A Pet You Don't Click With

[mydiamond]

So I bought this book on my Thanksgiving trip. It's called Pure Joy, a "Marley & Me" type of book that reviews the author's list of past and present dogs instead of focusing on just one. I hated it. That author does not sound like a responsible owner judging by her stories (to be fair though she began the book with the statement that she's not a dog person). She treated dogs like pieces of collectibles; buying off pet stores and breeders that barely sound reputable, giving away dogs as gifts, re-homing one female for having a pseudo pregnancy and auctioning puppies off. But all cringing aside, she (the author) raised one thought-provoking idea: a dog (or a pet in general I guess) you just don't click with. She first introduced the idea by bringing up a friend's Boxer that was bought as a puppy. She said that despite all those years the owner spent together with that Boxer, they just don't 'click'. Meaning; there's little if any emotional connections between owner and dog. Then she went on about how she currently has five dogs, but actually wish she only had three. These two 'other' dogs aren't misbehaving or anything... she just doesn't click with them.

 

Having only had three pets in total so far (the dog and the two fishes), I can't really say whether this person just shouldn't have dogs or it's really possible to not bond with a pet that has been with you for years. Maybe I'm just a pushover, but I always bond super quickly with my pets. Dime had me head over heels since the first second I saw him. True Blue had only been with me for less than a month, yet I bawled my eyes out when he passed on. Memory, being technically my rebound pet after losing True Blue, honestly did not charm me as much initially. There was no "this is the one!" feeling when I first met her. But three days later, Mem became my new queen.

 

So. Stories? Thoughts? Comments?

[Zanki]

Hmm, I've had pets I've clicked with and some I haven't. I do care for all of them though and I would never get rid of one even if we didn't get along or they were bad pets (none have ever been bad though). I had a gerbil who just didn't care for me, he refused to come near me all his life. He had a brother though, he was an amazing gerbil who was my best friend for the two months I had him. He got very sick and died leaving his brother alone. He refused to go near me, was always skittish, so I tried getting him a friend, but the other gerbil was too aggressive and it never worked out. I was happy to keep them both though. I agreed to keep Io (I renamed him Ayase) even if the split didn't work out so I did. I never clicked with Zhane and Ayase used to bite me constantly but it was fine. They were my boys and got all the love and attention they wanted from me which wasn't much. They had big cages to run around in with lots of digging space so even though they refused to leave their cages, they were well kept and lived good lives.

 

I've always got animals, sometimes we click, sometimes we don't, but it doesn't change anything. When I take them in they become mine until the day they die. I don't care how much trouble they are or if they don't want to know me.

[Elyse]

It took me a bit to 'click' with Suka (a few months, I guess?). My Dad is just starting to 'click' and bond with him now, 5 years later after Suka's adoption.

I was the first one to bond with Suka, then my Mom, then my brother, and now my Dad. 

 

Now, I feel Suka just 'gets' me. And I 'get' him. I can tell what he wants or what he's saying just by his barks and his body language.

When my budgie was still alive, it took a couple of months to 'click' as well, mostly because I had to train him to go on my finger. He kept on pecking at me, and while it didn't hurt that bad, it kept on startling me! 

Edited January 9, 2015 by SolitaryHowl

[Emma]

I suppose it depends on how you view animals.   most of us animal lovers view them as members of our own family and treat them as such but to some people they are just a pet and their role within the household is viewed in an entirely different way. 

 

When we first got ice it took a while for me to bond with him.  Don't get me wrong, i cared for him both physically and emotionally just as much as i did the others but we didn't click straight from the word go.  Took about a month to feel a deeper bond.  Not sure why but i suspect him attacking Brooke several times might have had something to do with it. 

[sarahjng]

I bonded with Bear immediately, and I tried desperately NOT to bond with freyja, I know that sounds strange, but when my OH decided he wanted a dog (bear is mine, not the family's) I made it clear that if he got a dog, HE had to be responsible for it, all of it. We talked about it alot, I was happy with one, I could take him with me to the shops, bank, but I knew two would be much harder. I deliberately distanced myself from her so he had to deal with playtime etc, but this noisy eating machine wormed her way in, and I admit I caved, I do meals, training, vet visits, baths and brushes, all he seems to do is walkies, ( lol she still pulls like a train !)

[SnowDogLove]

I must say I can understand where this woman is coming from. I had a hamster when I was younger and he was a real SOB. Cute as a button but never wanted to be held and would always bite if you tried. We eventually gave him to another family that had always wanted a hamster and all was well, we did not "click," I guess, as I wanted a pet I could be more hands-on with. As odd as it is to me now, my family had had a lot of pets that came and went without me caring much when I was younger. It was not until I was older and made the decision to get my own pet that I became attached to them. (Although there was a cat named Shady that we all loved dearly, really one of those "I love you all but I'm going to act like I could care less about you" types.)

