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Jokes for the girls


Val (Zebedee)

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- Shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' Liverpool ' And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple are lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumour

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. - Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practising to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: How do you keep your man from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manuals'

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