robke Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spread sheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair en square." says Billy. He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car. As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?" The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know? He grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play." "You're a politician & you work in Canberra." says the old timer. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered Billy "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog." AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Hahahahahaha - nice one Rob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted April 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Hahahahahaha - nice one Rob glad you liked it Jase... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingsolo Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Love it can I vote for Billy???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOBELHOWLUC49 Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 I love this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted April 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 I did that is why I posted it...sounds like politicians all over the world... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOBELHOWLUC49 Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Sounds like some people I know, LOL. The words "No really you don't say" have to stay firmly in my head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 glad you liked it Jase... Twas very easy to picture the whole outback scene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazz Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 That was a most excellent joke, Rob. Good one to start the weekend. Besides it was pretty funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clare70 Posted April 4, 2015 Report Share Posted April 4, 2015 Bonkers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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