robke Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 These will work. 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. 6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. THOUGHT for the day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. SOME ADDITIONAL ADVICE: NEVER,UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingsolo Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Thank you 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robke Posted May 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 1 minute ago, goingsolo said: Thank you you are more then welcome.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asslinn Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 lol made me laugh, love them thank you 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awolf401 Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Can I add one? I'm trying to lose a few pounds and found this helpful diet tip: Your pants never get too tight if you don't wear any. A++ on the advice Rob 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted May 2, 2016 Report Share Posted May 2, 2016 Sent via the power of telepathy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.