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Occupational Hazards.


Emma

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Paul ('im indoors) works in the gas industry.  Currently he's employed as a quality inspector, going round properties and checking that work carried out by engineers have been done properly and according to current uk legislations.

As you can imagine he meets some interesting types and this week he's been working in good ole Peckham Rye, home of Del' Boy (only fools and horses, old uk tv show) and has found himself in some particularly unusual situations. This one made me laugh, although at one point it could of got nasty.

 

He entered  one property where it reeked immediately of alcohol and was greeted by 2 staggering men.....

"hi come in, have a drink"  man 1 said, 

"no thanks, I'm driving" said Paul.

"naah, it's ok, so is he and he's having a can" man 1 replied

"yeah,but I only just got here and haven't had any yet" man 2 says whilst swaying visibly, and clearly trollied.

"no thanks, better not" said Paul and started to carry out his work........

"you men know how to put money on the meter for nothing dont' u!  Go on put £20 on my meter.  Go on or we're gonna hold you hostage" man 1 told paul before telling man 2 "yeah, lets lock him in and make him put £20 on the meter"

Man 1 then walks off and returns holding a kitchen knife "you like my knife?  Put £20 on my meter!  ha ha ha, only joking with ya mate, you're safe".

both men then proceed to drink some more and watch Paul work.......man 1 suddenly starts wailing loudly.......

"20 days!  20 days!  whats gonna happen in 20 days!  it was 21 days yesterday!   ooooohhhhh 20 days!"  Paul looks at him, trying not to laugh and explain that the boiler has been set to shut down in 20 days unless it gets serviced and no the system is not due to explode which is what man 1 was thinking would happen. 

Man 1 then turns to man 2 and says "oh I'm gonna freeze to death in 20 days, i'm coming to stay at yours!"

Man 2 laughs "not unless you bring your booze.  last time you stayed you nicked all me money!"

Man 1 then gets visibly upset  "ooh i'm gonna get heatstroke you know but the one for if you get all cold.  you remember when that happened to you in the park? you had to go to hospital!"

Man 2 became quite solemn "oh yeah!  and I had to go get my stomach pumped!"

Man 1 "ooh 20 daaaaayyyss!  oh no! can you help me?  I only got 20 days!  please help me!" 

 

Paul was by now on the verge of crying with laughter, while again explaining that he wasn't going to die in 20 days and that everything was going to be fine, whilst sniggering about the fact that there's no way in hell you get your stomach pumped because you have heat stroke, more likely drank or took something he shouldn't of!  So eventually both men calmed down until Paul had finished and then handed them something to sign, then man 1 become all nervous....

"oh no you've got my fingerprints on record now!"

"quick wipe it off on your shirt or something!"

Paul told him that his own prints were also all over it, so it would be impossible to get a good print off of it.  This made man 1 happy, so Paul could grab his stuff and make a speedy exit.  lmao.

 

Thank god nothing like that ever happens to me, not sure I would be able to deal with it quite as effortlessly as he does!  Would of been tempted to wind them up, which would of likely gotten me into some trouble, lol.

 

 

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