Puns To Ponder

[Mazz]

1. What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart.

2. A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs. It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.

3. Which famous golfer loves to drink wine? Litre Vino.

4.A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, "Try a milk bath". So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a bath. The dairy guys ask "You want that pasteurized?" "Nah", the man replies "Up to my chin should do it."

5. What's the difference between an angry circus owner and a Roman barber? One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman.

6. In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything, that is except the smoked salmon. Thus were created the world's first anti-lox breaks.

7. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned.

8. Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant? One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk.

9. A scientist cloned himself but the experiment created a duplicate who used very foul language. As the clone cursed and swore, the scientist finally pushed it out the window, and it fell to its death. Later the scientist was arrested for making an obscene clone fall. Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

10. A man at a tool and die company died today when he was hit with a tool.

[robke]

Lol

[Emma]

lol, some of these are really good Mazz! 

[sarahjng]

Lol so bad their good !

Heard the world's worst pick up lines earlier

Roses are red, violets are blue

I have a gun so get in the van

Sniff this, does it smell like chloroform ?

What's worrying, I heard these at the dinner table from my kids !!!!

[Kells xx]

Sarah those made me chuckle