Dear Crying Girl

[mydiamond]

Dear crying girl at brown house in alley three; at exactly one o'clock of the huge banyan tree 

 

First of all, I am truly sorry that you're going through an unpleasant life event in the middle of this beautiful, sunny day. I understand that being a teen is never easy, especially when you have a certain someone that never answers your calls. I also understand that it is most definitely painful when somebody does not read you the exact words you have in your mind. Or as you prefer to call it: "answering carelessly". However, considering how houses in alley three were built especially close together, I wish you would be a little more considerate regarding the volume of your voice when you are expressing your grievances to that other friend. I live in alley one. I was walking my dog--whom you might know, by the way... Everyone calls me Diamond because he's more popular than I am--when I heard the sobbing voice of a damsel in distress. Mind you, I was nowhere near your house when I first heard it. I was also nowhere near your house when your distressed cry was finally swallowed by the almighty distance. Thanks to your opened doors, I can assume that your house was empty at the moment. But, unfortunately, it does not mean the entire neighborhood is empty as well. It's not like we mind listening to a good portion of teenage drama in this lovely afternoon, but we're afraid our chuckles and rolling eyes would offend you even further. So, as you can see, there is no ill intention behind this message. In fact, as a fellow teenager, I would give you a little dating advice: keep calm, and break up xxx 

 

Yours sincerely,

 

The Girl Who Walks That Dog Which Looks Like A Wolf

[Andy]

Teenage angst knows no volume boundaries.

[Emma]

Lmao, looks like you could go to the other side of the world and still end up with noisy neighbours, lol.