Done

[Wolfee]

I've had depression since like year 9/10 of Highschool, I've had lots of counselling and stuff like that, but its not helped much, and earlier this year I was diagnosed with both depression and anxiety and was put on anti-depressants. 

 

I've been low before and I've contemplated suicide lots of times, but sitting here right now is the closest I've ever felt to actually going through with it. 

 

I'm at my friends house, surrounded by my 4 best friends, and we're just doin the usual, just playing video games and joking around, but I'm just distracted with how horrible I feel. 

I feel guilty for being around them like this, I just keep thinking "do they really want me here" "what do I actually bring to their life? my jokes aren't funny, my company isn't great or interesting, especially not when I'm like this, so they can't possibly be enjoying my company"... Am I just being tolerated because they feel sorry for me? 

 

I just feel guilty and selfish at being like this when they are hanging out with me and trying to make me laugh with them etc. 

I just feel empty, and wracked with guilt and it's just getting worse each second.

 

i don't know what to do, I feel like I'm gonna burst out crying any minute now. 

I feel pathetic for being like this I just want to be normal. 

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

Hugs girls can be horrible so if they didn't want u around u wouldn't be there , I'm sure you are really lovely and funny and 4 bet u are interesting too! wish there was something I could say to make u feel better but I know it won't help u just know we're here if u ever need to rant or talk

[Emma]

Trust me. You might not think too highly of yourself but those around you care very deeply and would be devastated to see something happen to you.

If you've been on anti depressants for several months without feeling any benefit then clearly this particular drug/dose isn't the right one for you. There are so many to try. Many ssri's, snri's and other types too. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right drug and doseage that works for you.

When you're stuck in a sea of black, it's hard to ever picture yourself seeing daylight again. But hang in there, there are better days ahead of you. Xxx

Sent via the power of rubbish tapatalk

[Wolfee]

Thanks everyone, I'm better now. I think I was just in a bit of a funny rut at that moment. 

4 hours ago, BingBlaze n Skyla said:

Hugs girls can be horrible so if they didn't want u around u wouldn't be there , I'm sure you are really lovely and funny and 4 bet u are interesting too! wish there was something I could say to make u feel better but I know it won't help u just know we're here if u ever need to rant or talk

Funnily enough they're all guys haha, I get along with dudes better x that's the thing though, guys are useless with this sort of stuf haha xx they always try to cheer me up though. 

 

To be honest ive been off them for about a week because I ran out and couldn't get a doctors appointment to renew them, so I think it's mostly withdrawal, and the effects of starting them again a few days ago, so I'll probably have to wait for them to kick in again  I'm usually fine when I'm continually on them, and I know this logically but I can't help where my mind wanders off to sometimes x 

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

Thanks everyone, I'm better now. I think I was just in a bit of a funny rut at that moment. 

Funnily enough they're all guys haha, I get along with dudes better x that's the thing though, guys are useless with this sort of stuf haha xx they always try to cheer me up though. 

 

To be honest ive been off them for about a week because I ran out and couldn't get a doctors appointment to renew them, so I think it's mostly withdrawal, and the effects of starting them again a few days ago, so I'll probably have to wait for them to kick in again [emoji20] I'm usually fine when I'm continually on them, and I know this logically but I can't help where my mind wanders off to sometimes x 

Even better , I get on with guys better too , much nicer to hang out with

[Wolfee]

1 hour ago, BingBlaze n Skyla said:

Even better , I get on with guys better too , much nicer to hang out with

Yeah haha the only downside is that when it comes to emotions they're useless 

[BingBlaze n Skyla]

Yeah haha the only downside is that when it comes to emotions they're useless 

That's what we're here for

[goingsolo]

Hope today is better x depression is awful I find taking 1 day at a time helps xx

[Rachael_Astro]

Hope you're ok! Depression is a horrible thing, I do know how you feel. I refused to take tablets though, I'm not a believer in tablets helping mental health. I have an app called Headspace, it's a meditating all and it only takes 5 mins a day to do, I find that really useful to start the day with and if you can, try exercising as the endorphins released from exercise helps beat depression. And most importantly, don't be afraid to talk about it and don't keep your feelings bottled up! Big hugs

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Awolf401]

Been there before. It gets better so long as your seeking help which you are. It's like a steam train sometimes when it starts it doesn't stop. Not all guys are useless some of us do counseling for those who honestly need it. Got to remeber a guys natural urge is to fix things. Sometimes we forget that listening is more what you ladies want. Good luck and remeber no matter how bad it gets there are people who care.