get him to let go then get a restraining order and enforce it - some people just don't know what they're doing to someone elses emotions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobezilla Posted September 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2013 I would be very direct to him. Just say how you feel it and why you want to stop him texting you. Tell him that you are officially done with him and rather not hear from him ever again. Don't talk around the fact or try giving little hints, that won't work. There are actually people that get overly attached to someone without actually realising it themselves. It may help getting him to see this himself. Just an idea While I'll agree that he sounds VERY intense for someone you just met I don't think he's going to go all Glen Close on you just yet. I think Jos is right in that you need to speak to him very plainly and say his behaviours have creeped you out big time and you think it would be best if you didn't see each other again. If he doesn't take the hint at that point and starts to harass you then got to the police. Some guys and gals attach themselves very quickly to people and when the other person doesn't feel the same then it becomes very awkward. Please be careful though and keep us updated Is this the guy you mentioned the other day on the Chat Room? Wow! I'd follow Jos' and Simon's advice on this; try to tell him that you don't find yourself interested and that his messages are a bit too much for you to handle. Hopefully it will be over with it. Just be honest and straight with him then if he does not back off get the police involved Oh no is this the guy we were discussing in chat the other day? Agree with everyone else that if he's that involved this early on then it's not a good sign. If you just try to be honest and tell him fairly but firmly that your hearts not in this relationship and it would be pointless and unfair carrying on knowing it's not going to go anywhere. (or whatever else you choose) then he will hopefully be less inclined to take it badly. Good luck megan, there are some good men out there somewhere! Yup this is the guy I mentioned, I was pretty excited at first but now I'm just totally not even wanting to 'be friends' or anything with him. I've been ignoring his texts for now and may tell him later on that I don't want a relationship at the moment :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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