Sarah Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 a few more to make you smile An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and looks it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave! The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.' Some old men can still think fast. Big People Words A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. She asked John what he had done over the weekend? "I went to visit my Nana." No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words." She then asked little Alex what he had done? "I read a book," he replied. That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT" 12 Things To NEVER Say To A Cop I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! Are You Andy or Barney? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? I pay your salary! Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunc Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 "Winnie the SHIT" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacca_&_me Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 LOL, those are great! love that last bit "have you been eating donuts?" lmao! I might say that to some HPD guy sometime! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BingBlaze n Skyla Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valkyries Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 love the winnie the shit one lol xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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