Mazz Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 A friend told a blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ------------------------------------------------------------- Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two." ------------------------------------ A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine. ------------------------------------ A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. ------------------------------------ A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No", he shouts, "this is her husband!" ------------------------------------ A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!" ------------------------------------ A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies. ------------------------------------ A blonde man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blonde replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe". ------------------------------------ (This one actually makes sense...lol) An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingsolo Posted January 3, 2015 Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 Brilliant x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kells xx Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahjng Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Love em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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