Chula Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 So we all know the boyfriend and I have very different ways of taking care of dogs. Yesterday he went on a mega rant about how much attention I give to Chula. He included everything from getting up to let her pee at 7 am (after last going at 10 pm the night before) to taking her to the vet for her toe, to trying to figure out why she is itching and biting herself bald, to trying to figure out why she wasn't eating. Chula is crated during the week. I spend the rest of my awake time with her. Walking her, playing, having a chat, brushing, or cuddling. I feel like she is alone for so much of the time that she deserves attention when I'm home. What am I supposed to do? Let her out of her crate and then ignore her all evening? Anyway, just curious what your thoughts are. Do you give your dogs loads of attention? I thought about him maybe being jealous of the attention I give her, but he doesn't WANT my attention after he comes home from work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I give my dogs attention pretty much all the time when I'm home. I don't go out and do a lot of things because I feel that they are crated during the week and feel guiltily if I am gone too much on the weekend. I will limit myself to doing one thing without the dogs each weekend. I also get up early in the morning to let them out to potty. So I don't think you are giving her too much attention. Like you said maybe he's jealous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 How can you give to much attention...they cannot tell you that they would like to see a doc. when they pee or poo all over the place in the house then he would not be happy.... what is wrong with this dude??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I don't really know what he expects. I think because he had her while I was visiting family for five days and she was fine with a morning walk and an afternoon game of fetch. She was likely ignored the rest of the day. And she probably did fine and just laid around. So he doesn't understand why I don't just do things that way. I told him I pay attention to her because she doesn't scold me! I don't think I'm capable of doing things differently. I realize I worry too much, but even if I wasn't worrying I'd still be paying her attention. Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 So what if you're worrying too much? So what if you pay her attention even when you're not worried? These dogs are like our children. Those feelings are simply the motherly side of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 as far as I am concerned my dogs are not helpless but they do need my attention and my help to enjoy life and they make me enjoy life with them so therefore I do what needs to be done anytime of the day or night they need it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 You know what's annoying? I'm the one who does all the care taking and she still adores him! I know she doesn't understand, but it's so sad to see her begging him to play or cuddle and him push her away. Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 yes that I know they just want to please and playing is one of those things... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clare70 Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 Emily are YOU content giving Chula lots of attention, does it make YOU happy? Mine aren't crated and I'm home most of the day but I still make time for them, potty break first thing, feeding, walking, brushing, cuddling, playing, more walking and feeding, it just goes on and on. Then at the weekends we try and take them out, though it's not always possible. My parents and sister think I'm mad and don't understand why I plan my life around my dogs. My house is a permenant building site, yet we've just spent out money to make a run for the dogs, we couldn't really afford it, we'd have been wiser to have spent that money on the house but doing this for the dogs makes us happy What I'm saying is if it is a natural instinct then you should act on it, not let someone/anyone change it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) Yes, I am happy. Sometimes it would be nice to have help, to be able to sleep in one day a week, but generally spending time with her makes me happy. I feel a twinge of resentment as I never wanted a dog and we got her for him, but he doesn't want to put in the time. I asked him Saturday to throw the ball around with her for a few minutes and he made such a scandal over it. Personally I think maybe something else is going on that he's keeping from me. He's very quick to anger these days. Or maybe he's feeling my dissatisfaction. Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk Edited August 4, 2014 by Chula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clare70 Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I hate to say it but this sounds more to do with something else rather than Chula Have you tried to talk to him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I can understand how it would r hard since you are putting in all the time and effort and Chula begs him for attention but I think it may because he doesn't pay that much attention to her and she wants it. I wouldn't take that as Chula preferring him over you or anything. And yeah I'd think there's something going on with him. There's no reason for a grown person to act like that. It sucks that you have to deal with that because it can't be easy . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 Oh yeah we have tried talking. Doesn't seem to get us anywhere. He plays his cards close to the vest. I don't feel she prefers him, nor would I really care if she did, it's just sad to watch her beg that way for something as simple as a belly scratch or ten minutes of his day to throw the ball. When we first got her he was walking her before he left for work at 6:30 am and before bed at 9:30 pm. Last fall he would run her for a half hour after work. Now he pretty much does nothing unless I'm not in town. He will sometimes take her on the bike on Sundays and sometimes throw her the ball for a few minutes after taking out the trash. That's it. Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisley&chad Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I'm thinking that job far away is sounding better and better for you and little miss chula. seriously. but seriously, I feel so bad for her, too. that's kinda how my boyfriend is to a certain extent, but that's only when he's busy. if he noticed her, he pets her. but he usually doesn't notice. he's been working on his truck for two months probably and chad and paisley just sit out there and watch it's so cute. but anyways, back to your problem. it's 100% jealousy. when broc and I were having a rough patch, that's exactly what he always said. "well, you pay more attention to the dogs." or "you like them better than me." but it got better when we started getting along more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehairdresser Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 If I remember rightly shes a similar age to Khaleesi. I get up every morning between 6am and 7am to let her out, she pesters me constantly to play with her. We got her because we wanted to add to our family, we spend all our free time with her. You don't sound like you're spending too much time with her, that's why you got her wasn't it? Also Khaleesi will sometimes have accidents when Tim is "watching" her, she doesn't do it if I'm here! X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjwrx Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I used to give Panda a lot of my attention whenever i'm home because he was crated majority of the time. However at age 2 1/2 he prefers to just lay down close to you or just lay down somewhere alone. I do spend 2 hours or so with him when i get home and take him to the dog park. As much as i love my dogs i don't feel like all my time should be given to them, i have my life as well. It's all about balance imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormy Posted August 4, 2014 Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I agree with sjwrx a good balance is good. I work full time, i give them attention and i also make time for my own life!! Yes all their needs are taken care of but i make time for others also and my two are very happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chula Posted August 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2014 I agree that a balance is important. We still go out to dinner Saturday nights, and to lunch on Sundays. I take her to daycare sometimes just so I can go to happy hour after work during the week so she still gets exercise. I think his issue is more about how he perceives dog ownership, and vet trips, and high quality food, and the expense of daycare. And there is some level of jealousy in there, even if he won't admit to it. But when I try to talk to him or hold his hand after he's had a long day at work, he gets weird and kind of rude. Shrug. I don't know. I feel like I'm doing the right thing for now. Someone has to make sure she's being looked after, and for me, having her next to me for pets or throwing her toy to her isn't a burden. I like doing it. Maybe as she gets older she will be less interested/demanding of attention. I know that when there is another dog around, she couldn't care less about me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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