Well...

[mydiamond]

Ready for another Liv vs Parents rant? Except this is not a rant. I'm too tired to be angry. I'm just very much confused. I have nobody to ask opinions from except for you guys, because no one I know in real life understands just how much my dog means to me. Sooo... shall we begin?

 

I'll try to make this very, very quick:

 

Do I fly Diamond over my sophomore or junior year? Should I wait until I graduate? No I can't wait that long, because by then he'd be nine! I'm not putting my senior dog on a twenty plus hours flight, that's dangerous! I put the limit at seven, as I consider eight is the year a dog qualifies to be called a senior. When Dime's seven, I'd be in my junior year. Junior year is two years from now. I've been here five short weeks and I already fill my diary with teary poems and mushy stories. Can I really live away from him for two years? One year is hard enough, but I also will not fly him over until I'm 150% sure I'm in the right situation to care for his needs. What will my parents say? I am 90% sure they'd *not* be supportive. Who flies a thirty-kilos dog nine thousand miles away? I can say I need to fly him over because I'm not coming back to Indonesia, which is totally what I plan to say, but when I'm only a sophomore what do I know about life after college? How can I guarantee I'd get a job in Michigan, and build a new life around me that supports both my and Dime's needs? That's why I consider flying him over my junior year, hoping by then I'd already have internships and stuff and can provide a better answer when asked "how do you know you're definitely not coming back?". I'd also be perfectly settled to the off-campus life by then, which enables me to pick the best/safest walking routes for him, and... well, basically be a better owner to help the dog adapt to his new (nine thousand miles away) environment. But again, I'm dying to have him here ASAP. I don't want to be selfish, but it also breaks my heart to think how I need to wait two years until we got reunited. His best interest will always be put before mine, but... again, I just miss him loads. Opinions, folks? - rant #1 over -

 

- rant #2 begin -

No matter which year I choose to fly the dog over, I would have to first go through my parents. I must admit, I hate how they always act as a metal door between me and my decisions. I wish I could just sit down and have a civil, common ground conversation with them. But nope, not in this world. What's gonna happen is a full-fledged World War III. I'm sorry I'm assuming, but I've lived with these people way too long I hate conflicts, I try to avoid them whenever I can. The thought of having them yell at me (again) scares me to death. Especially because this is going to be the very first "war" where I'm gonna talk back. I can't stay silent anymore. They *need* to hear me out, just like how I hear *them* out. I'm so done with conversations where I stand still taking the beating, while they sit on their glimmering throne far above, telling me everything I did wrong and how it's supposed to be done. Enough, really. There's simply no point in leaving Dime in Indonesia while I have no plan of returning. I'm gonna bring him over or die trying. Dime *is* coming to East Lansing. The conversation is not to look for their permission, from my point of view. I have my mind all made up. But I still have to let them know, and I also need to know they're not going to punish me financially for making this delirious decision. When I say "financially", I mean they might or might not stop paying my tuition fee. I mean, I know they'd have the heart to do that; making me choose between school and the dog. If they really do that, I wouldn't know which one to pick... and I'm really, really afraid they're gonna make that threat. What do I say? How do I spill the beans? How do I say "I'm bringing the dog over" in such way that they would listen to my reasoning, *and* see beyond the "she must be crazy" part? Why can't my parents be like all the other kids' parents, so I won't need to plan every word I want to say to them years before the conversation actually takes place??

[Jay]

Well Liv, I wish I had some good suggestions for you; unfortunately I don't really know how you should handle that.  I will say that I could not imagine being in that position, I would miss my dogs like crazy. I don't blame you for wanting to be with him ASAP.  However, you do have to think of how you will care for him.  I would not worry about having that conversation just yet, because you are at least a year from having it.  For right now, I think that focusing on your college experience and school is the best way to go, and not worry about the uncomfortable converstation you will have to have with them. 

 

Without knowing what your situation is going to be in a couple of years it's hard to know what Dime's best interests would be.  I don't blame you at all for wanting to be reunited with him, and from the sounds of it you really want to stay in the US, so just focus on yourself and prepare for a life for you and Dime and see what happens

[mydiamond]

I'm arranging to do apartment hunt this weekend, where I'd be visiting a list of pet-friendly apartments and discuss breed restrictions and the like. No, I didn't expect people to start looking for apartments so early either but if I don't want to miss out on the best ones, I gotta start the hunt ASAP (I'm living off-campus next year! This place is way too pricey!) Anyways, that's why my mind flew to this issue, because this weekend I'd be going around talking to people about the dog, living with me.

 

Thanks for replying it's nice to hear that there are people out there who understands how hard it is to leave away from a four-legged creature you really love

[Bambi92]

I'm not sure what to say. Would they be more willing to let you fly dime over if you have financial support so you can take care of him and yourself like a job or some form of income?

I hope you can work it out with your parents good luck xx

[mydiamond]

Oh, that's one thing I never thought of thanks! There are jobs on-campus I'm currently applying for but I haven't got hired yet. We'll see though!

[Elyse]

Wow, I'm pining after Suka and I get to see him every 6 weeks. I can't imagine not seeing him at ALL for 2+ years!

I know how hard it is to concentrate on your work when your heart is somewhere else! *hug*

Although I am feeling the 'age squeeze' as well. By the time I graduate, Suka will be 11 years old or so...

If it were me, as much as it would hurt to do it, I would wait until I was in a stable enough situation to fly him over. I would wait until I had some sort of job to support him, etc.

As for your parents...I don't have any advice. When I suggested that Suka should live with me, my parents flat out said 'no'. There wasn't even any discussion about it...their house, their rules. Hopefully you'll have more success than I did...perhaps if you say that you can't concentrate on your school work without Dime?