Smokey Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 I made a good friend recently. She comes over often and has adjusted to our home and pets... I think she'd make an awesome cat owner. I think it would be a healthy step for her because she suffers from severe depression and low self-esteem. I feel that for her, having a cat will help her by giving her something to do when she is alone...But she says her family would be mortified if she got a cat. And I don't think she wants it either...I don't know if it's the responsibility she doesn't want, if it's a family judging thing that upsets her, if she truly doesn't like animals etc...I would like to let her 'borrow' one of our cats and see if it suits/helps her. But I don't know if I can convince her or change her mind...?Do you think I'm projecting too much of how I feel about animals onto her? Do you think that non-animal loving people can be changed so much? How? Do you think it's unhealthy for me and for her to try this experiment? I mean she really doesn't want a cat, but I honestly think; what's the harm when the cat can be returned to us if things do not work out? Am I being to pushy and what do you think might be the negative consequences of these thoughts that I have?Experiences, thoughts, ideas...EVERYTHING welcome C: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOBELHOWLUC49 Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 You have put the idea out there, I would leave it there and maybe let the idea grow or not as the case maybe... The last thing you want is for her to have the cat out of an obligation to your friendship... Just let her become slowly more comfortable with your animals and let her develop a bond over time..... Some things can not be rushed. I love your sense of commitment to your friend and your wish to make her life better. Hope it works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokey Posted October 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 You have put the idea out there, I would leave it there and maybe let the idea grow or not as the case maybe... The last thing you want is for her to have the cat out of an obligation to your friendship... Just let her become slowly more comfortable with your animals and let her develop a bond over time..... Some things can not be rushed. I love your sense of commitment to your friend and your wish to make her life better. Hope it works out. Thank you! That was really insightful C: <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elyse Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 My dad was terrified of dogs for years, so he grew to dislike them out of fear. After years of hinting that I wanted a dog, we finally got to adopt one. My Dad was hesitant, but once Suka came in the viewing room and showed no hostility towards him (unlike most other dogs), things seemed to be fine. Dad didn't want anything to do with him, though, and told us the responsibilities of caring for him are up to myself and my Mom (except financially, he took care of that). It took a long time before he would have anything to do with him...years. To this day (5 years later), he still doesn't interact with him like myself and my Mom (take him for walks, etc), but I think he's getting better. Slowly. I actually caught him talking to Suka the other day. (Although, he eventually lost his fear of dogs, which is wonderful!) But I agree with Nobel. Just let her sit on the idea for awhile, and maybe one day she'll decide to get one of her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahjng Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 You say she's adjusted to your pets, does that mean she tolerates them because you come as a package, or does she go out of her way to interact with them, if I go into a house with a cat or dog ( or spider/snake etc) I will deliberately approach the animal, but a field with a horse ? I would pet it if the owner invited me to, but wouldn't bother otherwise. Maybe watch her the next few times she comes round, it could be you find she will chose to sit away from your cats, or perhaps there is one she gravitates towards. It may take months before she is truly comfortable, it might never happen, and while a pet of any sort can help with depression, there is something better, and that's a friend. You have already become that, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mydiamond Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Well, I can't deny that companion animals are a huge help for people with emotional disturbances. But from the sound of it, it sure sounds like this girl isn't really into animals you can still get your friendliest, cuddliest cat visit her every weekend or so though. She doesn't have to live with the cat to benefit from the calming effect I won't blame you for bringing up the idea though. There's this girl that really isn't into any kind of dogs, but she's a curious one so she got me talking Husky day and night. Soon enough I started teasing her that she needs a puppy. But I always take the joke back as quick as I throw it onto the table, because deep down we both know she's not the right person to own a dog. Speaking of how non animal lovers can be "changed" or not, though, I have a different story. My boy is notorious for this crime. He is capable of stealing the hearts of even the absolute worst animal hater. My grandma, mean person and animal hater, made my dog her mascot the moment she set eyes on him. "Diamond" is the first name she calls whenever she visits our house, and also the first name she introduces to people when she's bringing guests. Two friends, including the girl I talked about in my first paragraph, overcame their long-time phobia of canines with Diamond's help. One of the two even gone as far as falling in love with Huskies, though will never own any kind of pets. So... can non animal lovers have their mind changed? Indeed. But one doesn't represent the entire population x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shansbo Posted October 23, 2014 Report Share Posted October 23, 2014 I understand your friends' situation. I use to hate large dogs because I was afraid of them. A lot of time fear is taught. I was chased by a pit bull and a Rottweiler (on two different occasions) when I was a kid. When I became an adult I wanted to overcome that fear and I always loved the German Shepherds, Huskies, and Akita's. I overcame my fear and got the Akita, this was over 10 years ago. You are right pets do help with lifting your spirits. My husky Cerulean has brought joy into my home. I can't believe I even put my hands in his mouth, but I love it. I would say you don't have to say anything else in regards to her getting a pet. As she sees how happy you are, she may want her own. If not she may just fall in love with yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingsolo Posted October 23, 2014 Report Share Posted October 23, 2014 Just keep being a good friend xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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