 

Cara, Meeko, and Jager I fell in love with as soon as I held them in my arms. Cara and Meeko were a little difficult to bond with at first, however because basically for the first several months of their lives they were raised by Cody's sister (the one who made me a felt Meeko!) because we were trying to buy a house and couldn't have them at our apartment. (Long story short, the first house that we would have had when we got them fell through and had to find another one ASAP.) Roux...ohhh Roux. She's been the most difficult to bond with mostly because she's been the biggest pain in the butt. I would be heartbroken if anything happened to her, but I do feel that out of all of them I am the least close to her (aside from Leloo who we just got.) Leloo I felt bonded with after the first day because she was so sweet, and just napped with me on the couch while I watched TV all day. 

[Austinville]

Some personalities just don't 'click', I suppose.

 

We once had a Norwegian Elkhound that we adopted. Our first was awesome, protected the kids and the house, just an amazing canine. When he was shot by an idiot, we adopted the second one. Adorable fella, but just wasn't all there. And I mean that in the kindest and most loving way possible. He knew he lived at our home, knew that was where he got great food, but could have cared less about us at any other time. He once attached himself with a roofer who we hired to fix our roof. Followed that man everywhere for whatever reason. But as I think back, I don't think this boy had any skills.......had never learned or perhaps had the capability to learn - to bond. It was a sad situation, though we never gave up trying.

 

You could look into his eyes and know he wasn't all there........He never did bond with us but we kept him. I'd adopted him and promised him a good life and that's exactly what we did. Had I ever thought that he would bond with someone else, if he'd ever shown any real bonding with anyone who visited us, I would have given him to them.

 

In some cases, it's not a matter of not wanting to, rather another issue. Sometimes it's just personality issues, other times, as in my case, it was a mental issue.

[SnowDogLove]

Wow, a dog incapable of bonding with anyone, that is a tragedy in itself.   

[Zanki]

Some personalities just don't 'click', I suppose.

 

We once had a Norwegian Elkhound that we adopted. Our first was awesome, protected the kids and the house, just an amazing canine. When he was shot by an idiot, we adopted the second one. Adorable fella, but just wasn't all there. And I mean that in the kindest and most loving way possible. He knew he lived at our home, knew that was where he got great food, but could have cared less about us at any other time. He once attached himself with a roofer who we hired to fix our roof. Followed that man everywhere for whatever reason. But as I think back, I don't think this boy had any skills.......had never learned or perhaps had the capability to learn - to bond. It was a sad situation, though we never gave up trying.

 

You could look into his eyes and know he wasn't all there........He never did bond with us but we kept him. I'd adopted him and promised him a good life and that's exactly what we did. Had I ever thought that he would bond with someone else, if he'd ever shown any real bonding with anyone who visited us, I would have given him to them.

 

In some cases, it's not a matter of not wanting to, rather another issue. Sometimes it's just personality issues, other times, as in my case, it was a mental issue.

 

I had a rat who had mental issues. I think I ended up with a runt when I picked her out. She came to me with her sisters and I could hold all three in the palm of my hand they were so small. Kit was a strange girl. She hated being touched by anyone, didn't like being held and refused treats. I realised pretty quickly that something wasn't quite right with her. She always walked on her tip toes as well. Physically she was fine really, just weedy and small. We never bonded but I cared for her. I had her just under a year, she got sick with Kase, Kase suddenly died. I still don't know what happened there then kit's breathing went to crap and she died as well. No amount of antibiotics could save her. Their deaths sucked, but what was worse was watching Len. They were her sisters and she freaked out when they never went home. First her mum died (it wasn't really her mum, but Blade treated them like they were her own children), then Splinter vanished, she was an old, grumpy lady who was my best friend. She didn't really care about Splints but Blade leaving freaked her out, then her sisters were awful. She kept looking for them, trying to see if they were in the sick cage I had set up next to her cage. She started refusing to be out of her cage for more then a few minutes at a time. I got her two friends since Takku was old at this point and wasn't going to last much longer and Len was only a year old. She never really bonded with them and was kind of the odd one out. Takku died which was her last friend (I miss Takku so much, I was very, very close to her. Only rat I've cried for apart from Len, but that's because we had to put her to sleep and I hated that. It probably sounds heartless, I just don't cry for every animal. I understand it's their time, doesn't mean I'm not sad though or upset). Now it's just Dante and Vergil left, those girls are so damn sweet and friendly. They were adopted from Pets at Home, no one wanted them. I don't know why because the first thing they did when I pulled them out of the display in the store was nuzzle my neck and lick me like crazy. I really like those two, but they are getting old as well, they were only six months younger then Len so they are getting to two years old now

[NOBELHOWLUC49]

We had so many animals when I was living at home I have trouble remembering all of them.  Hurby my mouse who was chocolate brown, was not my best buddy after he bit my finger which made faint.  Still loved him though he was so cute.  RIP my Hurby.  

 

Hammy 1 was my beautiful Hamster who died on xmas eve , I bonded with her, well as much as you can with a small furball.  And hammy 2 and Hammy 3. X