mydiamond Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 I am getting so upset with myself. All I wanted to do is help. My long-term, general goal in life is to be useful for the world. Yes, this world. With all of its terrible humans. But every time I try to help, I ended up messing it all up. It almost felt like I destroy anything I touch. My dad found a baby bird in our roof one day. I kept it in a box, fed it, watered it and when it curled into a ball to sleep I put it underneath a warm lamp. It died the next morning. I scooped up a kitten that ran up to me one night when I was walking Diamond. I brought it home, gave it warm milk and put it in a box with unused fabrics as a bedding. That kitten put me under the merciless wrath of my parents. I ended up being forced to either find the cat a new home or return it to the streets. Nobody I knew wants a stray cat. So I did the latter. I found two 1-week old kittens on the roadside one afternoon. They were tumbling around getting closer and closer to the middle of the road so I moved them to a grassy field nearby. The next day I checked on them and they're still there. Unmoved, untouched, still crying. I picked them up again, thinking there must be something I could do. There wasn't any. I put them down again, but this time they kept crawling back to my hands idk why. They were blind and can't see where they're going so when I left they kept on crawling forward. They soon ended in the middle of the road. A car killed them. This afternoon, just a few moments ago, I saw a white fluffy figure and a small chocolate one from a distance while walking Diamond. They were close to this girl so I thought it's her dog, but then realized they're off-leash dogs without any owners to be seen. The chocolate Dachshund barked up a storm and chased after us. He's not aggressive just territorial, but I don't wanna gamble so brought Dime home. The Doxie, with the white Pom tailing behind, kept on following us. I thought they'd follow me home but they didn't. Knowing how I am with animals, guess what I did next. I grabbed Dime's short leash, my phone and my umbrella. I left the house searching for the two little rascals. Only three steps later, it started raining. Doesn't matter I have a huge umbrella. Thirty seconds later, rain turned into storm. I was literally alone in the middle of a vast road, hugging the handle of my umbrella which turns out to be not big enough. My clothes were soaked. My shoes were so wet I thought it'd be easier to just take them off and walk bare-foot. As if it wasn't enough there's some kind of an open sore on my left leg that I never knew was there. Open wounds and rain water is not a good mix. Nevertheless I scoured the area where I last saw them. I only returned when I ran out of ideas of where they could be. At that point my leg is already hurting like hell. I kept one hand on my shirt to cover my phone which is too tall for my pants' front pocket. I walked talking to myself; "Only you, Liv! Only you!! Who else would do this??" It's still raining as we speak. Dime's lucky he reached home before I set off again. He's dry, warm and peacefully asleep. But those loose dogs are most certainly not. I am in no position to foster, even for a night. My parents would definitely disagree. I don't like small dogs anyways. Dime would be way too jumpy around them and the Dachshund barks too much. BUT guess what I'm thinking of doing once the rain stops. Guess what I would do if they did follow me home and ended up outside my gates. Guess what I would do if I can't find their *insert impolite word here* owner (I know every single dog in my area. I've never seen these little guys before. They're either from outside my neighborhood or dumped here for some reason). In fact, guess what I can't get my mind off of. Only me. ONLY me. Who else would be so stupid? Who else would try to help when they most certainly can not? I'm angry with myself, but also partially to the whole wide world. All I wanted to do is help. Why is it too much to ask?? Teenagers my age wants a car. Or a motorbike. Or a new phone. *I* just want to help. Why is it so hard?? Does this happen to anyone trying to be nice? I'm not even doing this to get attention... I don't need people patting my back saying "aw you're very mature for your age"... I just do this because I WANT to help *sigh* Sorry for the long post was just feeling down and decided I'd just fill my favorite H-O sub-forum with a ton of nonsense xxx have a great day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia Doyle Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 I think its very admirable that all you want to do is help animals in need :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winterchillz Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 I think its very admirable that all you want to do is help animals in need :-) ^ This. So you deserve a group And cake :cake: And probably a husky kiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted January 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 aw thanks guys. Unfortunately there are still no signs of the dachshund and the pom. I just hope they're safe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 liv you have a beautiful large heart. never change that. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike101 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 ^ This. So you deserve a group And cake :cake: And probably a husky kiss liv you have a beautiful large heart. never change that. xx I totally concur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Aww bless you Olivia, you're just doing what comes naturally to you. Show's what a kind heart you have, People either fall into 2 groups, those who love animals and those who don't. the latter group will never be able to comprehend why the animal lovers go to the extremes they do, it's just not something they're capable of. If it helps, me and the hubby ran around the streets last summer looking for a group of baby ferrets that were on the loose in the hot lunchtime sun. We caught two of them and had to care for them and keep them in an old hamster cage overnight (it was sunday at the time so everywhere was closed). The next day I managed to contact a ferret rescue who came out and collected them, they were so tiny they really should of been with their mum. But yeah, it was a lot of extra hassle I didn't need and incredibly stressful making sure they survived their time with us but let's face it, who of us could walk away from something like that??? Only an animal lover would understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Liv, Your post resonates, loudly, with my outlook on life as I believe that my reputation, (for taking in all waifs and strays), is now embedded in the local folklaw in my neck of the woods! I have had relative success with the many 'rescues' that I have taken in and some, (that looked like 'no hopers'), pulled through whereas those that looked fit and healthy didn't. Birds, I am lead to believe, are very difficult to nurse as they are easily stressed and, (although I managed to hand rear a Thrush many years ago), recent similar attempts have failed miserably. I do rescue hedgehogs, (on behalf of the Hedgehog Preservation Society), but my success rate is only around 30% I am afraid to report. All I will say is continue with your good intentions as it is this quality that is severely missing in the human race currently. I will even stop and pick up earth worms and place them back onto the soil if I find any washed out the onto the tarmac! Apologies for any typos as I am writing this on the bus - such is the worthiness of a reply to your post! Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingsolo Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Olivia dont you ever change. You are a wonderful kind generous person with a huge heart. Keep safe x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambi92 Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 You remind me of what I'm like with animals can't walk away if the animal needs help I got in trouble so many times for bringing home stray animals of all kinds (dogs, cats, lizards, a frog) but mum and dad always said I'm crazy and would always help me get them to where they would be safe mum still has one of the dogs I brought home Your amazing the world needs more people like you Liv I've never met a teenager like you (I'm not a people person lol) I know I don't know you personally but if I did you'd be the awesome best friend I never had (that sounds a little strange) Xxx Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted January 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 thanks guys... It rained all night. Loose dogs are still nowhere to be seen. It's hard to picture someone dumping a purebred in Indonesia though so there's a huge chance they're just lost and their owner found them last night. Hopefully. Because I would totally bring them home if I saw them roaming the streets again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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