BlueWolf Posted November 27, 2014 Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 At the moment I'd love to do anything else than to write this post but with everything I've posted about Gijs on here I know it will just get a burden on me if I keep delaying it, so here we go... Today, only a few days after my happiness of finishing my college and being close to finding a home and a job for myself, I received the worst news I could ever hear. Of all of things that could've happen this wasn't one I was prepared for. Gijs has been deemed unadoptable. Although he's fine in the shelter, in his past three homes he was too unpredictable and too dangerous. With the last owners he was fine the first two weeks but started snapping and eventually biting after that. Even though they were experienced with difficult dogs, this wasn't something they could handle. So what does this mean? Well, he's going to be put off the website. No one, including myself, will be able to give him a home any more. Does this mean he's going to be put down? Luckily no. We have a organisation 'Dierenthuis' that takes in shelter dogs that cannot be rehomed. They have a huge pack of (very difficult!) dogs that go together just fine. Any dog that comes there, will stay there for the rest of their life. We have had dogs been rehomed to there previously, who has bit everyone here but I was eventually the only one he allowed to be near him after weeks of trying. He wasn't suitable for a home and now lives Dierenthuis and is doing absolutely great. I have been considering Dierenthuis for Gijs for some time but after some thinking I decided it was a bad idea. First of all, Gijs hasn't been socialised with dogs. He doesn't know how to behave around them and I'm worried about what will happen when he gets introduced to the 150+ dogs that live in one pack there. But more importantly, I do not think Gijs is unsuitable for adoption. I still see possibilities for him, at least for myself. I know him for a year now and have seen him slowly change to a friendly and very social dog towards humans (or at least to me!). I have only heard stories about his accidents yet when I approach him he's very submissive but also happy to have somebody near him. Normally he would only show this to me when I was alone but recently he'd became comfortable enough with me around that he will ignore any other distractions to stay near me. But now it doesn't matter any morebecause I am not able to give him a home anyway. I keep trying to tell myself I at least helped him along the way and prepared him for Dierenthuis but right now it's like telling myself a lie. That's not really the reason I've been doing this. This is just me feeling sad. For Gijs it's only a good thing. He's been here for nearly a year now and any place that isn't the shelter is a good place for him. He won't mind. Whether Dierenthuis is a better place than an actual home is something I'm not so sure about though... It will still take a few months before he can go there. Papers still need to be sorted and he'll need to be castrated first. I have been focussing on him so much the last few months that it had became an obsession. And I was completely aware of that but allowed it because I wanted to know as much as possible about him and get him to know me as much as possible. Because I had a goal. I had faith in him. I knew I could help him and am still convinced about that even with his stories. But now... What's the point of it? The shelter said I can always visit Gijs and give him a walk while he's still here. But I do not think that is a good idea. It's not healthy for me. So I have made the hardest decision in my life to say goodbye to him forever. I gave him a long walk today and said goodbye to him in his kennel like I do everyday without trying to make a big fuss about it. But I've been crying for the rest of the day. It's best for myself to have him gone out of my life. Now I somehow need to figure out what to do next... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted November 27, 2014 Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 I am so so sorry Jos. I know how much of your life you have devoted towards helping Gijs, you poured your heart and soul into rehabilitating him as best you could. I truly wish I could do something to change the outcome of this as I honestly believe if anyone had a chance of successfully rehoming him it would have been you. Is there any way you could contest the verdict? Sending you all of my love Jos, this must be so very heartbreaking for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted November 27, 2014 Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 Oh jos I'm so sorry :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted November 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 I am so so sorry Jos. I know how much of your life you have devoted towards helping Gijs, you poured your heart and soul into rehabilitating him as best you could. I truly wish I could do something to change the outcome of this as I honestly believe if anyone had a chance of successfully rehoming him it would have been you. Is there any way you could contest the verdict? Sending you all of my love Jos, this must be so very heartbreaking for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Thanks, I appreciate it. Yes, I did ask them. What if right now I would have a home and a place for them, would they consider it? The answer is no, the decision is final. At this moment I could've sorted it in about a month. So close... but alas Trying to look at it from the bright side, there have been a few things I've learned. One of them being that I learned I have a passion for difficult dogs and dogs with a problematic past. I have been working with dogs that were either aggressive or very afraid here in the shelter and most of them have been successful. I loved doing this. I think I'd love either working with problem dogs in the future or adopt one myself at some point. I'm not afraid of a challenge, I see it as a project and I love doing this. