Little Chortles!

[robke]

After being married for forty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said: "You're an alphabet wife... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks: "What the heck does that mean?"

He said: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot".

She smiled happily and said: "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said: "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down now.

 

 

 

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is  3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's pouring with rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

God loves drunk people too you know."

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello Mister, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.


"I'm over here on the swing," replied the drunk....  

[Andy]

i did chortle

[robke]

think we could do with a swing at camp...