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to the shelter for my last internship day. I don't want to see Gijs, I don't even want to be close there any more. If I'm feeling better tomorrow I may go to there to show my face but say be final goodbye to the people I've been working with for the past two years. I don't just want to call in sick and not even being able to say a proper goodbye. But it's going to be hard knowing Gijs is just a few steps around the corner but it's better for me to leave it with this. I have an awful headache because of the crying and I can't even look straight any more. I'm feeling physically sick right now. Off to bed to try to get some sleep and gather some courage for tomorrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted November 27, 2014 Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 night night Jos. You know where I am if you want to talk. I too think it would be a good idea to go into work tommorrow. You've been part of the furniture there for 2 years now, it's been a big part of your life and you'll probably regret it if you don't say goodbye properly. Take care Jos. will be thinking of you. xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted November 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 [emoji561] night night Jos. You know where I am if you want to talk. I too think it would be a good idea to go into work tommorrow. You've been part of the furniture there for 2 years now, it's been a big part of your life and you'll probably regret it if you don't say goodbye properly. Take care Jos. will be thinking of you. xxx I'm more afraid I give in and see Gijs one last time. I won't be able to handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted November 27, 2014 Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 If you do go and say goodbye one more time to Gijs, then the way I see it, you can't feel any worse than you do already. If anything it will give you the final chance to say and do everything that you wanted to. Give you some closure if you need it. I would say "sleep on it" and see how you feel in the morning. xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clare70 Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 I have followed the ups and downs of your posts about Gijs and it's plain to see you love this dog! I'm so sad for you and him it breaks my heart! I so wish things were different for you and in time you will feel less sad about the decision that's been made. Sending lots of hugs X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowpups Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Hugs Hun read all the stories on gijs he defo sounds like he found a bond to you which is sad as he doesn't know what is going to happen. This new place sound like it might be the best for him if he does bite someone by accident he could be forced to be PTS which is defo not what you would want to hear. How about working somewhere like this place so you can work with these problem dog as they seem to great with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Hugs Hun read all the stories on gijs he defo sounds like he found a bond to you which is sad as he doesn't know what is going to happen. This new place sound like it might be the best for him if he does bite someone by accident he could be forced to be PTS which is defo not what you would want to hear. How about working somewhere like this place so you can work with these problem dog as they seem to great with you I'd love to work in a place like that, yes. That's something that I learned about myself. But it's not going to be this place in particular because everything is done by donations and volunteers. Today I made the hard step to at least go to the shelter to say a proper goodbye to all the people I've worked with. I couldn't even get two words out before I was already bawling my eyes out but I'm still glad I went there anyway. Deliberately didn't see Gijs, I already said goodbye to him yesterday and I don't want to go through that again. I'm going to give myself a short break now. I figured I could deserve some rest after having worked so hard in the past few months. I'm still applying for jobs but have told them I'm available from January. I need some time both for myself but also to be a bit more social with some close friends again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austinville Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Hugs Jos. I know your heart is pure gold. Don't beat yourself up.........you did everything you possibly could. I know that golden heart is breaking, but you are the best thing that could have happened to this boy.........and now, sadly, you have to let go. I wish that my wishes could change the outcome.............I wish they could heal your breaking heart. And his. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOBELHOWLUC49 Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Oh Jos I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you. One final good bye, to tell him how much you love him, will they let you be alone with him so you can say goodbye in private. I have loved hearing your news about Gijs. and the pics. wish I could wave that magic wand. You are an amazing hooman. X and Gijs is an amazing woof. Give him a hug from me and tell him we will all miss him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Big Hugs from Me My pack for both you and Poor Gijs. You've done everything possible to help the guy get a home. I hope he settles in with his new super-pack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazz Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Jos, I feel for you and Gijs. So sorry. It seems you alone understand Gijs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingsolo Posted November 30, 2014 Report Share Posted November 30, 2014 You have shown nothing but love and trust to a dog who finds human contact hard and by doing so you have helped him. It's sad that he doesn't fit into family life but that is him and you still love him. I know it hurts to let go but it is better that you let go and he lives a free life than he is put under pressure and snaps as there would be no going back. We are here for you and please dont change from the kind generous person you are, the world needs more like you xxxxx sending hugs from us and our 2 xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted December 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2014 I'm still grieving During the day I can occupy myself enough to put it out of my head for a moment but tonight I had a dream I can't get out of my head now. You know how wolves get reintroduced into the wild? You drive to a remote place and place the cage with the animal down so you can open it from a remote place. Well, I was doing just that but when I placed the cage down I realised I wasn't releasing a wolf, I was releasing Gijs. I couldn't make myself watch it. I released him but haven't got even a single glimpse of him. I woke up absolutely regretting that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Angel n Auroras Mum Posted December 1, 2014 Report Share Posted December 1, 2014 Jos you are such remarkable loving young man. this is so sad to read. im sorry x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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